I didn't know transferring to Southeastern would make me feel worse about myself than I already did. The reason I left LSU was because of Bryan. I thought he was the one, until I walked in on him with my best friend. I had to get away and start somewhere different.

Starting at Louisiana State University, I didn't think it would come along with a roommate who was head over heels in love with her boyfriend, David. Katie was nice and spunky. She was overall a good roommate. The only reason I disliked her was because she was so happy in her relationship.

I sat on my bed in our dorm and tried to focus on my homework. I found this to be extremely hard considering Katie and David would not stop giggling from the other side of the room. I envied their happiness.

"Katie, I'm going to have to go," said David

"Whyyyyyyy?" Katie whined. Katie was one of those girls who would say, 'No you hang up first!' when getting off the phone with her boyfriend.

"I've gotta get Cameron a match for tomorrow," said David. I was half paying attention until I heard my name.

"What about Jess?!" Katie said. I looked up.

"Jess! Yes, you're perfect. He'll pick you up tomorrow at 7," said David. Wait, who was picking me up? I was still fighting to get over Bryan. I didn't want to participate in any blind dates.

"Wait, who is Cameron? And why is he picking me up tomorrow?" I asked.

"Cameron's my roommate," said David. "He doesn't believe in love, or in relationships in general. He thought Katie and I wouldn't last a week, so we made a deal. I get to set him up on blind dates once a week, for as long as Katie and I date. I don't think he thought he would have to go on more than two dates, but three months later..."

"Three and a half months," said Katie.

"Three and a half months, whatever," said David, "I'm still setting him up on dates."

The whole idea was stupid. Setting up desperate girls with some jerk once a week was just cruel. I had absolutely no desire to spend any of my time with this Cameron guy. If I was looking for a relationship, which I wasn't, I wouldn't be interested in a guy clearly not interested in me.

"I think I'll pass," I said.

"Come on Jess you have to do it!" Katie squealed. "It'll help you get over that Brandon guy!"

"Bryan," I corrected her.

"Whatever," said Katie. "All you do is sit in this room! You never go out! You have to go! It'll be fun!" Katie was irritating me. So what if I never went out? She never did anything but hang out with David. I was trying to finish my homework but she wouldnt stop whining. She kept insisting that I go, so I attempted to shut her up.

"If I go," I began. "Will you and David please get out?"

"Yay!" Katie squeaked. "I'm so excited I'm going to pick out your outfit and do your hair and your makeup and maybe I can even pluck those eyebrows and don't forget to shave your legs and..."

"Okay," said David. "Let's go, Katie. Let Jess finish her homework." He turned to me,"Don't get too excited now." He winked.

I rolled my eyes as they left the room. I tried to come up with some excuse to get me out of this blind date, but I couldn't. I would be stuck with Cameron tomorrow night.


Katie did as she said. She picked out my outfit, did my hair, makeup, and even plucked my eyebrows. She put me in a blue maxi dress with some of her obnoxiously big jewelry. She curled my dull brown hair and put a gold shimmery powder on my eyes. She squealed and danced around the room the entire time.

Suddenly, there was a lousy knock at the door. I could already tell from his knock that I disliked Cameron. Katie gave a faint squeak and answered the door. Cameron walked in casually with his hands in his pockets. He had curly brown hair and a somewhat crooked nose. He looked annoyed, as if he went on blind dates a thousand times. He gave me a head nod. I glared at him. This was not going to be a fun night.

"You can call me Cameron," he said to me. "Don't start thinking of nicknames for me. Trust me, this date isn't going anywhere." He gave me a smirk.

"Nice to meet you, too," I responded. I began walking towards the door until he stopped me.

"WAIT! Let me get the door. Apparently, it's 'being a gentleman.' I've gotta make a good first impression," he said sarcastically, with a smirk still on his face. I walked out the door quickly, trying to make this night go as quickly as it could.

We drove in silence for about ten minutes, until we reached an Olive Garden on the side of the road. We proceeded into the restaurant and sat at a booth near the kitchen. After sitting in silence for awhile, a tall man approached our table and asked to take our order. Before I could even speak, Cameron began talking.

"Yeah, I'll take the chicken alfredo with a Coke. And she'll have the Mediterranean salad with a water," Cameron said casually. I looked up at him and he smiled confidently.

Our waiter suddenly looked at me and said, "Your boyfriend knows you very well," and gave me a huge smile. Cameron laughed. I didn't want to be rude, so I just smiled politely as he walked away.

"What was that all about?" I asked Cameron.

"Please," he said. "Like I didn't know what you were going to order. I think you've forgotten, I do this all the time." He chuckled and took a sip of his coke that the waiter had just brought to us. I found him completely rude and cocky. I wanted to leave.

"So," he began, "What brings you to Southeastern?" I hesitated before responding. Why should I tell him about my personal life? But then again, I would probably never see this boy again.

"I walked in on my boyfriend with my roommate, who also happened to be my best friend. I had to get away and start somewhere different," I confessed.

Cameron looked at me intensely for a moment before asking, "Did you love him?"

I hesitated before responding, "Yeah, yeah I did. He was my boyfriend of three years. We've been dating since high school."

I don't know why I expected any sympathy from Cameron, because he immediately rolled his eyes. "Ugh, love," he said "I think it's overrated personally."

"You do?" I said.

"Yeah," he cleared his throat. "Let me put it this way. You put in all of this time and energy to make some guy or girl like you, right? And then once you finally get them, you spend all of your time trying to keep the relationship steady. You're constantly paranoid about what the other is doing. And then once you've gained that trust, you're just waiting for it to be broken. And then when it is, you fall into a pit of despair. And then it happens all over again with someone else. Who wants to live their life that way? Not me. I'd rather keep going on these blind dates every week with girls that David sets me up with."

"That's not all true," I said. "Not all relationships are like that. It is possible for them to last, you know."

"Just like yours?" He responded with raised eyebrows. That silenced me. I didn't have a response, so I just shrugged.

"Look," he said. "Do you still love him?"

"Yeah," I responded.

"Did he apologize?"

"Many times."

"Why did you run away? If it really is 'love' than you should try to get him back."

"I should?"

"Yes. I'll help you if you want," said Cameron, "It may not seem like it, but I actually have pretty good relationship advice." I stared at him. Our food came and we ate in silence. For the first time, I really looked at this boy. Loneliness swam in his eyes, though his attitude tried to cover it up.

"Fine," I said as our waiter gave Cameron the check.

"Fine what?" He said not even looking up from the check.

"You can help me get back together with Bryan," I said. He smiled and closed the check.

"Fantastic," he said. He finally looked up at me while he pulled his keys out of his pocket. "Let's get out of here."

"We'll start tomorrow," he said after pulling out of the parking lot. "I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." He must have noticed the look on my face, because he asked, "What are you busy or something?"

"Well, I like to sit by the big oak tree next to the library on Saturday mornings and write music," I said. He looked at me with raised eyebrows.

"You write music?" He asked. I blushed.

"Yeah a little," I said. "Just songs with my guitar." We pulled up to the front of my building and got out the car.

He opened my door and said, "Well I guess I'll be at the oak tree next to the library tomorrow. I'll see you then." He smiled at me and shut my door. He got back in the car and waved. I stood on the sidewalk for a moment, watching him drive away.


I sat at the large oak with my six year old guitar. I struggled to finish this song. It was about Bryan. I began the song when he and I were still together, so it was a happy song. It was coming along nicely, so I didn't want to trash it.

Suddenly, I got a text from Cameron saying he was on his way. Cameron confused me. He was such an uninteresting person at the beginning of the night, and then suddenly he wanted to help me. I didn't necessarily want his help, but at the same time I enjoyed spending time with him.

Cameron suddenly pulled up next to the oak tree and got out of his car. He walked over towards me and sat down.

"Alright," he said sarcastically, "Let's begin helping you get back together with your jerk of a boyfriend."

I glared at him and said, "Look, you're the one who wanted to help me. If you're going to act like that, then you can just leave." He rolled his eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry," he picked up my lyric book, "What's this?" He asked. I snatched it away from him.

"Stop!" I yelled. "Those are my songs. You can't read them."

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because they're not finished yet," I replied.

"None of them are finished?" He asked

"Well, some are. The one I've been working on lately isn't finished," I said.

"What's it about?" He asked. I was getting annoyed with all of these questions. Why did he care?

"It's about Bryan. I started it when we were still together, but now I can't finish it. Music is a really good way for me to express my feelings," I stopped talking, waiting for him to interrupt me with some sly comment, but he didn't. He just listened. "So, um," I continued, "I've just been struggling to finally get it done, that's all." He was still staring at me. It was kind of creeping me out. He finally broke his stare and went back to his normal self.

"Well," he said. "That's stupid. You should just finish it. But anyway, have you talked to Bryan since the breakup?" ,he asked, suddenly changing the subject.

"Not really," I replied. "But he's been leaving me tons of voicemails and text messages."

He snickered. "You don't even need my help," he said. "All you need to do is call him and ask to see him again."

"Now?" I asked.

"Now?!" He repeated. "You must be joking. Of course not! Send him a text now telling him you want to talk later."

"Why should I listen to you?" I asked.

"Do you have a better idea?" He asked with annoyance ringing in his voice.

"Fine," I said. I pulled out my phone and began to text Bryan. I hesitated to press send, until Cameron grabbed my phone and did it for me.

"Why did you do that?!" I asked.

"Because you weren't going to," he said. "I'm helping you, remember?"

I snatched my phone away from him and picked up my guitar. I didn't want to sit here with Cameron any longer.

"Wait, where are you going?" He asked.

"I'm leaving," I said. "I want to practice without you sitting next to me."

"No, don't leave," he said. "I want to hear you. You won't even know I'm here." I hesitated to play for him, but something about him lured me in. I sat back down and began playing. He just stared at me as I played and sang. I suddenly stopped at the part of my song where I had left off.

"Why did you stop?" Cameron asked. "I was enjoying it."

"That's all I have so far," I replied. "That was the one about Bryan."

"You should sing one of your songs at the Brewhouse next Friday," he suggested. The Brewhouse was a local coffee shop that had an open mic every Friday. I had never really shared my music with anyone, but when Cameron suggested it, it sounded like a good idea.

"Okay," I said. I looked at Cameron and he wouldn't make eye contact with me. I found myself asking, "Why don't you believe in love anyway?"

He looked at me with sadness in his eyes. He looked back down and began pulling at the grass beneath his feet.

"My parents are divorced. My dad has been remarried three times and my mom has been remarried twice. None of their relationships worked out. They're both single now." He paused and took a deep breath. "I moved around a lot. I never got a full nights sleep. I was awakened by slamming doors and yelling." He still wouldn't look up at me. I didn't know what to say. I had no idea.

My phone suddenly buzzed, interrupting our silence. It was a text from Bryan that read, 'call me tonight.' I showed Cameron and he raised his eyebrows.

"Well, I guess I'll be writing up what you're going to say," he said.

"What?!" I asked. "Why?!" He just smiled and got up. He walked over to his car and drove away. I watched his car drive away and I questioned whether or not this would be a good idea. I got up too and drove back to my dorm.


Later that night, I sat on my bed in my dorm room when there was an unexpected knock at the door. I got up and opened the door to see Cameron standing there with a piece of paper. He began to read it in a high pitched voice.

"Hello? Bryan? It's me, Jess. I just wanted to call and apologize for being so stuck up when you were obviously trying to fix things. It's all my fault. PLEASE TAKE ME BACK!" He began laughing and I snatched the paper away from him.

"That's not funny," I told him.

"It's just a joke," he said, still laughing.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked.

"I actually have a date tonight with some girl named Macy right down the hall," he said. I knew Macy. Who didn't? She had bleached blonde hair and the most obnoxious laugh I've ever heard. She hung out with Katie a lot in our dorm.

"So," he began. "Have you called Bryan yet?"

"No," I replied.

"This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?" He asked.

"Yeah, it does," I began. "After you feel so deeply about someone it's so hard to let go. For the longest time I never realized it. When I finally experienced love, I was almost addicted. I just find it amazing how we're capable to feel so strongly about someone. It's the best gift you could give someone. It's the greatest feeling in the world."

I expected some sarcastic remark following my embarrassing monologue, but he said nothing. He just looked at me. He had a look on his face that I haven't seen on him before. I didn't like this awkward silence, so I broke it.

"Uh, you better get going," I said. "You don't wanna keep Macy waiting." The look finally left Cameron's face.

"You're right, uh," he thought for a moment. "Good luck with Bryan." He smiled awkwardly and walked down the hall.

I closed my door and situated myself back on my bed. I picked up my phone and called Bryan.

"Hello?" It was Bryan's voice. I hadn't heard it in awhile. I was taken aback. "Hello?" He said again. "Jess? Did you want to talk?" I heard other voices besides his. I also heard laughing and music.

"Uh, yeah," I said. I heard him mumble something to someone he was with.

"Anyway," I tried to get his attention. "I was wondering if I could see you. We can try to work things out."

"Sounds great," he said. It seemed like he was trying to rush me. "How about Thursday night? I'll text you the deets." I could hear the music getting louder.

"Where are you?" I asked.

"Oh, nowhere," he replied. "I'm just at a family thing, don't worry about it." Something told me he was lying, but something else told me to ignore it.

"Okay well I gotta go," he said. "Great talking to you again, Jess." I heard him hang up. I had done it. Bryan had agreed to see me. I thought I would be happy, even excited. But I wasn't even looking forward to it.


This week, I barely ate anything. I was so nervous for Thursday night. I was even more nervous for Friday night when I was going to be singing at the Brewhouse. Cameron had texted me asking me how things went with Bryan, but I didn't want to tell him anything until after Thursday night.

Thursday night had finally come and I met Bryan outside of my building. He looked exactly the same. He walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Yeah," I replied. We walked to his car and I expected him to open my door, but he didn't. We sat in silence in the car for a moment until I decided to start talking.

"So," I began. "How have you been?"

"Good," he said, without even looking at me.

"Was your drive over here okay?" I asked.

"Yup," he replied. I wasn't used to these one word answers. I think it was because I've been spending too much time with Cameron. We pulled up to the movie theatre and I was suddenly upset.

"Wait," I began. "We're seeing a movie?"

"Yeah?" He said sarcastically. "Is that a problem?"

"No, no," I said, looking down. "I just kind of hoped we would get the chance to talk."

"Ok, so talk," he said. I took a deep breath and licked my lips. How was I going to put this?

"I really missed you," I said. "And I wanted to give you a second chance. I want to get back together." I waited for the awkward silence, but there was none.

"Okay," he responded, almost immediately. That was it? We were back together?

"Hey," he began. "Can we go now? I really wanna see this new Jim Carrey movie."

"Yeah, sure." We got out of the car and walked to the theatre. Bryan and I were back together. I didn't know why I wasn't happier. We held hands during the movie and it felt better to be back in a relationship.

We left the movie and got back into the car. We drove back to my dorm is silence. When we got there, I hopped out of the car and I motioned for him to follow me.

"Hey, um," I began. "Do you wanna come hear me sing tomorrow? I'm playing at the Brewhouse at eight." He checked his phone and for a moment I didn't think he had heard me.

"Sure," he replied. "I wouldn't miss it." He smiled at me and I smiled back. He kissed me quickly and got back in his car and drove away. Butterflies filled my stomach and I began to smile. Bryan and I were back together.


I was next. In four short minutes, I would be up on that stage and performing for people for the first time. I hadn't seen the audience yet, but I knew Bryan was probably front and center. My name was called and I stepped onto the stage. I took my seat on the stool and situated my guitar upon my knee. I began playing without looking up. With all my might, I looked up at the audience and began to sing. Faces smiled back at me and I forced a lousy smile. It wasn't a very big place, so I scanned the crowd for Bryan. I looked towards the back first and didn't see him. I directed my eyes towards the front and I saw him. It wasn't Bryan, it was Cameron. He had that same look on his face that he had the last time I saw him. For some reason, I couldn't break eye contact with him. He made me feel safe.

My song finished and I began to wonder where Bryan was. He was probably watching from offstage. I got off the stage, expecting to see Bryan waiting for me behind the curtains. But the tall figure emerging from the curtains wasn't Bryan. It was Cameron.

"I don't know if you saw me out there but, um," he said nervously, "You were great. You know I never really come to these kind of things, but I wanted to come for you," he looked down and paused. He took a deep breath before looking into my eyes and saying, "I wanted to come for you because I think I'm in love with you, Jess." My heart stopped beating. I felt all the blood rush to my face. Cameron loved me? I thought he didn't believe in love.

"I know what you're thinking," he said. "I always talk about how overrated love is but you opened my eyes. You taught me what love is, and now you've taught me how to feel it." I didn't know what to say. How was I going to tell him?

"Cameron..." I began. "I'm really sorry but, Bryan and I got back together last night."
I'll never forget the look on his face. All of the color left his face and he looked down.

"Oh," he said, trying to smile."That's great. That's really great. I'm really happy for you both." He refused to make eye contact with me as he walked past me out the door.

A million thoughts ran through my head. Everything started to make sense. The way that strange look crept upon his face lately finally made sense. He had been falling in love with me. I don't understand why he was helping me get back together with Bryan.

I started to feel light headed so I walked outside. The cold January air hit my face and warm tears began to fill my eyes. I heard giggling and I turned around to see Bryan flirting with Cameron's last blind date, Macy.

I couldn't believe it. Bryan didn't love me. I began to wonder if he had ever loved me in the first place. I took out my phone and took a picture of them and sent it to Bryan with no context. He'll get the hint.

Walking to my car, the tears began to stream down my face. I had lost both Bryan and Cameron in one night. Cameron was nothing like Bryan. In a way, I began to think that may not be such a bad thing.

I pulled over to the oak tree next to the library. I got out of my car and pulled my guitar out of the trunk. Walking over to the tree, I pulled out my songwriting notebook and plopped down in front of the tree.


The next morning I went back to the oak tree. It was no surprise to me that Cameron was already there, waiting for me. I got out of my car, grabbed my guitar and walked over to him. He turned around and gave me a small smile.

"Hey," he said, looking slightly embarrassed. "Look I just wanted to apologize for last night. I was completely out of line. If you're happy with Bryan, then I'm happy." That moment, I dropped my guitar and kissed him. He was taken aback and pulled away after a moment.

"I don't understand," he said, confused. "What about Bryan?"

"You were right when you said not all relationships work out," I replied with a smile.

"And you were right when you said being in love was the greatest feeling in the world," he smiled and then leaned in to kiss me again, but I stopped him.

"I finished my song," I said.

"The one about Bryan?" He asked.

"Well, now it's about you," I said. He smiled and picked up my guitar up from the ground. I took it and sat down. I played the song for him while he looked at me in a way Bryan never looked at me. When the song was finished, he kissed me again.

Suddenly, we heard honking coming from a car passing us. We heard hooting and hollering coming from the car. We then realized it was David and Katie. We laughed and waved as they passed. When they finally drove away, Cameron kissed me again under the big oak tree next to the library.