I take a breath. Four chairs across from me lies the ultimate peril - the object that determines if I have yet to take another breath. I wonder if my face portrays the fear that is burrowing into the depths of my heart. Within the splenetic rush, I try to point my mind towards other directions or let the wind whisk it away, but it stays…the image haunting every part of me until I know no other feeling. I feel the eyes burn into my skin as inquiries raise throughout the audience of my mind. Why do I deserve this? Why can’t it stop? An abhorrent agony begins to play even more with my mind and heart. A voice is saying something but I’m so unsure of myself that I don’t know how to answer. I feel more emotion creep up my back. I’m going crazy. My voice comes out - the one I didn’t know still had existed. It’s barely a whisper telling a figure that I’m okay when I really don’t even know where to begin. The swiftness of my heartbeat was flying so fast it was beginning to blur. I needed to scream. I needed to escape…but commands keep coming as I’m forced to concentrate on everything that pains me - the one object four chairs over. Is it a figment of my imagination? Could it possibly be a smile across death’s face? Aversion and undesirable ardor hit me, crashing like a speeding baseball on broken glass. A moment’s abeyance and it’s all breaking down - the fragments of the walls I was trying to keep standing. A sharp edge instead of the much needed stability. I let my mind attempt to decipher what was fictitious and what was realty. Another ache started developing somewhere within the head as opposing forces fought against each other. The eyes were still on me - the eyes that sat four chairs over - the eyes that were tearing me down to reveal the exact simplicity that I didn’t want them to see. I was purposely vision impaired and my lungs were on fire but I couldn’t do anything about it. What was it all turning into? What was I becoming? Surely not the girl who slipped and fell into the ugliest trap…this ugly blasphemy of love. Then before I could compose myself after the thought of the word, ringing filled the atmosphere. Bodies began moving on with in their purposeful lives. The gaze left my shoulders as it left…as he left. I still sit here in the chair four chairs over…If I dared to get it up, would I only have to come back to it again? I took another breath and gazed over…clear and empty, the chair sat. Tears came as I realized the horrible truth… I missed him there. I missed the cause of everything that was killing me. I missed the boy that was four chairs over…