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Self-Reflection -A short story
As I walked down the hall during recess hour, I saw all of the kids on the playground and blacktop. Planning to be back in time before the bell rang, I left the building and thanked the ladies in the main office for the birthday card. I was surprised when they remembered because I’m recently new to the school. I started across the street to a restaurant a little ways, but flickering lights caught my eye in a shop to my left. I wondered what was in it. The shop was fairly small from the outside. The wood door was shut and needed to be replaced. The windows were round and the roof drew up steeply. Shingles were loose, some falling off. The sign in the window indicated the shop was open. My childlike imagination could not help but want to know what was inside.
I changed direction and went to the door. There was no shop name nor address number. Before I reached for the doorknob, the door flung open without hesitation. I gasped and peered around the door from where I stood. No-one in sight, I stepped into the room. The lighting was dim, a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. I noticed dust lined the shelves. They must have not been used in a long time. There were chairs, tables, cabinetry, and strange assorted lampshades. They looked timely and old. A bookshelf with an alcove in the wall was at the back with a small table and bench set. This had to be an antiques store. Yes, yes, I was sure of it. I stepped into the dim space and before I could react, the door shut.
I whirled around to see an old short woman, her frail hand on the door knob. “Why hello there young lady”, she said, “What brings you here today?”.
I hadn’t noticed her before. A little shaken, I stammered, “Hi…I saw this place on my way to lunch…”. I felt uneasy. “I’ll be on my way”, I said. I took a step towards the now closed door.
“No, no, stay! I insist”, cried the old woman. “I have lunch and tea in the back. Join me”. Still hesitant, I followed because I didn’t want to upset her. She reminded me of my Grandma who passed away just two years ago. I went with her to the alcove area in the back of the shop, admiring all the dusty but pretty objects. I now noticed there wasn’t just furniture. There were kitchenware and everyday objects. Suddenly, something caught my eye. It was a jewelry tree bedazzled with necklaces. The old woman noticed I stopped and asked, “See anything you like?”.
Despite all the dull looking items in the room, the jewelry sparkled when the light hit them. “Yes, what's this necklace here? It looks like an animal.”
“She pointed, Oh, that one? I believe it’s an otter”. Of course! I thought, an otter. I taught the 2nd graders about animals and their habitats last week, the otter was one of them.
“Come, come”, she called, “I made sandwiches”. I went with her to the back and sat down on one of the benches. She brought out a plate of sandwiches cut in triangles and a kettle, still steaming. As we ate, she told me stories of sorts, like fairytales she loved to listen to and her opinion on cats and dogs. Maybe she’s lonely and wants to be listened to. So I do, I sit occupying myself with the sandwiches and teacup in my hands. I get a notification on my watch that I need to head back to the school. I wait for her to pause and say I have to get going.
”Wait! Before you leave…” She said slowly, “Why don’t you take that otter necklace? I saw the look on your face, you like it.”
“Really?”
“Mhm, you are so kind, dear. Thank you for staying over for lunch.”
“Thanks! And I’m happy I stayed too”.
I leapt from where I sat and grabbed the necklace on the shelf. I put it around my neck using a small mirror and thanked her again for lunch. Humbled she let me have the pendant for free, I decided I wasn’t going to take it off.
—--------------—
“Get out your vocabulary and spelling words! We are going to play a game”, I instructed. After giving them the rules to the game, the chatter grew loud in the classroom. Kids took turns guessing letters and smiled when they won. Satisfied, I sat down at my desk and started grading last week’s homework packets. Not more than three pages in, I noticed somebody leaving the room without my permission. The hall pass was still there. My students took the hall pass with them no matter what. They know what consequences there are if they don’t take it. Glancing around the classroom, the game in full play, I got up and walked out the door. The hallway before me was empty so I turned the corner. There, to the left I saw a short figure turn another corner. I ran to catch up to them. Faster! My brain urged me on, Faster!! Then at the worst possible moment, I bumped right into the principal of the elementary school.
“Pursuing your dreams? Ms. Lewis?” The principal was a large man to say the least, as I jumped back, his entire front wobbled from the impact. Looking directly in my eyes, he gritted, “I expect more from you”. Startled, I poured out apologies and began to feel tears threatening my eyes.
“I thought one of my stude-”, he cut me off with a glare.
“If I see you outside your class again, you’ll be fired”.
Behind him, I saw two pigtails moving out of view. You are in so much trouble I thought.
Over the next four days I heeded the principal's words. I was not going to get fired, I worked hard for this job. I rubbed at the otter around my neck and focused on the white board. I wrote math equations and asked kids to come up and solve them. “Great job Kate! You can go back to your desk”, I said, moving onto the next problem. In the corner of my vision, the girl with long pigtails came in and out of my view. She had been in my classroom and surprisingly everywhere I went in the school, observing me. I always saw her, it didn’t make any sense, but I was starting to ignore the extra child and get on with teaching. No one else seemed to pay attention to her either. “Matt, can you tell me the answer to 21 minus 8?” My pupil responded, “13!” I wrote 13 next to the equals sign, turned around and stared at the mess made at the back counter. There was paint dripping down the cabinets. I groaned, “Hold on class,” I said calmly, “I’ll be right back. Work on the next five problems by yourself!” I swiftly walked to the counter and saw a paint splattered hand print on the wall with several more leading out the classroom. Furious with this child messing with me, I shouted at her probably walking down the hall. A few students looked back at me with wide eyes. One kid started crying, hands on his face. I went to comfort the boy and the crying got louder. Between the paint spill, the lesson I had to keep teaching, and now the crying boy, I felt overwhelmed and stuck, unsure how to fix the situation.
The setting sun left the autumn air chilly. The principal heard about the situation that happened earlier and fired me, they had another teacher ready to take the job. I just now left the school with my belongings. In front of me, the door flung open. Was she expecting me? I thought of the shop door that opened like it had the first time I came across the shop. The woman knew I was coming to her shop that day, like she knew I was coming this time. She knows something I don’t. “Hello?”, I called. “Are you there?” It became apparent I don’t know her name. I once again stepped into the room.
The wrinkled woman appeared from behind the door, smiled, and stated, “I’ve been expecting you”.
So she had, I thought. “Why?”, I asked.
“You’ll see, hehee”.
“Well listen, I need to talk to you. I think that you or this place has to do with some imaginary things I’m seeing. It wasn’t until I visited here that I’ve been seeing things that aren’t actually there”.
“Oh yes! I know all about that”. But how?!, I wondered and searched my mind. “There’s something you need to see, come quickly!” She took me past the alcove bookshelf area and to a large mirror on the wall.
“What the-”, and there in front of me was my answer. There was a small girl in the reflection. It was the one I was seeing out of the corner of my eye!
“Do you know who that is?” the old woman asked.
“No. Look, I don't have time for this. Why is this-”.
Look closer”, she urged, “That otter necklace is the reason you are seeing things”.
Suddenly I had a memory of me at the lake when I was a child. A face in the water gleamed back at me that day. I had made a mess in our house and was mean to my brothers by blaming it on them and all my mom could do was send me outside. I caused trouble often as a kid, probably because I felt misunderstood. This face in the reflection is my own. That girl was me. She is me! A look in the mirror was all I needed to realize that this is my true self. With this realization, “Oh”, was all I said despite the trouble the illusion caused. Then I smiled.
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A look in the mirror was all I needed to realize that this is my true self.