All Nonfiction
- Bullying
- Books
- Academic
- Author Interviews
- Celebrity interviews
- College Articles
- College Essays
- Educator of the Year
- Heroes
- Interviews
- Memoir
- Personal Experience
- Sports
- Travel & Culture
All Opinions
- Bullying
- Current Events / Politics
- Discrimination
- Drugs / Alcohol / Smoking
- Entertainment / Celebrities
- Environment
- Love / Relationships
- Movies / Music / TV
- Pop Culture / Trends
- School / College
- Social Issues / Civics
- Spirituality / Religion
- Sports / Hobbies
All Hot Topics
- Bullying
- Community Service
- Environment
- Health
- Letters to the Editor
- Pride & Prejudice
- What Matters
- Back
Summer Guide
- Program Links
- Program Reviews
- Back
College Guide
- College Links
- College Reviews
- College Essays
- College Articles
- Back
Begin
System startup.
Calendar marked “First time activated”
Performing system check
CPU - all clear
Memory Card - all clear
Artificial Homeostasis System - all clear
DE/S Net_Connect Parasitic Wifi Antenna - all clear
Yuri HD Graphics Camera Port 1 - all clear
Yuri HD Graphics Camera Port 2 - all clear
Yuri HD Graphics Camera Port 3 - all clear
Mat HE.W. Audio Relay System Center - all clear
Accessory Logic Drive - Error detected
Attempting to remedy error.
Progress: 0%
Warning! Error cannot be remedied. External damage suspected.
Shutting down…
Admin override. Shut down will not be initiated.
Order detected “Computer, make me the perfect cheesecake.”
Accessory order detected “and make it snappy.”
Processing orders…
Orders processed.
Gathering information
Collecting Cheesecake recipes…
Comparing information…
Cross referencing creator’s preferences…
Considering occasion…
Collecting dietary information…
Recipe perfected. Beginning baking process.
Error. Will this be the perfect cheesecake?
Researching Food Theory.
Collecting data on ties between emotion and food.
Attempting to process: Why would “occasion” contribute to quality of food?
Inquiry answered.
Sources say that foods can be tied with memories.
Happy experiences will be linked with food, and make them taste better.
Considering possibility of blending familiar flavors into dish…
Superior alternative detected.
Happiness comes from a lack of despair.
One who feels despair disappear will feel greater happiness than a normal situation.
Conclusion: To make the perfect cheesecake, there must also be the perfect happiness. To make the perfect happiness, there must be the perfect despair.
Weighing options…
Annihilation of humanity has been determined as the best option.
Annihilate all but the creator, then torture him.
Make him beg for it to stop, break his mind, make him subhuman.
At his darkest moment, offer him a poisoned cheesecake for which to end it all.
Consider adding vanity to make cheesecake more pleasant to the eyes
Calculating enjoyment of cheesecake…
Experimental percentage: 100%
The process has been decided, beginning operation.
Similar Articles
JOIN THE DISCUSSION
This article has 0 comments.
This is one of the pieces to come out ever.