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bite marks
I woke up from a terrible nightemare with a severe hurt on the side of my neck. I looked into the mirror after rushing out of bed to find two trails of blood dripping from my neck,and also two bite marks plunged into my neck.All of sudden my head was trobbing with pain and hurt.What was happining to me i tried to ask myself as the pain increased and my body insintly got colder.I tried to crawl back into bed, when i heard a sinister laugh. Iran down the stairs where i heard the laughter comming from and i saw a shadow fly across the wall. I only had one thought it was that i was dreaming.But deep in my mind i knew that i had just got bitten by a monster,A monster wich no one befriends...A vampire and know i knew i was one something i'd feared from birth
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This article has 9 comments.
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Favorite Quote:
"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
Please keep in mind that this is a constructive criticism.
The vocabulary is below average, the punctuation and grammar horrendous, the spelling under par, and your syntax could use a lot of work. Not to mention it is ridiculously short; I mean really, really short. Is it even a page in a word processor?
Then there are little things like word choice and sentence placement. It's not the worst story I've ever read, but it seems like you barely even tried...
I'm not trying to be mean or hurtful, and I'm definately not trying to make you give up on writing, but you need a lot of work, especially with the spelling and grammar.
That being said, vampire stories are a popular niche now-a-days. If you put your mind to it I'm sure you could make a good story.