Missing Identity | Teen Ink

Missing Identity

November 6, 2009
By BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)


Fuzziness surrounded me. I felt numbness pinching at me, taking its grip over my body. I was absolutely still, feeling as though I couldn't move. I wasn't sure I wanted to move. But the numbness was fading now, taken over by a much more urgent pinching. Something was pricking my shattered self, sending shocks of pain up and down my arms, legs, back. I was aware suddenly that I was lying akwardly and curled on the ground, and not forgiving ground either. It was rough and hard and cold, like . . . like rocks. My mind took a while to remember the word. My mind registered something else, then, too. A buzzing. Loud, uneven noises all around me. Panicked. Protective. Scared. I was much more aware of the pain now, it had my entire body from flesh to the center of my bones under its spell, twisted and cruel. My eyes slowly opened. My mouth parted and let out a gasp of hurt and confusion. There were people running all around me, at first seeming slow and blurred, two legs blendig into four. Then images began to clear, and I had a sharper gaze. People, and some animals, ran around me, back and forth with no destination. Colors came next: half the crowd wore black and blue, the others were suited in silver and red. I looked down at myself, and saw more red; wet, shining, and coming out from numerous cuts all over me. But I culdn't look long; the movement of my neck had caused me to become horribly aware of the biting senstation in my head, stabbing to the beat of my heart. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. Bu-bum. It seemed a little too fast. My eyes wandered around me and saw two pairs of running feet, coming right at me. The two were part of the silver and red clan. Then, one was kneeling by my head and the other was standing by my feet, his eyes traveling across my twisted, mangled body.
"Oh God, oh God, are you okay?" The girl by my head's voice was panicky, quick. She had a matured face that was interupted by dark brown freckles to match her glossy hair. I struggled to match her with a name in my mind, but no recognization came.
"Come on, answer me! Please!" her voice was even more distressed now as she brushed a stray lock of hair away from my face I hadn't noticed before. But I could feel it leave a wet trail, and suspison crawled in my stomach as to what it was. More blood. I blinked, and scanned her face again. She didn't look too old, maybe fifteen or sixteen. I opened my mouth to counter her pleas for words with a question:
"Who are you?"
The girl didn't answer for a moment, just stared with her eyes slightly wider and her lips parted. My gaze swiveled to the youth standing by my feet, and I had no name for him either. Apprehenion was biting at me when I relized with sickened dread: I didn't know my name either. I began to breath faster, upsetting the gashes in my skin and anguish. Who am I?
"Don't- don't you remember me?" the girl asked lightly, voice trembling.
"I told you something like this would happen. I told you-"
"That doesn't help!" the girl snapped at the boy. The youth staning by my legs opened his mouth to talk again, but never got the chance. A flash of silver and a bit of stirred wind: A thrown spear lay three inches from my head, right in between me and the girl.
"We have to get her out of here," the girl insisted urgently, "Now." She went behind me and grabbed under my arms, and I let out a sound something between a cry and a gasp.
"Iknow it hurts," she said soothingly, "But you have to leave now or your going to hurt a lot more."
So saying, she nodded to the boy and he grabbed my legs, my feet hooked under his shoulders. They started to carry me me in a quick but sustained way, as though trying not to jostle me. It didn't work. My bones felt like they were moving, stabbing my body from the inside out. I could tell I was still bleeding badly, and crimson had already soaked me. I wondered how much blood I had left to shed. Their walk was faster now and I gritted my teeth rather then let loose a gasp. But I felt past that now; it felt more like I needed to scream. Scream and scream until it matched the volume of my pain, of the sharb jabs and rough stabs. I wished I was numb again, with my eyes closed and everything fuzzy. But no. I had wakened into pain and confusion and something missing more then blood: Memory.


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This article has 29 comments.


on Dec. 20 2009 at 3:55 am
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Part two is done, but it's not as good as the first because I had to rewrite it THREE TIMES 'cause my computer kept crashing!

on Dec. 16 2009 at 6:55 pm
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
27 articles 0 photos 266 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up is not a part of my vocabulary."
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Truth be told I miss ya, truth be told I'm lying."

awesome. cant wait 2 read it. lemme kno wen its done plz :)

on Dec. 15 2009 at 7:41 pm
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Thanks so much for your comment!

on Dec. 15 2009 at 7:41 pm
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Thanks so much, it's really nice to hear you enjoyed it. I'm working on continuing it, part 2 is up.

on Dec. 15 2009 at 7:40 pm
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Thank you so much! There's a part 2 so far for the story, I'm working on a third right now. I'm glad you liked it!

on Dec. 14 2009 at 3:03 pm
sasssgirrrl22 PLATINUM, Pearl River, New York
27 articles 0 photos 266 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Giving up is not a part of my vocabulary."
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."
"Truth be told I miss ya, truth be told I'm lying."

very intense story. i couldnt stop reading it! ur an awesome writer!

on Dec. 8 2009 at 3:57 pm
dragonfan SILVER, Arcidia, Indiana
9 articles 1 photo 213 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Death truly makes an artist"

i agree, with Kay4theRoses 2 this is amazing i loved it =)

Kay4theRoses said...
on Dec. 5 2009 at 1:57 pm
Kay4theRoses, O&#39brien, Florida
0 articles 0 photos 75 comments

Favorite Quote:
"all's fair in love and war." And "Beware of a fat man whose belly doesn't jiggle when he laughs."-A Chinese philosopher. =)

the story kept me intrigued the whole way through, u should continue it, its something i'd read.

evie428 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 4 2009 at 2:56 pm
evie428 BRONZE, Ontario, Other
4 articles 1 photo 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Writing a novel is not merely going on a shopping expedition across the border to an unreal land: it is hours and years spent in the factories, the streets, the cathedrals of the imagination."

Wow . . . intense! I love your writing, but I didn't understand what was going on. What happened to him? Continue this! Good job!

Also just a few spelling and grammatical errors . . . . ;)