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A Zombie Love Ballad
The day was bright and full of life; the day was perfect, and brimming with screams. Balloons rose, and picnics were lying in parks, while chills, thrills, and kills filled the streets. Blood splattered in stores, and body bags danced with enthusiasm. Today was the day of the zombie apocalypse, and everyone was ecstatic.
On the far side of Central Park, next to a large pond, Robert Finnegan’s rotting corpse lumbered across the grass as people screamed and ran all around him. On the other side of the large pond, Maria Gambaro’s bloody corpse shuffled across the green grass while blood bubbled out of her mouth and splattered onto her white dress. The two, little did either of them know were entwined by destiny, a destiny of true love.
Both of them moaned and snarled as they shambled across the lawn towards an old man that had tripped and fallen to his doom. Robert and Maria’s corpses fell to the ground atop the man and started to devour his flesh as he screamed, eyes bulging and all.
Both of them reached for his cranium at the same time, and out of all probability, they noticed each other at the same moment. If their cheeks were still pumping with blood, they would have blushed, but, instead they ‘urrreeerred’ at each other, then reached out with their hands and shook them at each other as they tried to touch their hands together.
Robert’s body stopped, cracked open the old man’s skull and reached inside, with a sloppy mushy sound he pulled out a handful of brains and handed it to Maria’s mouth. In gratitude, Maria gobbled the squishy white brains off of his hand, even taking part of his middle finger with her.
‘Naaraaagh’ he said in embarrassment, but, she bent over and slobbered on his cheek. With that, the two shakily stood and fell on each other as they slobbered across their mouths in love and worship.
In the pond next to them, several zombies clapped while various ligaments hung from their mouths. It was a happy time for all of everyone that was not living, zombies smiled and people screamed.
Throughout the day they walked together and moaned their life stories. They took strolls through the parks, broke into fortified stores and devoured brains, joined massive gatherings of fellow zombies and even raided an apartment building.
Just as fast as the day of the zombie apocalypse started, it ended. Soon night fell within New York, and the chilling screams filled the dark alleyways. Our loving couple decided to go out for dinner this night, so they went to a lovely place called Mario’s Famous Italian Restaurant. The main course was Mario.
It was a fantastic dinner, filled with warm gushy entrails, slurpy things, and even some of the most appetizing Italian brains either of them had ever had. Love was In the air as they ate Mario, screams filled the background noise of fires and explosions. This was a starlit light of love and wonder.
They said their ‘ewwwes’ and departed their separate ways, never to sleep again. It was a hard night being away from each other, but in the end, they lived with it.
The next morning they met in Times Square where a massive zombie battle was taking place, the zombies were winning. Amongst blood curdling screams, Robert’s bloody body fell to one knee, and lifted someone’s finger up to Maria’s corpse. A diamond ring was around it. Maria said ‘ewrrrugh.’
Through the entire day they enjoyed life, or rather, enjoyed taking it and eating brains. Screams were plentiful, and moans were abundant. They did everything together with love, and happiness.
It was in the late afternoon that they forced entry into an exquisite wedding alter. It was white, and glowing with splendor. They spread fresh blood everywhere and stacked bodies onto the buffet table. Everyone who heard the cries and groans were invited to join, and they did.
The wedding was spectacularly horrific. They did their ‘Irgh urghes’ and bound themselves forever more with a yellowy puss filled kiss, their bodies were decomposing faster and faster.
After the wedding they went on their honeymoon, they visited sunny Miami, and ate a few hundred people before coming back to the now burning New York. Their love was stronger than ever before.
After a few weeks of killing and slaughtering, their time came to an end. It was inevitable, their bodies were decomposing like crazy, and parts were just rotting right off. But, that was not how they died.
In the middle of August, the United States Military decided to perform saturation bombing, or in other words, bomb the hell out of New York.
As the sun set that day, Robert and Maria’s rotting corpses were drinking blood martinis at the top of the Empire State Building. They looked at each other one more time and smiled before the bomb began to fall.
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