The Fall entry 1 | Teen Ink

The Fall entry 1

March 31, 2010
By THEIMPACT77 BRONZE, Florence, Kentucky
THEIMPACT77 BRONZE, Florence, Kentucky
4 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:

Nov 6, 2062

I just found this notebook amidst of all the rubble. I never thought about keeping a journal until now. An old friend told me I should, so if anyone was still alive they would know our struggle. Maybe I should start with who I am. My name is Shane and I am 16. I have good looks that any girl would fall for and I’m stronger than anyone I’ve met (not really). I have brown hair and green eyes. Yeah I know, it’s a weird combination but you can’t blame me, I was born with it. I am 5’11 and kind of well built. I live in a settlement called Hope. Hope is a place where anybody can feel safe. It’s a place where people work together for the greater good.

It’s also a place for the Terran Rebellion. We all have a job at Hope. We all do a ‘civilian’ job than we have a ‘military’ job. I am a Runner. A Runner is basically a scout. We go out to find survivors and bring them back to Hope. We also go ahead of the scavenging groups to make sure that there are no Orbs, raiders, or Goblins. If we do we see if there is an alternate route. If there aren’t we engage the enemy. I said we were scouts but we carry enough equipment to take out a tank. The Orbs are the hardest to take down. We usually shoot them down with RPGs or FMG-148 Javelin missile launcher. For raiders we take them out with M40A1 Sniper Rifles. And for goblins we use swords.
Yup after the invasion, a lot of these “goblins” came out from underground and started terrorizing the near dead humanity. These things are usually 6’0 tall, red skinned, and one eye. Oh, they also have mouths in their hands. I once saw two of them strip a cow of all its meat in two minutes. Then I got out of dodge before they saw me. The Orbs are basically what their name implies. Huge, floating, spheres that can shoot lasers. Oh yeah I said it, they can shoot lasers. Cool right? Wrong. These things invaded Terra so they could harvest our minds to make more of their kind. The weird thing was we knew that they were coming. We had a warning from an alien. We, for some reason, didn’t listen. Well look where that got us. Well I got to go. They are calling me to H.Q... I will write more tomorrow.

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This article has 5 comments.

-Ash- SILVER said...
on Feb. 1 2012 at 1:20 am
-Ash- SILVER, Redmond, Washington
7 articles 4 photos 49 comments

Favorite Quote:
She wants to die. She wants to disappear, to be remembered no more. She wants so terribly to be forgotten, all her mistakes, all her failures, everything. Her name to be wiped free from all record of existence. Because is it really existing when you’ve got nothing to show for your life?

very original! although he seems a bit perfect, but other than that very interesting!

on Apr. 19 2011 at 9:33 am
Beachgirl1 PLATINUM, Bellevue, Washington
32 articles 4 photos 178 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If You Don't Fight Back, You've Already Lost."
"Don't suppress Laughter, it goes to your thighs."

very intresting. i like all the different characters and it makes you want to read the next reading to see the backround story. good job. science fiction is hard to write :) 

Annerdy BRONZE said...
on Jan. 24 2011 at 6:30 pm
Annerdy BRONZE, San Francisco, California
3 articles 0 photos 52 comments

I was totally impressed with the originality of the storyline. Most people I know aren't interested in writing science fiction so props to you. :] I like the personal comments that Shane jots down but I don't like how he seems like one of those perfect main characters with absolutely no flaws. It's the way he describes himself- like there are no internal conflicts because he's so sure of his cocky self (unless he was supposed to be cocky). Usually what makes a story good is not just the change that takes place through the series of events (struggle with Orbs, goblins, etc.) but also something that causes the main character to change the way he thinks of himself, ya know? o: I wish you described more about the setting so we could all imagine what Hope looks like. Some of your grammar and punctuation is just a teeny bit off, but that could easily be fixed so I'm not too concerned. I also think it would help if you added more details about the past, the other jobs at Hope, etc. Then again, this is the first journal entry so I shouldn't be expecting too much. 

Overall, your storyline has got me hooked. (: Keep working on it and I'm sure you'll only get better.

on Dec. 31 2010 at 7:09 am
Raven_Mi BRONZE,
1 article 0 photos 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
K.I.S.S.- Keep. It. Simple. Stupid

i lv it, it really has a personal touch and the weird creatures r sooooo amazing

on Apr. 21 2010 at 4:30 pm
xEmmiiix BRONZE, East Meadow, New York
2 articles 0 photos 35 comments
I lOVE IT. All the fantasy creatures are so cool. What's next, Ghosts, Dragons, Demons. Please, please, please write more i so want to read more. Oh, thanks for the comment on my fan fiction.