Another Angel (Prologue) | Teen Ink

Another Angel (Prologue)

April 26, 2010
By whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments

Fifteen years earlier

It was a stormy night in New York City, and most people where at home with their families discussing the day. The people who were outside were rushing home and didn’t notice a young woman with a bundle in her arms. The woman had wavy blonde hair, and light blue eyes. She was sitting on the curb talking to the bundle. As it began to rain harder more people went inside, but the young woman stayed on the curb, talking to the bundle. Soon the bundle began to wail and the young woman stood up so suddenly that she almost ran into a businessman. “Hey! Watch it!” the man said.

“Sorry.” The woman mumbled, then sat back down rocking and talking to the bundle, who’s wailing had receded into a faint whimper. “Don’t worry, I’ll find a safe home for you, they will never find you.” She jumped when she felt a tap on her shoulder; it was a woman, not much older than her. She looked concerned.
“Do you need a place to stay? You and your baby can stay with me.” The young woman looked at her eyes. She had brown eyes. Brown eyes were good. Brown eyes were safe. They were human. “Honey, did you hear me? Are you okay?”
The bundle started to wail, yet again, and the woman held it out to the friendly stranger, “I don’t need a place to stay, but my daughter does.”
The stranger silently took the baby girl from the woman and cradled her, “Have you named her?” she asked softly.
“Yes, her name is Serissa Dare.” The young woman stood up and walked away.

The author's comments:
I have been working on this for a while...let me know if you want more posted : )

Similar Articles


This article has 9 comments.

charmiypiggy said...
on Feb. 10 2011 at 2:52 am
charmiypiggy, Melbourne, Other
0 articles 0 photos 116 comments

Favorite Quote:
You eat food for the enjoyment of it; the fact that it helps you stay alive is just a bonus.

This sounds interesting, and I would definitely like to read more. However, there are a couple of mistakes int here that could be corrected. Also, I recommend that you follow iDogcrocker's advice. If you would like me to edit this piece as well, please let me know. 

iDogrocker said...
on Jul. 17 2010 at 5:28 pm
iDogrocker, Lebanon, Oregon
0 articles 0 photos 78 comments
I'd love to see more about this. My only recommendation for you is to really focus on showing, not telling. For instance, when you talk about the woman's wavy blonde hair and light blue eyes, you're telling the reader what your character looks like. Let them imagine by their own by doing something like this: The street lamps made her hair shine gold, and glinted off of the icy, but kind eyes. You're not telling what she looks like, but the reader gets it anyway. 

on Jul. 4 2010 at 1:45 am
lifeisajourney GOLD, Coronado, California
18 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life is a journey not a destination..."
"Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see life in a clearer view again."
"Only those who will go too far, can possibly find out how far one can go"

this is really good

burnt-toast said...
on May. 31 2010 at 4:29 pm
I really really enjoyed this, I definitly want to know what's going on... I'm so intrigued! If this was a full length novel Im pretty sure i'd sit down and read it... good job.

burnt-toast said...
on May. 31 2010 at 4:23 pm
i loved this, please post more! i'm so intrigued.. I need to know whats going on :) hell, if this was a full length novel i'm pretty sure i'd sit down and read it!

on May. 23 2010 at 7:04 pm
sunnyhunny PLATINUM, Litchfield, New Hampshire
22 articles 3 photos 329 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

I want to read more!  Let me know if you post anyhting else, please!

on May. 18 2010 at 6:46 pm
shayna101 SILVER, Carlsbad, California
5 articles 0 photos 35 comments
this is soo good!! i cant wait to read more of it

on May. 11 2010 at 5:04 pm
whatshername GOLD, Carlsbad, California
14 articles 1 photo 112 comments

thanx...i will


jessi GOLD said...
on May. 11 2010 at 2:08 pm
jessi GOLD, Nunya, Florida
15 articles 4 photos 115 comments

Favorite Quote:
"When injustice becomes law, rebellion becomes duty."

YES! please post more! whats up with the "brown eyes" being human? also, why does this woman take teh baby with no questions asked? post more please!! =)