The Cloud Girl | Teen Ink

The Cloud Girl

April 21, 2010
By lucky7 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
lucky7 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life sucks, but you're doing just fine." (:


Her love of the rain plastered her face on a cloud. She sobbed rain drops, and her nose dripped snowflakes. Beauty was jumping to its death on the ground she used to live. Below people called for her, but her smile had not stayed with her. Replaced by a cloud. Her eyes turning green to gray as she watched life without her. It played before the girl in the cloud. The sky above her parted and the sun melted the snow within her. Falling with what was once a part of her, she landed on the ground. The melted snow and rain lay heavy on her eyelashes and kissed her back. With each mile she walks, she dries.



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This article has 7 comments.


on May. 19 2010 at 9:52 pm
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Your most welcome!  :)  I'm glad peeps other then me reply, I'm glad you get it too!  ;)

-Rose


lucky7 SILVER said...
on May. 15 2010 at 1:22 pm
lucky7 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life sucks, but you're doing just fine." (:

Wow, thank you! Your comments really do mean a lot to me! It is so nice to be critiqued by other young writers. And I hope that by replying I show you how much I appreciate the time you took to comment! Thank you so much(:

lucky7 SILVER said...
on May. 15 2010 at 1:21 pm
lucky7 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life sucks, but you're doing just fine." (:

Thank you jonas_chick899! I really appreciate your feedback thank you for taking the time to read my work(:

on May. 14 2010 at 10:59 pm
HeatherBee BRONZE, I Live In, Texas
1 article 0 photos 1979 comments

Favorite Quote:
Go on and try to tear me down. I will be rising from the ground, like a skyscraper

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

yayy i loved it!!!!! awesome word choice!!

on May. 14 2010 at 10:46 am
BleedingRose PLATINUM, Frederic, Wisconsin
33 articles 1 photo 378 comments

Favorite Quote:
*The darkness holds infinite possibilities.

(mine)

Absolutely luv it!  Beautifully written, wonderfull wordplay, and your style is very unique!  I like how you respond to comments, hardly anyone does that!  Keep writing.  :)

-Rose


lucky7 SILVER said...
on May. 13 2010 at 11:02 am
lucky7 SILVER, Aurora, Colorado
5 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life sucks, but you're doing just fine." (:

Thank you! I know it is pretty hard to follow, it is really just about a girl overcoming depression. Thank you so much for you feedback!

on May. 13 2010 at 7:22 am
.Escape.From.This.Afterlife. GOLD, Short Hills, New Jersey
10 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
"bad blood is more satisfying to spill across the floor..."

I really like your writing style, though I found this a little bit difficult to follow.  But once I caught up, I really enjoyed it.  Nice job!