Sun Set | Teen Ink

Sun Set

May 16, 2010
By JocelynnTaylor GOLD, Templeton, Pennsylvania
JocelynnTaylor GOLD, Templeton, Pennsylvania
10 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am a writer, and so I write.<br /> I am a thinker, and so I think.<br /> I am a human, and so I have human thoughts and feelings.


Kilynn walked into the general store to get a pack of Coke. Little did she know is that she will never need that sort of food and drink again.

Kilynn woke up with a start she had the dream, again. The dream of falling into darkness and never getting out.

She heard a thump on the floor below, like a body falling over. She began to think in first person again.

I hope it is just mom, I thought, just mom up to get a drink. But however hard I tried it wouldn't work so I got up and went to the door.

"Mom, mom is that you." I yelled. I heard another body drop. Now there was a sound of feet scurrying over the hard wood floor. Running up the stairs. As if to protect myself I shut the door and locked it. But I knew that it wouldn't stop what was coming.

It burst open the locked door. I should have screamed but I wasn't scared I was calm oddly. I knew it was like the dream. That I would live forever off of blood and animals souls. I miss you mom, dad, katrina, matt. I will miss you all.

He had purple-black eyes and they saw everything. He searched my face and sighed. "Kilynn, Kilynn." He sighed my name. "Kilynn, my soulmate, my friend, my lover. I have found you." He looked at me and I was astonished. What is a soulmate??? I didn't know him how could I be his friend, LOVER??? I don't even know your name buddy.

"Umm. Can I help you with something. I don't know your name. By the way how do you know my name?" I said it in almost a whisper. Then I shook my head. I was talking to a stranger. Worse a very strange stranger.

He looked at me then took a weak step back. "Kilynn," He said again it raining off his lips. "Kilynn, I am so sorry. I wish I could explain bu tfor now you have to come with me hurry pack your bags." He said quickly rushed. "By the way the name is Kade." He smiled.

I recoiled as if I had been slapped in the face. "No you are not sorry. Or else you would explain. I am not packing for anything especially not for a guy that came to my house and killed my family." I spit it in his face.

He cowered at my anger. Then I saw a sense in his eyes. Utter revoltion. "I would never harm you or your family. I got here a minute ago. I ran up the stairs with such speed. But I could smell a werewolf. She might have killed them. I figured someone else had changed you. Like a rougue vampire, like myself." He smiled. It was a devilish smile and it scared me. All of a sudden I feel asleep. Yes it was an awkward time but I think I just fainted. Everything was black, no blue, no green, no violet. It was a rainbow bbehind my eyes. But I knew when I got up he would be there. Kade. A rogue vampire. The one that would kill me.


The author's comments:
Hey guys I hope you like this one. All of my friends and I like it. So I hope you'll comment and rate it please!

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on May. 31 2010 at 10:00 am
JocelynnTaylor GOLD, Templeton, Pennsylvania
10 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
I am a writer, and so I write.<br /> I am a thinker, and so I think.<br /> I am a human, and so I have human thoughts and feelings.

Thanks!!! It means a lot to me!!!

on May. 31 2010 at 7:43 am
NeverCaredForKool-Aid GOLD, Elkridge, Maryland
13 articles 0 photos 531 comments

Favorite Quote:
I don&#039;t believe in hell but I believe in my parent&#039;s couch-- Watsky

I'm loving where the story line is going, in the second half of the piece I can really tell this is your own story and you're in the driver's seat while writing this.  In the first half, though, I felt like there was some minor clique-ing going on, (2nd sentance.)  It's sort of hard to believe that she could tell, just by hearing that is was bodies dropping.  Although, I did love your line, "She bagan to think in first person again"- I have trouble with tenses and person's ALL THE TIME when I write- wish I had though of something like that!

Anyway- there were some minor grammar mistakes, but what's a slip-of-the-finger, right?  Great job, look forward to reading more!