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Santa's murder mystery
Act 1-Scene 1:
(Santa is on stage with Vixen and Donner)
Santa: Thank you Vixen and Donner. It looks like we’ve had another successful Christmas. In fact, I think we may have done it a little quicker this year!
Donner: (chuckling) Oh Santa, everyone knows we get quicker every year.
Vixen: Except for the year Prancer broke his leg. Was it Christmas of 1969?
Donner: No I think your getting mixed up with Christmas of 1972. Remember when Comet tried hibernating? He was so stuffed up with Thanksgiving mashed potatoes that we couldn’t even get him off the ground.
Santa: None the less, I always have a blast every year! But I’m afraid I’m getting a bit old for this job. Retirement may come my way any minute.
(Buddy, Bucky, and Nurse walk on stage)
Buddy: Joey, the cook, thought you could use some of this. (hands Santa a cookie and a glass of milk)
Nurse: I’m pretty sure Santa has had plenty of cookies today. Almost every child in the world bakes cookies for Santa.
Bucky: Actually, the reindeer get most of the sweets before Santa can get to them.
Santa: Very true. Besides, Father Christmas can always use another cookie from the cook. I’m thinking that I should take up hibernating.
Nurse: Go ahead and knock yourself out, old man. It’s a good thing you’re not allergic to gluten, but he has been having problems with bronchitis.
Santa: Nothing my super immune, immune system can’t handle.
Vixen: (unsure) OK, but let’s just hope you don’t have a severe cough attack. That’s the last thing you need.
Donner: I agree. But what’s the problem with a cookie.
Nurse: And don’t forget the milk! It’s two in the morning. Us elves and reindeer need to get to bed. We are going to start working on toys early in the morning.
Vixen: And us reindeer need to train the new incoming rookies. If any reindeer gets sick, we could always use one of the amateurs.
Santa: Goodnight! (Buddy, Nurse, Vixen, and Donner walk off stage. Santa takes a bite of his cookie and a sip of his milk. He coughs dramatically and collapses to the floor. Nurse, Bucky and Buddy walk on stage)
Nurse: Buddy what did you do?!
Buddy: Hey! It wasn’t me. (grabs Santa’s arm) He has no pulse!
Nurse: (calls off stage) Doctor, are you awake? It’s an emergency! (Doctor Alabaster walks on stage yawning)
Alabaster: What is it now? You’re a nurse you can probably handle it.
Bucky: Santa has no pulse! He needs medical attention!
Alabaster: (awake now) OK, we need to get him to the infirmary. And fast!
Act 1-Scene 2:
(Scene changes to the doctor’s office. Santa lays dead on a hospital bed. Alabaster is pacing back and forth. Nurse Icicle walks in)
Nurse: Doctor, I don’t mean to bother you, but people are crowding up the front door. They want to know how Santa is.
Alabaster: (looking down) I’m afraid to say that Santa is dead. He had a heart attack from too much coughing. He’s laying on his bed now.
Nurse: (gasps) Jiminy Cricket! Do you know how it happened?
Alabaster: Not quite, but I have a feeling the milk or cookie he was holding had something to do with it. Santa had a super immune, immune system, so he wouldn’t get a heart attack all of a sudden. The only time he ever got sick was when he had bronchitis. I have a feeling the cough attack he had must have led to a heart attack.
Nurse: (confused)I don’t follow you…
Alabaster: Never mind, I believe Santa was murdered. The whole North Pole won’t sleep until we find out who did it.
Nurse: If we set up a case with Judge Frosty well settle this case in no time!
Alabaster: (excited) Of course! Why didn’t I think of that before?
Nurse: Because you…
Alabaster: The question was rhetorical. Anyway, there is no way Judge Frosty will say no to us! We have a good case on our hands. Let’s go to his office.
Nurse: Right behind you! (run off stage. Scene changes to Judge Frosty’s office. Frosty is sitting down on a chair. Nurse and Alabaster are on stage with him)
Judge: Well I don’t know. I still am backed up on cases…and I have Buddy’s case in an hour. He keeps stealing my cookies. Get your own ya loser!
Alabaster: (irritated) Judge this is serious! Santa has been murdered, and we don’t know who the murderer is!
Judge: Big deal! At least the old fatso had all the cookies for himself!
Nurse: (desperate) Judge! All we are asking is for a jury case! Please!
Judge: (annoyed) Forget it! It was probably was Joey the Cook. Just punish him.
Alabaster: Judge isn’t that what a trial is for? To find out if someone did the crime?Judge: (jumps up) You’re right. We’ll have a trial first thing tomorrow!
Nurse: (unsure) Tomorrow?!
Judge: Yes and recruit the reindeer to be the jury. After all, they don’t have much to do…make sure there are at least seven jurors
Alabaster: What about lawyers?
Judge: Oh they’re no big deal. Halve the elves went to law school, but they couldn’t pay to finish it. That’s why they worked for Santa!
Alabaster: What are you talking about? We don’t get paid!
Judge: (begins to shove Alabaster and Nurse off stage) What are you doing asking questions? Get preparations made for tomorrow.
Nurse: I’m pretty the jurors will be thrilled to be here tomorrow. Who knows we may have more than seven! (run off stage)