It’s funny how when it rains the sky is at its most beautiful. A lovely dark color complemented by swirling grey clouds. The most beautiful thing I have ever seen is the sky when it rains. Rain seems to me like teardrops coming from gods eyes himself. Crying from the heavens to mourn for his creations lost to him. And when your eyes are too sore to cry anymore God sends down his own tears from heaven to cry for you. At least that’s what I think.
I was alone in the living room of my apartment when I decided to do it. I had been contemplating it for a couple months, and I didn’t think I could stand it anymore. I had nothing left for me in this place. No family I knew of and no friends to miss me. My parents had died years ago, and I was an only child. Since then all I really had were my friends, but they were all gone from this little town, off to live out their big dreams in bigger places. I had no money to get out of here, so here I was stuck just like I always thought I would be. You see if I was gone no one would miss me, I might as well do it.

With my mind made up I gathered up everything I held dear to me. I had only two things in my hands my picture of my parents and the strangest thing, an old picture of a crow. The crow was my favorite animal, always characterized as misunderstood, similar to me. I found it on the road one day on my way home from elementary school and picked it up. I had had it ever since.
My second item, a picture of my parents, was one of my most prized possessions. It was the only thing I had of them. The fire that stole their lives had also taken the pictures with it. It was a family photo they had taken of us on my tenth birthday. We were all smiling with wide cheesy grins. They had always been the type of parents that had pictures of their kid all over the walls, it was a tradition to take a family photo every year on my birthday.
I had finally reached the door to the roof of my apartment. Walking up while looking at the old photos. As I stepped out onto the roof my heartbeat quickened. This was it. I was finally going to end it and it filled me with a sense of foreboding. Did I really want to end my life? My mother had always said if you take your own life you go to hell, for it is a coward’s way to die. I didn’t want to go to anywhere but where my parents were, but maybe if when I reached the gates and before I was cast down, I could beg and plead. If what people say is true and he is a merciful God then maybe, just maybe I can stay with my parents. I take a deep breath and step up onto the ledge. My heart beating out of my chest as I do so and my breath puffing out in front of me turning white with the cold. Standing on top of the ledge the world seemed silenced. I looked down at my hands in my right hand was the picture of my parents and in my left was the picture of the crow. I brought them both to my face and placed a kiss on each picture. I could hear nothing but the sound of my heart beating loud in my ears. I took a deep breath and jumped.
For a moment all was fine. I felt peace knowing I would soon be with my parents who loved me. I would soon have a purpose. Then my stomach dropped. I saw how far above the ground I was and registered how fast I was moving. And in that moment I realized I didn’t want die yet. I might not have a reason to be here, but I knew if I hit that ground I would be gone from this world forever. I would never be able to experience the good things of life again.
‘What I have done, I thought to myself
I desperately wanted to rewind the last few seconds and be on top of my apartment again. I wanted to be back in my apartment and not here out in the cold. I wished I could be curled up on my couch with some hot cocoa and a warm blanket. I knew I would never do experience it again. I did the only thing I could think of in that second, I prayed. I prayed to God over and over again.
Please, please help me! Help me out of this situation
I prayed. I prayed to anyone and everyone I had ever known that had passed away in the hopes that they could tell God that I was in need of help. That I had made a stupid mistake and I wanted out. All of this had taken only a few seconds in my brain, and I was closer to the ground than I thought. I was starting to panic now, praying with all my might. In the midst of this all happening I had a stray thought.
If only I could fly like the crow in the photo.
I had the photo still clutched tightly in my hand. A death grip, the last thing my hand would ever hold. I knew it was in vain and it sounded crazy but I wished with all my might.
Crow if you can hear me. Help me. Help me somehow I wished over and over. At this point I was almost to the ground. I knew I wouldn’t be saved. I closed my eyes and gave myself to the wind. In that moment that I finally surrendered, something weird happened. I felt a strange burning building right below my shoulder blades and in my spine. Then suddenly the world exploded. I started lifting from my fast descendent to the ground. A heavy weight was anchored on my back and something black flickered in the edge of my vision. I turned my head slightly and gasped in shock. Attached to my back were two big black wings bearing shocking resemblance to the wings of my crow. A sudden jolt shook me out of my thought and I realized I was no longer falling. I was flying through the air without realizing it. I knew that my prayers had been answered I had been given another chance to live again.