The Vagabond Chapter 1: Fish | Teen Ink

The Vagabond Chapter 1: Fish

April 6, 2014
By uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

It tingled. Everywhere it tingled. It hurt at first, but it was a good hurt. A familiar hurt. I could feel my body changing, rearranging itself. My face being pulled and stretched. Hair growing longer and thicker. Then came the light. It engulfed me like flames, swallowed me whole like a giant white mouth. I shook my foggy head and rubbed my eyes. The light was gone, replaced by a futuristic city buzzing with people.

I blinked and rubbed my stinging eyes. My least favorite part, the new eyes. Hurt like crazy for the first five to ten minutes. I slowly slid my hands down my face.
“Shave,” I thought aloud. “I need to shave. I don't own a razor thoulp!” I gulped through the last word, getting used to my new mouth and voice. I twitched as I felt my chin. “A butt chin. Again.” I sighed. I looked down at my arms and legs to make sure they were attached properly. The white lab coat that I wore used to be down to my knees. Now it was around my ankles and my supposed skinny jeans were sagging loosely below my waist. “Great. Shorter and thinner,” I grumbled as I tightened my belt and rolled up my pant legs. I ran my fingers through my hair. It was long, the ends curling around my neck. My stomach growled loudly. I felt the blood rush from my face. I dashed down the nearest street that I could find, trying to escape the busy city. I stopped to catch my breath against an old broken stop sign and slowly slid to the ground. “I'm gonna hurl. I knew I shouldn’t have eaten all of that fish before I left! New stomach.” I babbled, putting my head between my knees. I heaved. I gasped for breath, smelly vomit dribbling from my lips. I heaved again, throwing up all the fish that wouldn’t fit inside my new body.
“Are you okay?” I looked up and saw a pretty young women with light brown hair staring at me.
Looking up at the pretty brunette, I grinned sloppily. “Time travel. Always does this.” She frowned at me disapprovingly. “ By the way, what year is it? I think I set it for 2014, but I was in such a hurry I might have got the date wrong.”
“Would you like me to take you to a hospital or something?”
I shook my head. “No. This should all blow over soon. I just need to get out all the stuff that wont fit inside. Do you have any clothes I could borrow though? Oh! And a razor?”

The author's comments:
This is the first chapter of a novel that I'm writing. I hope you like it, and sorry if the first chapter doesn't make a lot of sense. It will all be explained in chapter two and three. Please comment and tell me wht you like/dislike about it and why!

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This article has 23 comments.

on Apr. 25 2014 at 12:33 pm
Kestrel135 PLATINUM, Waterford, Connecticut
43 articles 0 photos 256 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Respect existence or expect resistance"

This was a good article, and behold the timelord! This is a great way to start a fanfiction, and so far the story is pretty good. I do agree  that the description is a bit vague, but if you touch a little more on the setting and the world around him aside from who he is becoming, it would help a little. Really, though it didn't take too much away from the piece. The 'thinking aloud' seemed questionable at first, but if you hold that throughout his whole character it will become one of those quirky traits we admire in characters. On a whole, good job, and keep writing! 

on Apr. 21 2014 at 6:54 pm
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Thank you! You're comment means alot! I will take what you say in consideration. I did make the enviroment a bit vague for a reason though. And the smell of vomit. I will try to make the seconed chapter better!

Skiman GOLD said...
on Apr. 21 2014 at 11:24 am
Skiman GOLD, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
13 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
"There is a time and a place for everything." - Professor Oak

I really like this concept, I want to read more. I think that the environment a little bit more as that was only touched on briefly. Also the smell of the vomit was a bit vague. Other than that, this book sounds awesome.