The Tale of Sir Benedict
Long ago in the time of King Arthur, there lived a knight named Sir Benedict. Sir Benedict was one of the only two knights from Oxford, the other being his brother, Sir Hans. The population of Oxford was very proud to have two knights, though they showed absolute favoritism. Sir Hans, they believed, was the much better knight. After all, Hans was handsome, while Benedict had a face like a pug. Hans had beautiful, flowing brown hair, while Benedict was as bald as an egg. Plus, when the two knights left to battle the dragon of Warwick, Hans had returned holding the beasts’ head in the air, while Benedict appeared to have clumsily stabbed himself in the foot with his own sword. So in the city of Oxford, Hans was treated as royalty while Benedict was forgotten and lived alone in a tiny dirt hovel.
One day, a messenger carrying a letter from King Arthur arrived at Oxford. The letter said that a serpentine beast had kidnapped a fair maiden. Apparently, a prophecy had been made that said that the only person capable of saving the maiden was a knight of Oxford. The citizens of Oxford swelled with joy, for they knew that their famous knight wouldn’t fail them. Sir Hans agreed to go on the quest, but only on one condition. He wanted Sir Benedict to go with him. The people were confused, why would a glorious knight like Hans want somebody like Benedict to go with him on a quest? Nonetheless, the message was delivered to Sir Benedict who immediately grabbed his armor and met Hans at the entrance to the city. The two rode off together, though the citizens knew that only the better knight would return.
The two knights rode for many days until they reached the monster’s lair. It was a huge circular pit, about 10 feet deep and 80 feet in diameter, which had a cave on the other side. The two knights slid fearlessly down the slope into the pit, and proceeded toward the cave. Once inside, they realized that the cave wasn’t a complicated network of tunnels, but one giant room. Right in the center of the room was the snake-like creature, which was at least 60 feet long. It had a thick, scaly, basilisk body which lead to the head. Where a normal snake head should have been there was instead five of them, all of which had long pointy teeth. The creature also had two ginormous bear paws as hands. The fair maiden was clutched in the right. The monster was evidently sleeping, for its slit-like eyes were closed and it was laying on its back. The maiden, however, was wide awake. While the creature slept, she frantically tried to pry herself from its death grip. When she saw the knights, she gave a yelp of joy. The duo tried to shush her, but it was too late. The creature had woken up.
With the speed of a cheetah it lunged at them. Benedict dived on the ground to dodge the blow, but Hans wasn’t so lucky. The creature’s deadly paw caught him on the chest and sent him flying backwards into the opposite wall. Hans slid from the wall to the ground, clearly unconscious. Benedict drew his sword right as the beast turned around and lunged again. Once more Benedict ducked, but this time he stuck his sword up in the air. It caught the creature’s underbelly, cutting right through its scaly flesh. The beast gave a howl, fell to the ground, and moved no more. The maiden, still clutched in the great bear paw, was yelling frantically. Just as Benedict moved forwards to help her, he received a blow to the back of the head and fell into nothingness.
He awoke tied to a chair in the middle of a cottage. The wide-awake maiden was tied to the chair next to him. He noticed that all his armor and weapons had been removed from his figure. Hans was standing in front of him, not tied up and still with all his armor and weapons, talking to a witch. She was obviously a witch, as seen from her pointy hat and the wand in her hand. Benedict realized that they must be in the witch’s house.
“Just take the money.” Hans was saying
“No I shall not!” replied the witch. “I am not your personal servant, I do not do whatever you tell me to in exchange for money!”
“I just need you to modify their memories,” Hans replied. “Just make them think that I killed the beast and that I rescued the maiden. That’s all! Besides, if anything I am over paying you for this task.”
Benedict was horrified. “What?!” he exclaimed. “Why would you do something like this?”
“So that I look better,” came the reply “I love being famous. Besides, it’s no big deal. I’ve done it once before with the whole ‘Warwick dragon’ business. However,” he exclaimed, looking sternly at the witch “The witch I had last time was much more cooperative.”
“You mean that--” Benedict began.
“Yes, you’ve got it right. You killed the dragon and chopped off its head. I simply stabbed you in the foot and let you lose so much blood that you became unconscious. Then, I took you to a witch who changed your memory and restored your blood. After all, I couldn’t kill my own brother.”
“So you brought me along with you this time--”
“To do the exact same thing all over again.” Hans finished. “I just let the beast hit me so I could fake a blackout. I watched you kill it, and then I sneaked up behind you and hit you with the butt of my sword.” Hans looked mighty pleased with himself. “Flaw proof, isn’t it?” he said gleefully.
“Almost.” replied Benedict. Unbeknownst to anybody else, Benedict always kept a gold dagger up his right-hand sleeve in case of an emergency. Through the entire conversation he had been hacking away at this bindings behind the chair. With one last cut, the ropes fell to the floor. Hans didn’t notice. He merely smiled, turned around, and began negotiations with the witch again. Benedict stood up, strode over to Hans, and promptly stabbed him in the foot. Hans yelled with pain and reached for his sword. However, his sword wasn’t there. Both his sword and the witch had suddenly disappeared into thin air. Holding his injured foot, Hans collapsed to the ground in a groan of agony.

Seeing that the job was done, Benedict walked over to the maiden and cut her free.
“You’ve saved my life twice,” said the maiden. She really was very beautiful. Benedict blushed, for he had never really talked to a girl. Their conversation wore on, and the two realized that they had similar personalities. It was decided on the spot that they should be married, and the duo rode off into the sunset on Benedict’s horse.

Benedict didn’t remember about his brother until a week later. However, when he arrived once again at the witch’s cottage, there was nobody in sight. The place was completely deserted. Sir Hans was never seen again, and nobody knows quite what happened to him. But this is unimportant. The real importance lies in the fact that the people of Oxford were right. The better of the two knights did return from the quest.