Taking in a slow, deep breath, she lifted her violin. Her blue eyes scanned the crowd, unsure exactly who or what to look at. The crowd was a sea of glossy silk and shimmering satin, with women wearing ball gowns that cascaded away from their bodies at the waist, giving them the appearance of ringing bells with each step they took. The men smelled faintly of cologne, yelling over each other with alcohol and talk of women on their breath. The ballroom was packed from wall to wall with every citizen of Mardell. All the kingdom’s shops had closed for the celebratory evening, even the marketplace that was usually bustling with people was eerily silent. This was not a joyous occasion for all who attended, because a difficult decision that determined the future of the kingdom was to be made this evening. The King and Queen instructed everyone to find their seats in the Great Hall for Princess Noelle’s performance. As everyone funneled in, I made my way to a front table to sit alongside my parents, The King and Queen. After a few minutes, the curtains parted, behind them, my sister stood alone with her violin in hand.

She swallowed hard, adjusting her posture and raising her elbow. She shifted her weight from one foot to the other as a silence fell over the crowd. She closed her eyes lightly, avoiding the hundreds of critical eyes staring at her. Her dainty fingers trembled as they pinched down the bow and found their strings. She slowly drew the bow across the strings, producing a haunting note that filled the room with anticipation. She paused for a beat, then begun her piece. Her fingers jumped and glided across the strings gracefully. Yet her eyebrows are furrowed and her body tense, concentrating on conveying the meaning that each note held. Even as a child she held this same attention to detail as she did now. At the age of five we were given our first set of colored blocks to share. Our parents had heard that blocks were a possible way to test our cognitive development, but to us it was a shiny new toy. The set of blocks was randomly scattered across the nursery room floor, and the second I saw them I lunged forward with curiosity. I blindly grabbed for the blocks and began building an animal hospital, still fully convinced that I would one day be a veterinarian, as well as the Princess of Mardell. Noelle on the the other hand, stared at me with complete bewilderment in her eyes. I was mixing and matching the different blocks, simply focused on creating stalls for the horses and pens for the pigs. Slightly irritated, she sat down next to me and began to make sense of this new set of block. Taking the blocks untouched by me, Noelle separated them into three pile- red, blue, and yellow. Then within the color piles she sorted them by shape and size, not letting one block be out of its given place. By now the supply of unused blocks was dwindling, and the term “share” rarely came up between Noelle and I.
Annoyed, I turned to Noelle and yelled “You know, you’re taking all the fun out of blocks! Give them to me!”
Noelle shot me a nasty glare, “No I’m not, they look better this way! Not randomly stacked!”
Clearly she did not understand, “I’m making an animal hospital, to save LIVES!”
As I reached out to take a handful of her blocks, she swatted at my hand and shrieked,
“Stop it! These are mine!”
We immediately began to hit each other, leaving red marks all over each other’s arms. She grabbed a handful of my blonde curls and tugged down, I reached back at her, grasping nothing but air. I was determined to show her that I deserve the blocks more than her. The fight was quickly interrupted by Mrs. Darcy, our teacher and nanny, who tore us apart, exposing our tear filled eyes and red faces.
“Opposite sides of the room! You both know how this will make you look to the court!” she said in a harsh tone.
Turning our backs to each other, we stormed to our designated corners for a time out.
Just before reaching my corner, I spun around and blurted out, “When they choose me, at least I’ll have my OWN toys!”
Noelle’s face dropped, and her eyes went hollow. We never spoke of the final decision, simply out of courtesy, but it just slipped out. I wished I that I could take it back. I still do.

I forced my eyes to the stage, Noelle was now fiercely swaying back and forth with the beat of the song. The tension in her body and face melted away as she found her rhythm. Her fingers were furiously pressing the strings, with each note she seemed to be letting go of her fear and anxiety and hatred. I know, because I felt it too. Every day, we felt the apprehension of this night hanging over our heads.

I looked back at Noelle, her face, half covered by her wispy brown hair, was frozen with disbelief. She is looking, but she doesn’t truly see me as tears began welling up in her eyes. Panicked, I ran out of the room and down the hall as fast as my feet could carry me. My body went numb and I could feel the cold sweat on the back of my neck beginning to form. I didn’t mean it.
A few months earlier our parents had explained to us that many years before our birth, Mardell had entered its Great Famine. To ensure all citizens would receive enough food, Mardell implemented a policy that strictly limited each couple to one child. All that had been shaken when we, royal twins, were born. Our parents had not managed to waive the rule entirely but instead deferred it to our fifteenth birthday, when one of the twins would be chosen to live and one day rule the Kingdom. Throughout our lives we were to be compared- our personalities, abilities, and skills-to see who would be the better ruler.
I crashed onto my bed, my eyes flooding with tears. This is so unfair, I screamed in my head. Unable to speak, breathe, or apologize. Everything hurt. I choked on the lump in my throat as my body wrenched forward forcing the tears out of my eyes. The weight of my chest pulled me closer and closer into my cotton bed sheets, I wanted them the wrap me up and take me anywhere but here. Take me back to before I said those words to Noelle and before I knew about the “final decision”.
The crowd broke into thunderous applause. I looked up from the shaky hands in my lap and met Noelle’s tear filled gaze. She gave me a sad smile. This was it. For fifteen years, the kingdom had held their breath awaiting this final verdict. But Noelle and I didn’t need to hear the announcement, we already knew.