Something else tells me that stars are closer than a trillion miles away. I decided that maybe I should try and go catch them to have for my business of star jarring. That way my customers wouldn't have to buy fake stars and I wouldn't be ripping them off.
So I took my trusty private jet named Sally and my AR (atmosphere ripper) and soared into space. I searched for hours and hours until I finally found a star that I decided to name Chadwick. I was delighted to have found Chadwick, but he was way bigger than I expected! But I did prove my theory that there are stars that are as far from Earth as Chicago is from New York City. So I decided to prove to my costumers that I was not ripping them off! So I took out my biggest star jar and my best SSU (Star-Sucker-Upper) and attempted to suck Chadwick right up! But before I could even press the 'on' button, I was interrupted.
"Hey hey hey! Cammi," hollered Chadwick with his rays flying into the atmosphere like arms. "I know you're a famous star jarrer. But you don't have to suck me up! Just take me to where you came from and show everyone."
"No, Mr. Chadwick sir," I politely objected, "my costumers need you! They make lotion and perfume and makeup out of you! I need to offer real star jars for my business!"
Chadwick gasped. "No no no! Absolutely not! I simply cannot allow you to just stick me in a jar!"
"Okay then..." I murmured, contemplating another plan. "I guess I'll have to force you to let me..."
So I decided to take out my SSU and just suck Chadwick right up into my jar! But Chadwick was stronger than I expected! My SSU could suck up more than a hundred stampeding elephants at once, but it could not suck up Chadwick. I then realized that Chadwick had a bit of a tough atmosphere around him and my SSU simply could not suck up on object as powerful as an atmosphere. So I tried to use my AR, but all the batteries I had left for it were duds, meaning that I had to spend the rest of my life in my jet with Chadwick.
I miss home.