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Once upon a time in the land of Gunnalgar there lived a handsome young fellow. Not king nor a prince but a simple man who enjoyed wandering around in the forest. He had short blonde hair, and a long narrow body.
One day while he was frolicking about the forest he stumbled across a strange little man, he was short and had little stubby legs. His hair was short and a deep shade of auburn, and his skin as pain as a full moon.
“Hello,” said the young wonderer, “My name is Sparrow, and you are...?”
“Rumpwouldiskatoa. But you have my leave to call me Rump.” The strange man replied.
“Rump… like a-” Sparrow feel into deep silence as he saw the look that began to cover Rump’s face.
“So…uh…who are you? And why on Gunnalgar are you so small?” Sparrow asked.
“I am a man fairy.” Rump replied, “We are called Mairies. “
“Mary is my sister’s name!” sparrow exclaimed slightly confused.
“No, you dim-wit! Not M-A-R-Y, its M-A-I-R-I-E-S; like the word man and fairies combined,” Rump said matter-of-factly, “Don’t you know anything about fairies?”
“Well, most of what I know comes from legends: like all fairies are women, they all have wings, and they have magical fairy dust that makes people fly!”
Rump looked slightly offended, but then let out a deep chuckle that enveloped in to a whole hearted laugh. “Most of that is wrong, there are such things as man fairies, and not all of us have wings; but you did manage to hear that part about us having fairy dust right. Just about all fairies have it; I have got loads of it myself.” Rump said with a smile. “Come with me for the day son, and I will show you what fairies are really like.” Rump trotted on his stumpy legs farther into the forest, beckoning for Sparrow to follow.
After a short while of walking, Rump and Sparrow came to a halt in a peaceful meadow that was punctured by the largest tree Sparrow had ever seen.
“Ooh, Ooh! I know this part! You live in a hollowed out tree!” Sparrow exclaimed then looked to Rump awaiting a hearty “you’re a smart fellow,” or a “very good son,” but instead found Rump looking at the ground shaking his head slowly.
“No you stupid man! What do you think I am an ogre? Of course we do not live in hollowed trees! This is merely transportation to our real destination,”
“Oh…” replied Sparrow feeling foolish. At that moment he heard Rump mumble a strange enchantment and then a tremendous buzzing sound that was so loud it shook the ground. Then the tree opened at the very bottom of the trunk exposing a little room with a finely carved wooden bench accompanied by a counter a lined with many different cookies and cakes and beverages. Rump started towards the tree without hesitation, then turned around and gestured for Sparrow to follow.
Inside the elevator, Rump pressed a series of buttons until a sing-song-y voice announced “Level 20: Rump Residence” The elevator shot up in seconds. Rump grabbed a sugary cookie and sat down on the bench. Sparrow did the same but looked nervously at his surroundings.
Soon the doors of the elevator slid open and revealed a large house sitting on fluffy white materiel that looked somewhat like cotton candy. Rump jumped out of the elevator and stepped on the white ground.
“Should I be afraid?” Sparrow inquired.
“Why? What should you be afraid of? This is nothing more than the best cloud in all of Gunnalgar.” Sparrow stepped out onto the cloud and admired the home. The house was filled with an abundance of wooden furniture and tropical plants. On every table there seemed to be a bowl holding a sparkling dust, fairy dust of course Sparrow thought. It was very beautiful except for the fact that there were small piles of green goo spread out about the floor. Most everything in the home looked the same as you would find in any humans house; except for a few strange items that stood out in the wooden crowd.
“I am guessing you know what everything is?” Rump inquired.
“Yeah almost but; what is that?” Sparrow asked pointing to a box like object sticking out from the wall. It looked like am metal cupboard; except instead of doors it had two vertical slits about six inches apart.
“Oh that, yes, well you would not have one of those. That is my wing cleaner; here I will demonstrate.” Rump backed up into the machine letting his wings, that had just appeared magically from his back, fall into the wholes; then he pressed a few buttons and closed his eyes.
Suddenly there was a great flash of light that nearly blinded Sparrow as he fell backwards onto his backside.
“Oops.” Rump exclaimed as he pulled his wings out of the machine. “Sorry, forgot to warn you. It cleans with a lazar…sorry.” Rump said staring at his newly sparkling wings.
Sparrow rubbed his backside. “It is ok I just fell back on my rump.” As soon as the words left his mouth he realized how foolish he was. Rump was staring at him; his eyes were piercing with rage.
“How dare you.” Rump said as the anger built inside of him. “HOW DARE YOU!” he said again this time screaming with rage.
Sparrow stumbled backwards; “Please, sir, I am so sorry, please!” Rump seized a hand pull of fairy dust from the crystal bowl, and threw it at Sparrow. Sparrow was lost in a fog on confusion. The room was spinning and growing in size, until everything went black.
Rump let out a tremendous roar of laughter, as he stared at yet another pile of green goo lying on the floor where Sparrow had stood. For all though all fairies do have fairy dust; it is not used for flying.
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Just because your paranoid don't mean there not after you- Nirvana
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