I am quite certain you are aware of the cheese-thieving purple dragon that has been robbing all local delis for Gouda these past 3 weeks. This said dragon has just recently robbed me of my 100 glorious pounds of smoked Gouda (for the Annual Smoke Foods Festival next week). I am looking to hire someone to:

1. Find said dragon and/or hoard.

2. If dragon is found, vanquish said dragon in most epic manner possible (preferably with magic).

3. Return with rescued Gouda and portside wing of said dragon and largest toenail on starboard talon (yes, they're necessary).

No pay, cheese-avenging is a reward of its own. Please note that I'm NOT referring to the turquoise dragon that frequently takes Swiss cheese. He and I have made an agreement.