The Lifeguards | Teen Ink

The Lifeguards

January 29, 2015
By KadiR PLATINUM, Livonia, Michigan
KadiR PLATINUM, Livonia, Michigan
30 articles 3 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live life now, this is not a rehearsal"~~unknown

(Lifeguard A is showing around Lifeguard B. A is being very bossy and "I'm better than you", but there is only so much B will take...)

A. ...And this is the break room. Don't touch the stuff on the bottom shelf of the fridge--that's mine.
B. Got it.
A. And you're only allowed to have lunch between 9:30 and 9:40.
B. Why only ten minutes?
A. Because people could be dying out there while you're in here stuffing your face!
B. But, isn't your lunch break...
A. Alright, moving on.
B. No, wait a second. I don't think that's fair--
A. Alright, listen. I have been a lifeguard here for three years. I'm pretty sure that some newbie like you can't tell me how to schedule lunch breaks.
B. But didn't the emanager say that--
A. Will you just shut up already? All I've heard since you got here is nag nag nag, whine-ity whine whine. What I say goes, because I'm in charge. Have I made myself clear?
B. Crystal.
A. Good. Now it's your shift, and I'm pretty sure someone threw up in the whirlpool.
B. Alright now listen here--I will take the ten minute lunch break--I eat fast. And I wont touch the bottom shelf, 'cause germs. But there is no way in ---- that I am cleaning up after some brat that used to be full of pizza before he sprayed it all over the bottom of the pool. You do not pay me, so how about you clean up the vomit?
A. What? You can't--
B. Oh look, here's a net. Why don't you run along now so I can eat my lunch in peace?
A. (exits, sulking)
B. Yeah, you better run!

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