(Set on the exterior of a cafe. There are tables and chairs set up around a window where you can see the interior of the cafe. A door is set near the edge of stage left. Josh enters from stage left and opens the door and awkwardly holds it open for Erin, who enters from stage right a few seconds after Josh).

Erin: Thanks.
Josh: Ok. No, I mean, yeah. … You’re welcome.
(Erin walks into the cafe followed closely by Josh. Erin orders and sits outside at a table. She takes out a laptop and starts typing. Josh orders and sits at the table next to her. He looks at Erin for a bit before she notices and then pulls out his phone and starts typing.)

Erin: Wait, did you just email me?
Josh: Um, Yeah.
Erin: Do I know you?
Josh: Maybe. I used to sit behind you in english. You waved at me during graduation. 

Erin: Sorry, I don’t really remember you.
Josh: Oh.
Erin: … How did you get my email address?
Josh: I saw it on your frequent buyer card.
Erin: Seriously?
Josh: Yeah, you should be more careful with your personal information, some rando    might steal your identity. Or stalk you. Or murder you.

Erin: You should probably stop talking now.
Josh: You’re lucky it was me who saw it. Cause we’re like, connected. Right?
Erin: No?
Josh: But our stars are crossed. Like in our class when we acted out “Romeo and Juliet”            together. You were Juliet and I was Paris. I was going to marry you, but you    turned me down. … don’t you remember that?

Erin: Not really. … How did you remember all that?
Josh: How could I forget? It was you and me, together. … How could you forget that?
Erin: It was just one class —
Josh: Just? How could you forget? That was such an important moment for us. That was                     when we first connected, what we’ll tell our grandchildren, our origin story.

Erin: This is starting to get kinda weird.
Josh: This isn’t weird. It’s romantic. I’m reconnecting with you, mending our fates, bringing us   back together. … It’s a sweet romantic gesture. Right?

Erin: No. It’s really creepy.
Josh: But look. We’re talking now. Isn’t this nice?
Erin: No.
Josh: Wasn’t the email a good icebreaker?

Erin: No.
Josh: But look at us. We’re finally together again. We can make it work this time. Our lives will   never be the same.

Erin: What are you talking about.
Josh: … I’m gonna start over. It’s going to work this time. (He pauses and smiles) Hi. I’m Josh.
Erin: You can’t just start over.
Josh: You must be Erin. Nice to meet you.
Erin: (Sighs dramatically)
Josh: You know how much an obese poler bear weighs? … Enough to break the ice.

Erin: Can you stop now? I’m just trying to get some work done.
Josh: So a Priest, a Rabbi and - oh, wait… Yeah. … Yeah, I have a ton of work to do too. How   much work do you have?

Erin: (Skeptically) … A lot.
Josh: I probably have even more. I have so much work to do. You have no idea.

Erin: Shouldn’t you be doing your work then?
Josh: Yeah, you’re kind of distracting me (leans towards her and whispers loudly) but you’re   worth it.

Erin: I’m not worth it. You should get some work done.
Josh: You know what? You’re right. I shouldn’t let you get in front of my work life.
Erin: Yeah.
Josh: But I can change that.
Erin: No.
Josh: You deserve this relationship. I can help you with your social skills.
Erin: My social skills?
Josh: Yeah. Look at me, I’m doing all the work in this relationship and you keep ignoring    me. I had to initiate it, I had to keep us going through the rough patches. … I deserve     better

Erin: We’re not in a relationship.
Josh: See. You keep on putting me in difficult situations and you expect me to get us out of them.

Erin: No, I don’t.
Josh: Don’t worry. We’ll pull through this. We always have.
Erin: We’ve been talking for like 5 minutes. I forgot you existed until today.
Josh: You’re so mean. Do you even like me? What are we?
Erin: I’m gonna go now.
Josh: Fine, just leave then. Like you always do. See what I care.
Erin: Ok.
Josh: Fine.
(Erin gathers her things and starts walking offstage)
Josh: Wait, please, this is meant to be.
Erin: I don’t think so.
Josh: You’re making a huge mistake.
Erin: I still don’t think so.
Josh: Please.
Erin: No.
(Erin walks offstage. Josh waits a few seconds, gathers his stuff, and follows her.)
Josh: (looks at the audience) We’ll work it out.