Looking at a road that seemed endless, Bethany kept walking forward. She walked past the bouncing sound of a basketball from a playground and giggling girls who looked exactly the opposite from Bethany. She heard sounds of happiness, however, she continued to walk, trying her best to ignore all the sounds. She would get very sad hearing people giggling and happy. She was never included anywhere. No one knew her name. Her name was never called by anybody. She went by Beth, but no one knew about it. She wondered if she could own the same happiness if she smiled or laughed, even though she wasn’t happy at all. She wondered, again, if those people with lots of laughter had the same, depressing moments she did every day. She wished that they would have the same, muddy, and cloudy days because it just wouldn’t be fair if their lives were only filled with joy and brightness when hers was filled with depression and darkness. A few water drops started to fall onto the road and made wet stains. She wasn’t sure if they were just teardrops from her eyes or raindrops from the sky. No one knew because no one cared. Neither did she.

…

Bethany heard doors slammed in her house. People at her school always wanted to go home, but for her, home wasn’t the place she always wanted to go. Home wasn’t the same word for her. Words, meant to hurt each other, were heard by her. They came out of her parents’ room. Those words became sharp knives and hurt each other. It was odd. The words from their own mouths were hurting themselves. She prayed to God that he would be a savior for them. She hoped to God that there would be a blessing for them. She was in pain. The pain, that restlessly suffocated her, never stopped. She didn’t know why it couldn’t kill her. She wished every night to stars, to the Moon, and to the sea, that she wouldn’t wake up the next morning. Every time she closed her eyes, she didn’t want to open them ever again. She cried how beautiful the world was. Everything was so beautiful. She was the only flaw. She called for help. She wasn’t heard. Bethany screamed. Thunders hit the ground at the same time. The floor was getting wet again, just like the road she was standing on the other day.

…

“Come with me,” said a strange, old lady who popped out of nowhere in Bethany’s room.

“Everything will be changed. You will be loved. You will be cared for.” Sweet words came from her mouth.

“Grab this rope. You come with me, okay?” said the old lady. It sounded so wonderful. Bethany wondered if it was real or if this was another person who faked being nice. She was afraid that everything would be a lie. Her head was telling her to say no, but the dumb heart of hers was full of thoughts that her life could actually be different. Standing in front of a dead end maze, she felt like an echo that would never be answered.

“Nothing will change if you stay here.” Every word the old lady said was tempting.

“Hang this on your neck. When you wake up from a long sleep, there will be flowers blooming, then the spring will come,” said the old lady. It was like a jar of honey that looked so sweet that she could never resist opening the lid.

“You shouldn’t do that. You will regret.” This time, a small stranger girl popped out of nowhere and spoke.

“Only pain will cover your body and mind and you won’t be able to wake up ever again.” The little girl looked concerned.

“But, that’s what I always wanted.” Bethany finally spoke.

“Forever. It seems like nothing, but it means a lot, actually. Your loved ones will age without you, they will move on with their lives without you. You won’t be able to see them or be with them ever again.” The little girl looked upset this time.

“Do you think you won’t regret?” The little girl looked frustrated now as if she was trying to make her realize something. Bethany stood still and stopped moving, she even stopped blinking her eyes for fear of facing the fact that nothing might change. Only tears came out of her eyes facing the uncertainty of what would be a better choice.

“But… But… No one loves me.” Bethany spoke after a long silence with pain in her eyes.

“What about YOU? Do YOU love anybody?” The little girl said.

“I don’t know… Do I love? Am I even capable of loving? I don’t love anybody. I really don’t. I do not. I shouldn’t. I can’t. No… that’s a lie. I love my family! My parents always fight, hurt each other with words, and turn their backs to each other, but I still love them and want all of us to be together and be happy.” Bethany said, with a smile, surprisingly.

Among dark clouds, there was a ray of sunshine that was about to peek through. Bethany opened the door of her parents’ room with a certain realization. She went into the room as if she had something to say. The smile peeked on her face with the sunshine.

…

It was empty. The closet was empty. The vanity was that cleaned out. Her face emptied. The smile disappeared as she started to notice everything that belonged to her mom was gone. The only thing left on the table was a corner of torn paper that said she wasn’t coming back. Tears began to fill Bethany’s eyes, as anger filled up her soul. She was outraged. She screamed and thunder hit the ground. The ray of sunshine that was about to come out suddenly disappeared and her sky was filled with dark clouds. It started pouring and making the roads wet, just like the floor of the room.

…

The old lady appeared again. She handed the rope to Bethany.

“Are you ready now for the next spring?” said the old lady. Beth nodded her head as tears streamed down her face.

“Would you call my name for the last time, please?” Beth asked the old lady.

“Hi, Bethany. Well done so far. You can rest now.” The old lady said, with a friendly smile.

“Would you, would you call me Beth instead? That’s the name I usually go by,” said Beth.

“Yes, Beth. It’s time to sleep now. No worries. No regrets,” said the old lady. Bethany looked at her with the happiest smile ever seen on her face and took the rope from the old lady.

“At least my name was called by somebody,” said Bethany with a crying voice. In dimly lit consciousness, Beth saw the small girl who was trying to stop Bethany. The small girl was smiling at Beth as if she was finally letting Beth go. Beth smiled back at her and closed her eyes.

Beth went to a long sleep and to her next spring.