A Scream Is Only A Scream When It Is Heard | Teen Ink

A Scream Is Only A Scream When It Is Heard

February 26, 2019
By elbarros BRONZE, Natick, Massachusetts
elbarros BRONZE, Natick, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
The obstacle that poses the biggest challenges, often comes from ourselves.

Lisa Barn. That was the name of the beautiful, kind, and unfortunate girl who had no idea what her future was holding for her. Lisa had long dark brown hair that draped down her long back. She had beautiful rich brown eyes and deep olive tan skin. She was 24 years old and was looking for a place to hide away from her crumbling world. She decided she needed to drive, she didn’t know where she was going but she knew she wanted to escape. Driving for over 5 hours will do a lot to someone, especially at 11 o’clock at night. Lisa's eyelids started to droop, her stomach growled, and she had to use the bathroom. Just as she rounded a narrow bend in the road a deer jumped out in front of the car. As tired and unaware as she was, Lisa screamed and swerved off the road. When she looked over her shoulder she saw the deer trout back into the woods as if it never noticed the danger it was in. Now Lisa’s car was stuck on the side of the road and she was at a loss for what to do. It was then that she saw the ever so dim light shining through the trees. Cautiously she crept out of her car and made her way towards the light. Through the leaves of the trees an empty cabin was revealed. Once inside she started a fire in the fireplace and cozied up with a blanket on the couch. The steady clicking of the grandfather clock’s second hand was putting Lisa to sleep. As she started to fall asleep she heard a loud, crashing bang against the door, that seemed to shake the whole house in its very foundation. She was unknowing of the situation and as she tried to lay back down another bang came to the door and this time no more than 5 seconds later the power in the cabin went out. At this very minute there were thousands of thoughts going through Lisa’s head. There was no other explanation for what happened other than someone being outside. She was out in the middle of the woods with no car, no working phone, and no lights. Whoever was outside could get into the house whenever they wanted. Even if she made it through the night and into the day, it wouldn’t change the fact that she was still out there all alone. She ran to the kitchen grabbed a knife and scurried up the stairs to her bedroom where she locked herself in. As she backed away from the door her back hit the wall and nearly made her jump out of her skin. She slid down the wall and cried for what felt like hours. In that time she never heard a single thing besides her echoing sobs. As she realized this, she thought to herself, “maybe there was no one out there after all. Maybe a tree branch fell on the power line or something. That would explain the power situation.” She slowly got up and shuffled to the bedroom door unlocking it. She crept down each step on the stairs waiting at least a minute on each step to listen for any noise. Finally, after hearing nothing, she came to the conclusion that she had just imagined the worst case scenario. That was until she saw him. He was a tall man. He had a muscular frame and was wearing a ski mask. He was outside on the porch just staring at her through the glass. One look at his 6’4 body and Lisa knew she didn’t stand a chance against him, as she only stood at 5’2. Lisa felt as if her entire body had shut down. She couldn’t move, blink, or breathe. When she eventually gathered up enough courage she backed into the bathroom where she hid, and then silence. Nothing. Not even her breathing could be heard, until the loud thundering crash of the front door hitting the ground rang in her ears. He had gotten in. All hope was lost. Lisa knew she had to think quickly or she was going to die. She could hear his big feet dragging on the wood floor of the cabin. Lisa couldn’t understand why all this was happening to her, why her? The doorknob jiggled. She had to do something and fast. She reached for the curtain rod of the shower. Up on her tippy toes stretching her arm as long as it would go eventually grabbing it and using all her force to break the window leading outside into the woods. As she jumped out of the window she cut the side of her leg on the broken glass but it didn’t matter, Lisa was only worried about escaping out of the cabin. The man heard the glass break and ran around the outside of the house where he found her. She tried to run but he was too fast. He managed to grab the back of her jacket and pull her towards him. She could scream but what goods a scream if there’s no one around to hear it. After all, a scream is only a scream when it is heard.

The author's comments:

I have always found thriller/horror stories very interesting. This writing, that is somewhat of a short story, includes details and actions that I have read or seen in books, movies, and more. There is no real ending to this story as it allows for the readers to imagine their own ending. Leaving the story on an almost unfinsihed note, permits the many different endings that the readers can visualize.

Similar Articles


This article has 20 comments.

on Oct. 25 at 2:47 pm
kendal_kelly BRONZE, Austin, Texas
2 articles 1 photo 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
It doesn't matter who you are it only matters what you do -sam winchester

omg, This is literally one of the best stories i have ever read your so talented!

on Nov. 4 2022 at 10:35 am
RustedTelephone BRONZE, Bellingham, Washington
3 articles 5 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution." -Albert Einstein

I agree with @MarkLabo. Paragraphs would have really helped me to keep better track of were I was, but the story is really good, and I love the idea and the cliff hanger at the end. It is the kind of story where I want to know what's coming, but if more had been added, it would have kind of ruined it. The spot where you stopped it is perfect! I do also think that maybe you could have slowed it down a little bit, to help us further connect with the character, but otherwise this was a really good story, good job!

MarkLabo said...
on Aug. 28 2022 at 6:54 pm
MarkLabo, Ann Arbor, Michigan
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
This piece definitely has some creative ideas in it, but it should really use paragraph breaks to separate ideas and sections of the story. The way this piece is now, everything is just a huge, impenetrable block of text; I really struggled to actually keep track of where I was and what was going on due to that. Spacing out sections of the story by making them different paragraphs to have a clearer progression between ideas, as well as adding emphasis to things by making them the start or end of paragraphs, would make this story much more engaging and much easier to read.

MA915360 said...
on Mar. 1 2022 at 5:09 pm
MA915360, El Paso, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
A specific detail/strategy that the writer used that I thought was interesting was how she made the story move fast to add to the reader's curiosity and suspense throughout the story. One meaningful suggestion of improvement that the author could use is to add a backstory. I was confused on how and why Lisa even got there in the first place and whose cabin did she randomly get in? How was the door unlocked if there was nobody?

MA915360 said...
on Mar. 1 2022 at 4:56 pm
MA915360, El Paso, Texas
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Very good story. Liked how you ended it.

on Feb. 20 2022 at 6:50 am
kali73304 SILVER, Long Lane, Missouri
6 articles 2 photos 35 comments
Wow! That was a very descriptive story, I liked it. I hope you will write more thriller/horror stories in the future.

on Sep. 13 2021 at 10:27 am
Paige_hemphill, Hudson, Wisconsin
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If we had hinges on our heads, there wouldn't no sin, 'cause we could take the bad stuff out, and leave the good stuff in." - Shel Silverstein

Okay I liked the concept of the story but it seems to be moving way to fast for me to understand. there is a lot going on. overall its good just my thoughts on it

on Feb. 16 2021 at 3:38 pm
The-Grim-Reaper SILVER, Hudson, New Hampshire
8 articles 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
We are all born crazy some of us remain that way

We don't talk about Bruno

Silenco Bruno

The grim reaper likes

on Dec. 9 2020 at 10:05 am
living-dead-girl-666 PLATINUM, Coffeyville, Kansas
27 articles 1 photo 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
The roses are wilted
The violets are dead
The demons run circles
Round and round inside my head

I love it

Demonic3444 said...
on Jun. 5 2020 at 6:38 pm
Demonic3444, Norton, Ohio
0 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
My mind is like my internet browser; nineteen open tabs, three of them frozen, and I have no clue where the music is coming from...


on Apr. 27 2020 at 4:45 pm
read4ever BRONZE, Newfields, New Hampshire
1 article 0 photos 22 comments

Favorite Quote:
" It is my belief that there are two people in the world: Those who look at clouds and see shapes, and those who look at clouds and see clouds."

Wow... So spooky! I read this at night, and now I regret it!

on Dec. 19 2019 at 2:41 pm
nevaehapodacaa BRONZE, Sacramento, California
1 article 0 photos 3 comments
It was exciting to read and it had lots of suspense.

MikeSkanks said...
on Dec. 19 2019 at 2:26 pm
MikeSkanks, Sacramento, California
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
This story uses great sensory details and I can picture the story in my head.

MiaKatz said...
on Nov. 1 2019 at 12:09 pm
MiaKatz, Dover, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Very well written and there was really good description

lynziehill said...
on Oct. 28 2019 at 10:34 am
lynziehill, Bunker Hill, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
I loved this story! great suspense

apeeke BRONZE said...
on Mar. 18 2019 at 7:44 pm
apeeke BRONZE, Hammonton, New Jersey
3 articles 0 photos 30 comments
I agree. The only advice I can give you is to never stop writing- no matter what. If you feel like your stuck on a piece, don't quite. Never quite. Write freely and don't be afraid of what the reader or the audience may think. Your not writing to please them, your writing to please yourself. . . and that's all that counts.

Stsakas said...
on Mar. 17 2019 at 9:03 am
Stsakas, Hudson, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Wow, I was enthralled with the main character's development and the storyline! It is evident that the author captures the essence of storytelling in a compelling manner.

Ktsakas said...
on Mar. 16 2019 at 2:01 pm
Ktsakas, Natick, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Very suspenseful, I felt like I could picture everything from the way it’s written and enjoyed her character’s innovation and courage. Very intriguing writing from such a young person.

wbarry said...
on Mar. 16 2019 at 1:48 pm
wbarry, Wellesley, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 1 comment
Absolutely amazing!

Ktsakas said...
on Mar. 16 2019 at 12:48 pm
Ktsakas, Natick, Massachusetts
0 articles 0 photos 3 comments
Beautiful story very well written!