Shadows | Teen Ink

Shadows

May 29, 2023
By RS-Pizarro BRONZE, East Brunswick, New Jersey
RS-Pizarro BRONZE, East Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Nolan and Amelia Hartmann did not know love, so they gave none back to anyone but each other. Their mother died and their poor father sent them off to Germany to live with their relatives only because he did not have enough money to feed their stomachs. 

Uncle Milo and Aunt Brigita were doing their best to keep the twins out of trouble-- distinctly at school.


RING RING RING!  The phone sets off a loud noise as the aged wooden floor creaks against Brigita Roth’s feet rushing towards the buzzing object.

“Yes?” her voice trembles.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Roth. I hope you’ve been having a great week since the last time we spoke,” the principal starts to get colder as he speaks, “your nephew got into another fight this week with another student. Please come to the school and stop by my office as soon as possible.”

Brigita gasps in disbelief. She takes a deep breath in and out until she is mentally prepared to answer in a kind tone.

“Dr. Bendon, I will be there now. Thank you for letting me know,” she hangs up the phone and curses in a murmur. 

The door slowly swings open as Brigita enters Dr. Benson’s office. Nolan’s body rounds up like a ball on his chair. The boy sitting next to Nolan is bruised. His eyes are filled with tears. His mom presses against the sharp edges of the chair. She stands tall and wears a wary look.

“Thank you for coming...both of you,” his hands lay on the end of his desk facing each other, “Before we jump to conclusions, let me explain the situation. Just a few hours ago, Nolan Hartmann and Ray Schmidt were found fighting in the cafeteria. Some students say it was Nolan who started the fight, others say it was Ray. Nevertheless, both deny admitting who actually started it.” Dr. Benson pays a cold look towards Nolan. Does he think Nolan started it? Is he sure Nolan started it?

“I didn’t do it!” Nolan leaps out of his chair causing Ray and Mrs. Schmidt to flinch. Brigita’s feet stomp on the floor attempting to release Ray of Nolan.

“Sit down, Nolan,” she places a hand on Nolan’s shoulder lowering him back into his chair, her voice isn’t loud but straightforward.

“What did you not do?” Dr. Benson’s words are distinct.

“I didn’t start the argument.” Nolan’s face and tone are innocent.

“But you started the fight, right?” his eyebrows shoot up and tilt down.

“Ray said that my sister and I are an invasive species just because we’re not natives,” Nolan’s eyebrows furrow.

“And all that for one comment? You would have visited the feelings specialist ” the principal’s eyes narrow.

Ray chuckles under his breath.

Nolan springs onto Ray and almost slaps him but Brigita and Mrs. Schmidt pull them apart.

“That is it for you Nolan! You have just begun in this school and have already gotten into two fights--suspension for you!”

Crying reminds Nolan of his mother, so his eyes resist the tears.

Nolan and Brigita have to also pick up Amelia from her classes who is glad she has been dismissed earlier. They walk toward the black BMW. The sky is cloudy and does not show a single drop of blue.

Nolan reaches for the handle of the passenger seat door but Brigita interrupts. 

“Nope. You’re going in the back seat today.”

“What exactly did you do?” Amelia asks, she takes hold of the handle and pulls it to get inside the car, her question is ignored.

“Nolan?” Brigita monitors if everyone’s seatbelt is buckled.

“Brigita,” he repeats the question, making it sarcastic.

“You know you can call me Aunt, right? Anyway, did you start the fight?” she sighs looking back at him.

“Like I said, he started the argument.”

“But you started the fight, didn’t you?” her eyebrows lift.

“No!” he crosses his arms to resist a fist.

“But you still fought back?”

“What was I supposed to do?!” his top and bottom sides of his teeth glue together. A long pause followed afterward.

“I’m not mad. Though, I am disappointed. At least know that your uncle and I love you--both--no matter what, because we are family” she reaches for Amelia’s hand.

“I know.” Nolan looks down repeating the words Brigita has said to him; love and family, something the twins lacked to have.

When Milo arrived home from work, the look on Nolan’s face screamed the entire story. Dinner is mostly silent as Nolan takes his plate upstairs and Amelia is looking down at her plate most of the time. 

“So how was your day, Amelia?” Milo tilted his head towards her after chewing his food.

“It was okay,” Amelia shrugs, “Better than Nolan’s.”

The blue sky grew darker and the moon shone above Roth's home.

Nolan walks slowly toward Milo’s and Brigita’s room. His feet press lightly against the wooden floor for it not to creak. His eyes peek through the ajar door.

“Milo, these kids need to feel loved,” Brigita slid into the bedsheets.

“Yes, but the trauma of their parents will forever be stuck inside their heads.” Milo shook his head.

Nolan does not want to fathom his desperation for happiness. The only person he knows to trust is Amelia.

The two siblings stood out in their own ways. Nolan is tall and fair. His blue eyes fooled others, but his action withdrew the beauty of him as he wanted to do nothing with anybody. Amelia loved to dive into her books and never come back; it is a shift of reality for her. However, she hid under a shadow of her past. She does not do very well at academics but succeeds in making friends. Even so, Nolan’s and Amelia’s bond is an unbreakable one that would never be torn apart.


“Amie?” he enters her tiny room.

“Yea?” she looks up--eating an apple in one hand, the other holding a book.

“D--do you think dad left us here because he wanted to get rid of us?” Nolan tried to hide his pain, even from the person he cared about most of all.

“I don’t think he wanted to get rid of us, he just--” Amelia pauses for a second, thinking about what she is about to admit, “ --he just couldn’t keep a roof over our heads.

Nolan looked down, his mouth opened but no words came out.

“How long did you get suspended?” Amelia suggests a different subject.

“A week,” Nolan sits down at the edge of Amelia’s bed.

“What are you planning on doing?” Amelia bites a piece of her apple.

“I don’t know...I’m supposed to be contemplating my action, according to Brigita, but that won’t take up much of my time,” Nolan wraps his arms around his bent knees.

“You should go outside and enjoy the fresh air. I know someone who likes to do that” her lips bent slightly showing a sad smile.

“You knew someone who liked to do that” Nolan rolls his eyes.

Nolan grew tired of his no-school week after the first day, so he decides to follow Amelia’s advice and visit the large mass of nature outside his front door. He doesn’t bother eating breakfast, except taking a decent amount of Mamba candy in his hand as he steps out of the door and takes a walk along the tree line. Nolan dropped Mamba wraps along the way. Eating one at a time-- his canines crushed into the sticky texture of the candy leaving a strawberry scent to his mouth.


“Did you finish your homework?” Nolan’s mother gazes at 6-year old Nolan. Her brunette hair glitters against the sun’s rays. She holds tight onto Nolan’s small hand.

“Yes,” Nolan’s head glances at the tall trees, not paying attention to what he had just answered.

They walked across the graveled trail. Nolan imagined he was stepping on a tightrope. His left foot traveled in a straight line in front of his right.

His mother’s cheeks raise and show her unaligned teeth. The wind blows in their hair.  However, for a slight moment, the oxygen pauses. Nolan’s mother places a hand on her stomach. The expression on her face showed the pain she experienced. The feeling was as if a bullet were stuck in her stomach. Her eyes elongate.

“Are you okay Mam?” Nolan realizes the stress on her.


After a few minutes, Nolan finishes all of his Mamba and thinks he will explore inside the Frost woods. He wouldn’t travel deep in, so he does not get lost, but only a brief look. He buries his hands in his pockets and approaches the graveled pathway. His lips round into a circle and release a bird’s tone. 

The blue sky is barely visible with trees glued together. Their leaves rest on the muddy grass that Nolan accidentally slides his foot in. He follows the grass-covered rocky trail that is only visible because of the sun’s light. The trail suddenly stops at a clearing. The dead-end is not what causes Nolan to turn back. Instead, it is the tall, old-resembled mansion that stands tall in the middle of the forest.


*          *          *

 

Amelia does not arrive home until the afternoon. Wearing her dark brown school uniform with black mary jane shoes, light brown long socks. Her hair pulled back, and a brown blazer over her blouse tucked into a plaid skirt.  Amelia sets her backpack down on the kitchen floor and opens the refrigerator for a glass of orange juice. She sits down on the counter chairs and bites her teeth onto an oatmeal cookie.

Her peaceful snack is interrupted by Nolan’s desires.

“Amie!” his feet bang against the stairs making many floors shake.

“What?” her mouth lets out a big sigh as if hinting that the school day did not go so well.

“We need to go now! I have to show you something,” Nolan takes the glass of orange juice out of her hand and drags her toward the door.

“Where are you taking me?!” she glues her feet on the floor for Nolan not to take her somewhere she does not approve of.

“The Frost Woods! You have to see for yourself!” He unlocks the front door.

“Does Aunt Brigita know about this?” Amelia’s eyebrows furrow.

“Brigita’s shopping, we’ll be back before she notices we are gone,” Nolan leads Amelia outside.

Amelia doesn’t say anything, rather, she releases her body and lets Nolan take over.

Once they sprint toward the crowd of tall trees, the wind is in their hair. Amelia runs out of breath, but Nolan’s motivation for adventure is getting to his common sense.

“So what exactly did you discover?” Amelia bends her spine towards the ground, her hands on both knees.

“It’s this house, more like a mansion, maybe even a castle,” Nolan’s head looking in all directions, his back standing tall, his shoulder far back, slightly grinning, “You’ll see.”

“Why would there be a mansion in the middle of the woods?” She stands back up and lifts an eyebrow.

“As I said, you’ll see.” even though he doesn’t know the adventurous traits he has, “Come on, follow me.”

This time, instead of taking the safe trail, Nolan chose to take the woods. The actual woods...for a ‘shortcut’...perhaps ‘detour’ would have been the fitting word.

Nolan dived into the tall trunks. Adrenaline filled his legs. His heart begins to pound as fast as he runs. Amelia’s skinny legs are working twice as much to keep up.  “Nolan, wait for me!”

Nolan ignores her. He feels a sensation of floating as his legs sprint through the trees. He jumps over fallen trunks, he dove under low branches. He ran in a world of obstacles, but at least in this world--he knew how to overcome them. He feels free. He feels so free he feels happy. He felt so happy he grinned. Then, he started to grind but more than a grin, his eyes are reaching his forehead. His teeth are visible for no camera but to his own lens. The lens that shows his true self is not hidden under his past.


Nolan reaches the clearing before he acknowledges his feelings. A grand mansion stood in front of him. But it screamed more mysterious than age.

Out of the blue, a wind nearly knocks him down. His brown shaggy hair blows in all directions like never before. Suspense builds up upon his feet, and then to his calves, and then to his thighs, and then to his hips, and then BAM! 


Amelia crashes into Nolan, using him as a brake. Nolan trips but then catches himself in a clap before he hits a large fallen branch that may or may not break his collarbone.

Before Amelia can even say sorry, she can’t even let out the words of how stunned she is by the castle-looking house.

“What--why--how?” jaw slightly open, her eyes glaring at the structure.

“I know. That’s what I felt like when I first saw it this morning.” he looks at it the same way Amelia does.

“Di--did you go inside of it?” Amelia focuses on his deep blue eyes.

“No, I’m too scared doing it alone,” his lips curved into a grin, “but with the both of us--”

“You. are. crazy.” she clenches her teeth, eyebrows about to lift off the face like a rocket going to space. She turns and heads to the trail but Nolan reaches her forearm before she walks a yard.

“I know but somehow--I don’t know--this might be weird--but somehow, the house is calling to me.” He tries to seem sure of himself, “You were the one who told me to explore outside remember! Might as well do it.”

“I can tell you’re bored yet I’m not. So you can go visit the house by yourself as you wish and hopefully come back physically and mentally alive,” this time she power-walks as far as she can. Amelia does not want to admit it but she is waiting for Nolan to say something; except he doesn’t.

Nolan’s shoulders raise for a second and go back down, his head tilts and his lips extended out.

He takes one step at a time when approaching the house. Left foot in front of the right. Right foot in front of the left. Left foot in front of the right. Right foot in front of the left. Soon enough, he is standing only a few meters away from the residence. Nolan is counting seconds before Amelia turns around and joins him.

Amelia walks slowly down the trail, waits for Nolan to join her. It is a point that feels long enough she runs back to Nolan’s location where he runs towards hers.

“Are you still scared?” he grabs her by the hand and sprints toward the large double doors.

Amelia frowns and for once concedes her loss in a game of twins’ same psychology.


Nolan’s hands tremble, as does the sweaty hand that grips Amelia’s--cause her to become even more nervous.

Nolan is hoping it is locked so then he doesn’t have an unsatisfied feeling when he journeyed back home, but the door is not locked. He does not even have to turn the handle to open it.

They enter another side of reality--outside it is the shiny sun beaming upon them, but here--it is somebody’s nightmares. The floor creaks at a consecutive slow pace. The frozen air creeps upon the twins’ neck.

A large dimly lit chandelier hangs above their heads. They are in a lobby and a tainted mirror shows their reflection, yet there is something off about it. 

They are identical to their reflection, except they’re not. Amelia’s reflection has a wrinkled face and white hair tied back into a bun. Her spine curves, leaning towards the floor. The old lady looks like her, only older. Nolan’s reflection illustrates a tall slim man in his 30’s, wearing a long trench coat and suit underneath. The knife punched into his chest is the article that drags all of his attention.

Why does Amelia look old but I look young? Why is there a knife through my heart? Nolan contemplates.

Amelia stood in the moment, not moving a finger. Her mouth is wide open in an undefined expression.

Nolan freezes, which causes his brain to forget his tasks, such as keeping the door open.

Amelia’s feet slowly progress back and instantly turn around and pound for the closed door.  Even if the door was not locked, which it is, she still could not unlatch it since her hands are so sweaty from all of the agony.

Her body becomes a day in the summer even though it is cold autumn. Warm colors fill her lungs as she can not permit a single breath out, it is hard enough to open her mouth. The girl’s forehead hurts, her bones are frozen in time. Amelia perceives loud heartbeats coming from her chest. PAM PAM PAM… 

Her heart paces at the same beat of unspecified footsteps creaking on the wooden floor.

A silhouette emerges from the shadows.


The author's comments:

I love to write about settings in Europe. Something about it makes the story seem different, yet attractive-- hence the core of the story happens in a German forest. Also, the concept of 'Shadows' was solely based on the dark academia aesthetic, which (I think) is one of the most interesting inspirations to write about.


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