The Unknown | Teen Ink

The Unknown

July 31, 2009
By actorsarecool SILVER, Zanesville, Ohio
actorsarecool SILVER, Zanesville, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can be happy, you just haven't found it yet."~ A random stranger.

Momentarily, it took all her endurance to get back up- It was know use she was to weak, the Chimaera’s were still chasing after her weak soul. She advanced up the decaying, carpeted stairs trying to find any escape, the exotic like creatures had gruesome qualities they had three heads-lion, goat, and snake they were lingering below her; then, smelling her scent like humans do when they consume food. Ironically, here I was being the meal, the atmosphere was so black and full of menace you could almost taste it. As the young girl looked up, seeing a tall silhouette, the awe of the figure’s eyes were mesmerizing, of death.

“Time to die”. was all what the figure of evil said.
“No”, replied the young girl. Which was all what she could have the chance to say.

5 Days Later

I was watching the evening news, trying to make sense of the story, but using common sense she was dead it was as simple as that. They found her body in a old ,warehouse. The only reason why they even found her body, is because the owners had to get storage. It was a girl from school she didn’t know very well, it didn’t matter now because she will never get the chance to. As I looked at the television, I couldn’t hear the words; then, I was in shock as usual. “This was the fifth attack this month”. she thought to herself. As she finally was back to reality she heard the News anchor woman say “The investigation still continues”.

“Why does this keep happening?” said me.
“Oh Phoebe dear, they’ll find out its probably just an animal attack”’ said my Mother, Vivienne Sanders, her expression said it all. “She was as scared as me”. I said mentally.
Brushing the hair out of my face ,she finally says “You have to much to worry about anyway, “It’s your first day back at school!” she said.

Phoebe rolled her eyes, and said goodnight. Went up to bed, well lying on the bed finally forgetting about her troubles. Only one came to her. Her father. Phoebe’s parents had issues, so they did want half the population is doing. A divorce. That was the moment when everything started to change, for the most part. It wasn’t financial issues, but they were in debt it was the main reason why our family fell apart. Smoking. After the divorce was final they decided that each of them would have custody over me; then, my Dad left right as the divorce was complete. My Dad only left us one thing, as I reread it trying to get a hint of where he went.

Dear Vivienne and Phoebe,
I can’t tell you where I went ,I’m sorry, for all the grief I caused you two over the years. Also for all the grief I’m probably causing you now. I hope you forgive me. I will never forget you two,you mean more to me then you will ever know, don’t going looking for me. Its not safe.

I will love you always, William Sanders.

As usual I didn’t understand the vaque letter,I was looking for answers, I only ended up with more questions. My Mother, never brought up my father, only once. Then it was horrible. “Mom why did Dad leave?” I said. But she didn’t answer. Crying was the only thing I got out of her. So I never brought up my Dad. Ever. Although, I think about him all the time, crying in my head. Several moments later, I fell into a deep sleep.

As I was asleep,I fell into the most scariest nightmare “Ever“. my subconscious thought. I was standing in a narrow road, moon hitting the pavement. For a second I saw my dreamlike figure standing still, a warehouse was beyond me ;then ,recognizing the warehouse from the news earlier my heart rate increased ,at least my dreamlike self was. I walked further and finally entered the warehouse seeing a strange man with frightfull eyes standing over a body, it seemed. I walked over loudly thinking my dream like self was an “idiot” wanting a death wish when seconds later I realized they can’t see me. I walked over to a lab experimental table, where the figure standing over him looking evil as Satan. When horror struck me, I was the one person I haven’t seen over a year. My Dad. Then I saw that there were wildly huge monsters, coming out of the exit door. “Chasing after me” Phoebe said. “Wait you can’t see me”. she was wrong they all could. Then trying to look for a way out .The room was enormous, in the back there was a staircase, adrenialine running all through her as she made it acrroos the staircase. Then she smelled something so sickening, it wasn’t the decaying carpet, as I looked down there were bodies and one of them was the girl from school. Then everything was black. I’m dead I thought,the monsters killed me, then my vision was finally perfect. I was lying on my bed,sweat drenched all over my body, my room was in the same order. Red walls with posters of different bands,covering my walls, the floor still had clothes all over some dirty some clean. I was back in reality, I glanced at my alarm clock that said 1:12am. “I have a long way to go”I said to myself.


The author's comments:
This is only a little part of my story; I'm working on let me know what you think.

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This article has 8 comments.

on Jun. 9 2011 at 10:53 am
BandGeek BRONZE, Lyman, Maine
4 articles 0 photos 10 comments
This was really good, it just seemed like you switched points of view a little bit. But I like it a lot, and if you could, could you read one of my stories and give me feedback?

Akram_9 said...
on Jan. 6 2011 at 11:40 am
Akram_9, O.B, Other
0 articles 0 photos 11 comments
Nice one, but you got to correct the grammatical mistakes Dude... awyway, it's a great story..

on Nov. 1 2010 at 10:32 am
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

i liked was well writen, but had a few typos...what i do is i use the word document on my computer to check my spelling and grammar, then i copy and paste onto this website...that way i have no errors...

i liked it very much and keep writing please!

P.S. could you check out my story "Midnight Wolf?" i need more feedback...


on Feb. 23 2010 at 3:38 pm
Nikiblue PLATINUM, Bloomfield Hills, Michigan
20 articles 0 photos 137 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stupid Is As Stupid Does." -Forest Gump (;
"No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude."

Mmmm, it was just okay to me. It could definitely use some work. You have some typos (as in where you said "said me" instead of "said I" or "I said") You also should try organising the way you word things. Many parts in it were very confusing to follow because it seemed like you jumped from one part to the next without filling much of the details in between. Sorry, this is just how I see it. Keep trying.

on Jan. 9 2010 at 11:29 am
actorsarecool SILVER, Zanesville, Ohio
6 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You can be happy, you just haven't found it yet."~ A random stranger.

thank you for reading my work. I'll read yours as well.

on Jan. 7 2010 at 6:07 pm
This is really good. I couldn't stop reading! Check out some of my stuff too please. Particularly "Just A Guy"

candylover09 said...
on Sep. 4 2009 at 12:43 pm
i think it was good. just keep on writing do what your heart says and do what you feel is right.

on Aug. 22 2009 at 1:57 am
booksarelife4me SILVER, Lutherville, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Forgive and Forget and Never Regret."~A old friend

Wow I loved this!