should do this or not, and now I finally have a fully justifiable reason. There is no longer anything to live for. School is now absolutely horrible, but wonderfully convenient. Before, I would not have been thought of as innocent, but as cowardly. It was simple however, I had fought a battle with depression, and there were too many casualties. I had to surrender, and, ironically, fall on my own sword.



As these thoughts flowed through my mind, I couldn’t help but stare myself in the mirror and see a lifeless face look back at me. I noticed every detail etched in my distant and emotion-lacking face. It was an eerie image, yet comforting image all the same. I was going to be the last to see myself breathing. Many people may think that these are disturbing, and even sickening, thoughts, but I find them absolutely humorous and delightful. I began to chuckle. My chuckle then evolved into outright laughter.






As I continued to laugh, I turned the faucet on the tub, and ceased the flow of the ice-cold water. “What a metaphor!” My death has to be as unpleasant as the people who did this to me would feel when my body was discovered. But, then again, they wouldn’t care. But I want pain anyway; I think that I should be allowed that.





There were just too many people to blame, but before I got the chance to point the finger, my phone lit up, and I noticed I had received a new text. The text wasn’t from my best friend, or a family member, but a decent friend who understood how I always felt. Before reading the text, I couldn’t help but feel guilty about what I could be putting her through. Then I read it. It said nothing like “Don’t do this”, or, “I care about u.” It just asked the innocent question, “What’s the History essay on?” This said it all.



How should I reply? Maybe, “Thanks for being my friend” or, “tell everyone bye”. No. They deserve to be surprised. Even some of my good friends. Such as this one. She could’ve saved me, but she hadn’t shown up at school today. So I slowly typed “Greece”, and set my phone down.









Almost on an impulse, I grabbed the hair dryer, and positioned it over my head, careful not to get it wet as I entered the tub. I held it with my numb left hand, the one I had caused to shed blood, so I could feel a little more relaxed. Well, if there is a God, it will be working normally again soon.









I lay in the tub, holding my soon-to-be savior high above my head, hoping it would cause as much pain as possible. I almost wish I could hear everything after the splash, but unfortunately, I will not. As it dropped, as if in slow motion, I saw my phone light up with more incoming messages. I couldn’t help but smile, and, for the first and last time in my life, I felt at peace.