You Are More
You step up to the ledge and feel the cold rain hitting your back as you tower over everyone else in the city. The busy people look like worker ants filing from one place to another. You take one step closer to going off the edge of the towering skyscraper. The cold wind gusts, almost prematurely knocking you off. Are you sure you want to do this? Is this what you want? Do you want to miss the rest of your life in exchange to escape the present struggles? You will miss the many years left in your life, but in you will no longer hear the screams of the poor people you crashed into two weeks ago. Now it almost seems as if you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by jumping. You inch forward, your toes hanging off the crumbling edge. This is it.
“Wait!” Suddenly, you feel a hand clasp onto your hand. It pulls you back to solid footing. The hand is soft and wrinkled, but firm. You look up to see an older looking man, about 50 years old with a refined gray-ish white beard. He’s well dressed in a black suit with a dark blue tie. You notice a scar across his right eye.
“Why don’t you step on down son?” his deep, calming voice states. “Let’s sit down and talk for a bit.”


“O-O-Okk- Okay,” you stammer.


“Let’s start off slow, what’s your name son?” he politely asks.


You slowly murmur,“A-Andy, Andy Johnson.”


“What brings you out here on this cold night Andy?” he questions. “It surely can’t be because of anything good.”


“I’d prefer we just don’t talk about it sir,” you say shamefully, “it’s really personal. Also, you probably already know what I did,”


“I don’t believe I have. Now, Andy, I’m an ex-convict turned to pastor and a father of 2 kids and one just passed away. Nothing you say can possibly surprise me. You can trust me. Just start by telling me a little about yourself,” insists the man.


“I recently turned 24. Ever since my teen years, I’ve had problems. It all started when my father lost his job at Home Depot,” you recall. “After he lost his job he got really abusive and took to drinking, taking out his rage on the whole family. He especially took it out on my mother. This infuriated me…..”


“I understand son, my father was the same way. Well, back when I had him around. Anyways, is it alright if you tell me more? I understand if you don’t want to,” he calmly pleads.


“Sure. My father kept getting worse and worse, making my anger and depression get worse and worse. Eventually, I snapped. He was just about to hit my mother and that’s when I fought back. I punched him right across the face, knocking him out cold. Watching his body hit the ground was the greatest sight I ever saw. One problem with this though, was that I couldn’t bear to see his face again. So, I left. Just two days before my 18th birthday, I was on my own,” you remorsefully recall.


“Wow, that’s pretty rough,”What did you do once you were on your own?” he questioned.


“For the next year I just got by,” you state. “I traveled across America, doing odd jobs to keep my stomach from hunger. During this time I developed a craving, a craving to find an escape from my past. In order to cure this intense craving, I turned to alcohol. At first I drank only a little bit, but then it consumed me. I couldn’t stop, my body needed it. I went weeks without a solid meal, completely malnourished. The worst thing is that it didn’t stop at just alcohol, I tried meth. The high meth gave me let me escape from all my problems. I didn’t need anything else, as long as I had alcohol and meth I could get by.”


“And that brought you here? Did you just continue to spiral down? Or did something else happen to bring you to this point?” questioned the man.


Reluctantly, you continue,“I spiraled even more out of control, digging my own grave. I was now dealing drugs, sleeping with women all 7 days out of the week and I started to gamble all my money away. Because of these addictions, I got in a terrible accident. It’s so horrific it’s indescribable. It just eats away at me.”


“Can you describe the accident for me Andy?” he pleads, “I understand you may be ashamed of your past, but you need to let go.”


“Well, I was drunk, extremely drunk. As I swerved down the road I dashed in and out of traffic, barely avoiding any object to cross my path. I was 1 block away from my apartment, only 1 block, when it happened,” you say as you tear up.


“What happened Andy?” the man questions.


“I crashed into car and it wasn’t just any car. It-it was my sister’s car.. It gets worse..It wasn’t just her, she had 4 other friends in the car too. The worst thing is that I was the only survivor. I have been relentlessly harassed by the media. I haven’t been able to sleep in days because of it; I just keep having flashbacks back to the accident. It’s terrible. I felt the only way to was to take my life also, just as I took theirs. So, that brings me here. Right below us is where it all happened.” You start to sob uncontrollably. You feel the man put his arm around your shoulder, giving you the first hug you’ve had in a little over 6 years.


“Andy, it’s never too late to change. You are more than your past struggles. Sure, times are hard now, but it will get better I promise you. I understand what you’ve done, and you’re going to have some jail time in front of you. People will harass you for years to come, but it will stop. God is always there for you. He’s like the moon, even though its dark, His light is there to guide the way. I was just like you, Andy Ray Johnson, lost without a way, but I found my way and that was through our savior Jesus Christ. I’m going to leave you a special present, it’s the first and only Bible I’ve ever had. This book is all you need Andy. Follow this book and your past debts will be forgotten and you will have eternal life in heaven.”
“Wait!” you exclaim. “I’ve never had anyone else to talk to. It’s been nice to talk to someone and let my past emotions out. Thank you for talking to me Mr…..”
“Johnson, and no problem Andy. Take care of yourself now,” he yells as he walks off.


The man sets the Bible down and walks off. You open up the front cover and find this message: “DEAR ANDY, I know I wasn’t the greatest father to you. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. Please use this book I gave you and take God’s word to heart. He will get you through these tough times in your life. I love you and God bless, sincerely, ANDY JOHNSON SR.”