At four o clock I woke up, looked at my alarm wondering why the hell im not sleeping, I remember this because it was just like any other morning. too bad today I died….
So I sat up and put on my shoes, the ones with the hole in the side from where I had worn them every morning for two years. Paying no notice to the seventeen missed calls on my phone, I walked out the door.
Like every morning I passed 50 some houses, 12 dogs and too many parked cars to count. If u cant tell, im a bit compulsive. And when returning home, I did what I always do, checked my stocks, the news -- world of course; and took my morning shower.
I have white towels that never move. They have only been touched once, which was when I first bought them. Never washed, never used. Simple clean white, just how I like them. Perfectly even, I measured.


my hair combed over slightly, a quarter left from the center actually, my suit, as always pressed neat and tight, my shoes polished nicely. I wear this everyday, simple clean, black, just how I like it.

Then I grasp for my briefcase, which contains six blue folders one red folder three black pens and 38 business cards, like it always has. Simple clean, neat—just how I like it. Then I head out the door to the subway. It takes me 26 minutes to get there, I’ve timed.

I sit down my briefcase, there where I always do, standing where I always do -- a foot from the forth beam to the right and 5 inches forward from that on the platform, awaiting my train.

Looking straight ahead wondering about the possibilities of forgetting to turn off the lights, I take notice to my feet. Something I have never done before.
------ Then I jump in front of the train.