I blink. Since when did I ever have a gun in my hand? It wasn't there before. Do I remember picking it up? I don’t remember. I don’t remember. I’m standing a few feet away from a guy. An innocent guy. A handsome guy. Where am I? It doesn’t make sense. I need to think. What was the first thing I remember doing yesterday? Think Harley, think.
   I open my eyes and stare into darkness. I glance at my alarm clock. Four a.m. I remember going to sleep at six p.m. It isn’t right that I still feel tired.
   I get up lazily and sore wandering why I’m not tired. I walk into the kitchen and go to the fridge. I drink some juice, hoping I’m not sick. I hear the kitchen door swing open. My mom walks into the kitchen, dragging her feet, and asks me what I’m doing awake. “I couldn’t sleep,” I murmur under my breath. It surprises me when she just nods and walks back to bedroom. She would usually ask concerned questions like, “What time did you go to bed?” or “What happened?” But she… gave me my space. I’m confused; this doesn’t make sense at all.
   I take a long, cold shower to wake myself up better. I brush my teeth. I get dressed. I straighten my hair. It’s not the most interesting morning, but I’m not myself.
   It’s a long while of waiting, but the bus finally stops in front of my house. I get on and sit next to my friend, Selena. “Did you do the math homework?” I hear her, but I don’t reply. I pretend to ignore her because of my music. She pulls the earphone out of my ear and asks, “Harley, are you okay?” Silence. I try to fight it. Nothing.
   We get to school and Selena eats breakfast, I don’t. After that, we go our separate ways to our first period classes.
   All of my classmates crowd around me as if I’m suddenly popular, except now, everybody is silent, and I am now the center of attention. “Harley, why were you on the news?” asks my lab partner, Ivey. I feel my face go blank. All I can think is, the news? When and why was I on the news?  Silence. I am soundproof after that question. I’m not me. I can’t talk. I want to talk, but I can’t. A tear finds its way out my eye and drips from my face onto my journal.
   I remember school, but I can’t remember exactly what happened. I remember Ivey joking around with Selena about who chews more like a cow than Raven. I remember Robin telling Bruce she’ll miss him when he moves. Little chunks of my school day pop into my head. Now I’m at home. My mom and dad are at work just like every day when I come home from school.
   I’m not eating; I’m not hungry. I’m not occupied, yet I’m not bored. I just sit here, thinking, drifting slowly into my sleep...
   I wake up to the smell of stroganoff, my favorite, and stumble to my feet to get to the kitchen. Mom is cooking the pasta in her favorite frying pan. “How was your day Harley?” It’s almost as if she’s making fun of me, but it’s just a harmless, concerned question. I can’t answer “Good,” I blurt out with a sigh. I’m not really lying, because I can’t really remember, and the things I do remember are good memories of today. Please don’t ask what I learned todar; I fight the urge to stay quiet to tell myself, she’s my mother. “If you want you can start serving yourself and… eat.” “Kay thanks.” My voice even sounds different than this morning when I lied to mom, when I told her I couldn’t sleep. It’s about four o’clock p.m. I’m eating, I’m not hungry though. What’s wrong with me?  Maybe it’s puberty, but I thought it would be the other way around.

   I finish my food and clean up a little. I walk into the living room. My mom’s sitting on the couch, watching TV, surfing through the channels. I sit next to her. “What?” She asks, as if I want something. “Harley why are you so quiet?” I shrug. “Is it because of the break in?” My eyes widen. “Because of what happened to dad? I thought school would take your mind off of that…” I go brain dead for a second. “What happened to dad?!” Silence. “Is he dead? Are we on our own now?! Aren’t we supposed to be in the witness protection program-” I am interrupted by a slap across the face. I rub my cheek. Silence. “You really don’t remember, do you? Your father tried to protect us and he died trying to keep those goons away from us and they shot him. The police came right on time. And we were supposed to be in witness protection program, but I refused because I knew they would want to separate us.”

   I storm into my room. I lie on my bed staring at the white popcorn ceiling and think. Break in? Dad? Why? If people are like that with people, I’ll be like them to show them how it feels to be helpless, and traumatized like people like me and mom. I would do it … no. I shouldn’t.
   I get up and walk out of my room. My mom is asleep. Perfect. I grab the kitchen knife mom never uses.
   I walk out of my house, quietly so that mom doesn’t hear me and walk onto the sidewalk. I go to the drug store to buy a ski mask. I take bus 216, downtown, but I go to the kinds of houses that are poor so I know they’re helpless. I stop at 8714 Dulce Lane. I put my ski mask on. They look completely helpless.
Is stop in front of the beaten, old house. Maybe I should just turn back, I’m being stupid. But I need to let everyone know the new me. The new Harley Quinn. The new murderer in town.
   I charge through the door. I look around to make sure somebody’s at home. A man walks up to me, slowly. He has a gun in his hand. I tackle him and we both fall onto the floor. I take the gun from his hand and shoot. His eyes roll back. I close his eyes with the back of my hand. I stumble to my feet when I hear the flop of somebody’s shoes. I hide behind a wine shelf. The sound gets closer and closer. I go for it. I tackle the tall, skinny woman. I stab her right in the throat. Now she can’t scream or talk. I stab her in the heart and her eyes roll backwards into her head. I take off my mask and wipe some blood off of my hands and the floor.
   I go across the hall into what seems like a teenager’s room. He’s helpless alright. But I see his face. And he sees my face. I've seen him before at my job. I took his order. We laughed together And time stops. I killed his family. And I have to make it up to him.