We’re all different, different height, different color race, hairs curly or straight, wavy or puffy, fat, thick, skinny, in the middle, big from the front, small from the back. Each a different fruit shape, some are pears, some are apples, and others are bananas. Spanish, French, English, or Italian; choose to go left, or go right. Go south, north, east, or west. You can be the quietest, then loudest, the wildest, the smartest, the one that doesn’t mess with anymore, or the class clown; you’ll be judged by everyone and everything, You’ll be picked on no matter what, you’ll never please anyone, no one will think you’re perfect. You can be judged or be the judge. You can fight about it, or wake from it.



She was in the fifth grade when she found out who she really was. She was my best friend; her and I knew each other like we were one. She fell, I felt it, she cried, I cried, we were like one person, in two different bodies. She was short, and kind of chubby, she was afraid of public speaking, she didn’t think boys were ugly, she just didn’t show much interest in them. She had many friends, but only hung out with the once that had been with her since kindergarten.


It was the summer of fourth grade, just months before she entered fifth grade, only a year away from middle school. Her mom had gone on vacation for the summer and she stayed with her dad, sister, and two brothers. Her mom had left with her baby sister, her sister in law, and her nephew; they were suppose to come back in two weeks, but ended up coming back till September. She spent most of her days cleaning, on the computer, not much from a 10 year old to do. She didn’t have a phone, didn’t have a Facebook, or any other thing now a days little 10 year olds have.



One day, she called me and asked me to come over her house, she said “Hannah and Jennifer are also going to be here, my sister isn’t going to be home, so I guess we can watch a movie or play with the water hose.” But that day, unfortunately, I couldn’t go; I was stuck baby sitting for the afternoon. She told me she would call me the next day so she could tell me how the day went, and to see if maybe she could come over, since she was all alone, and had no one to play with.


This is where my best friend calls me and tells me what happened, that summer afternoon, when I couldn’t go, and she found out who she really was. The phone rang at around 12, right after I was alone in the house.



“Hello?” I said.



“Hey, Amelia, it’s me!” She replied.



“Oh, hey, sorry I didn’t recognize your voice.”



“It’s okay, so guess what happened yesterday!”



“Tell me!”



“Well at the end, Jennifer wasn’t able to come either, she got sick, and she was throwing up. But, well, Hannah came, and well first we were watching a movie, and than we started dancing, and watching videos on YouTube. Well than we got really bored and we went to play outside with the hose, than we came back inside, and showered. When we finished, we were sitting on my bed watching TV, when she tells me if I wanted to play truth or dare. I said sure, we began to play, daring each other to do random stuff, when she dared me to kiss her.” She kept quiet for a few seconds, and so did I, I didn’t know what to say. “Well than, we kissed. And well Amelia, I kind of liked it.”



I didn’t know what to say and all I said was “Look, you can be anything you want to be. You know you’re like my sister, and I’m here to support you, through good and bad.”



“Thank you, well I have to go now, Hannah’s here, she came over again.” She hung up the phone before I could say another word.



I don’t really know what happened that day Hannah went over again, but when we started school again, she and Hannah never spoke during the whole fifth grade year. They were distance, and when they were paired up together, they never met eyes, they cold to each other.


“I like girls, Amelia.” was the text I woke up to the first day of middle school; followed by “I don’t know how it happened. It’s a sin. I’ll understand if you don’t want to be friends.” I was too shocked to reply back, I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know how she felt about it. I decided I’d talk to her in school, I knew we had classes together, so we could have time to talk about it.



“Hey, sorry I couldn’t text you back. I woke up late and I had to do my hair and everything. But well do you still want to talk about it?” I asked her, kind of nervous, with a shaky tone in my voice. I didn’t know how she was going to take it.


“I like girls, I confessed it to my mom, and look what she did.” She showed me her arms; she was wearing a long sleeve blue shirt, with bracelets. When she uncovered her arm, she told me, “She beat me. She says it’s a sin, I’m going to hell Amelia!” I just held her while she cried, I didn’t know what to tell my best friend, I can’t tell her everything will be okay when I know her parents are very strict with their religion, I cant tell her I know how she feels, because I don’t. I just held her until she pulled away and said, “What do I do now?”


“Are you sure you feel that way about girls? How do you know?” I asked her, kind of nervous she was going to break down again.



“Hannah, she was the one that proved it to me. She was the one that made me feel this way. I didn’t just wake up one morning and felt this way, I felt this way long before, I was never into guys, I never wanted anything with them. I always thought girls were pretty, I didn’t decide to be this, it just happens.”


“Well, I’m always going to here for you, no matter what. I just want you to know that you’re not going to hell, He is your Father, and He knows that you didn’t mean to be this way. He will accept you for you, and when the time comes, you will be in paradise with Him.” That day I got home and I told my mom everything that happened with my best friend. She told me she would try to have a little reunion with some of the parents, to tell them that they should be parents, and accept their child the way they are.


“Hey, Amelia thanks for all your words today. I just wanted to say, I love you, and you’re an amazing friend. I’m not sure if just maybe He will accept me to be with him, but I hope He does, I hope heaven’s doors are opened for me. I hope my mom was wrong, and I don’t go to hell. But either way, ill find out soon. I wont be able to text you and tell you. But I’ll find a way to communicate with you, okay? Don’t ever have another best friend, and whatever you do, just know that sometimes it happens.” she texted me at 8:35pm, Thursday, August 21, 2007. She hung herself, in the closet, just minutes after she pressed send.


I lost my best friend, over what she was, because her own blood judge and beat her. She didn’t choose to be that way, it just happens. She found a way you know, she found a way to tell me He accepted her, He thought she was perfect, and I found a way to tell her, no one will ever take her place. Things just happen.