I feel like I'm knocking on doors that are never going to open
I keep following the same pattern and retracing the same steps
sadly knowing that there's no way no path for me that's already been arranged.
I'm walking thru a forest of regret, fears and tears that have been built inside of me for the past few years
I'm trying to rise above the surface
I'm trying not to drown
My breathing is getting heavy
And my heart is sinking down
I just want to be saved
I just want to be loved
I want someone to hold me and to tell me that everything is going to be alright
Must be the wrong timing for all of that cause no one seems to get the point and no one seems to help maybe I'm the problem and it's time for me to say goodbye.
No more little cuts here and there
No more little beads of blood running down my veins
No more tears spilled every night
No more fears and sleepless nights
And hopefully maybe now everyone will truly understand who I am.
Everyone seems to see what they want or need
But never really me
Me with all my weakness and sadness with my never ending list of problems and causes
Me just simply me
Born in the wrong era in the wrong family in the wrong place
Never having the right answers to the questions that eat me inside over and over again
There's beauty in this world I once heard somebody say and I've seen beauty almost everyday but beauty is deep within somewhere in your thoughts and your misery.
beauty is the strength you find when you can't do it anymore beauty is throwing away the blade that helped you even more than anybody on this earth.
I find it beautiful when your whole world is crumbling down, when your lost in darkness but you smile anyway and live that day as if it were your last because you know how it feels to be a step closer to God.
It's having the power to say I'm okkay and knowing that you don't need anyone in order to be saved cause you can do it all alone after all you've been doing it over and over again since the time that you were born!!