Often, I stop moving, talking or interacting at all to ask myself: "Is the way I'm living going to determine what becomes of my mind after my body dies?"
I've asked myself this subconsciously

because I haven't, until now, come up with the words to describe the uncertainty of fate after death.
I question whether my actions have been merely innocently experimental of my limitations or have some actions truly doomed me to one of the many concepts of hell fabled by mankind since the start of our lives on earth. Maybe some of these actions have simply broken laws of morality still in question by the average conscientious objector.
Laws that may or may not just be the ever-warping, imperfect judgment of society.
There is a type of people, a majority of the population that is limited to follow the guidance of society. Though they are vital to and the majority of; the very idea of society, that is the human nature of surviving in groups; the majority is destined to follow a lead so long as they live.
As the human mind develops and passes on its lesson of knowledge up the genealogical tree, society as a whole develops, also.
Evolution of the human mind is constant. It is slow, but constant.
Every million or more people born into the world, there is at least one who is given instinct to refuse leadership. Furious against the idea of being led through the stages of their life by an equal mind, they resist the doubts and objections of both the uncommon leader and the common follower.
Followers, to them, are scared that the recklessness of a dangerous mind could jeopardize the proper evolution of the majoring human mind. After all, to date, the leaders and their ideas have brought their people to where they are now. Miserable or not, the people are still alive and owe their survival and evolution to minds able to lead in contemplation; the answers to lifes simpler questions. Those questions which will eventually, in their answering, pyramid to the revealing of man kinds greatest mystery.
When somebody decides that they cannot follow, but must lead, they walk a tight rope that dangles over mockery and even spite from all of society.
The somebody must prove their reliability by fulfilling the purpose that appears to them in their faith. Whatever it is that they have faith in, or are trusting as truth, cannot be proven by faith alone. As faith never has and never will make sense.
Until the object of faith is declared true by witness of the society, the faith and its purpose is unidentifiable by the new leader, in his dangerous mind, to anything ever proven before. Something left unwitnessed and questionable is always open for review. The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence; that is the fuel of faith.
Daily, neighbors gossip to each other that our advancements have been seen to their full potential and that we are to glide into eternity upon the back that has most recently given us confidence that tomorrow will not start without our species, as it so clearly didn't this morning or on any morning before it.
Followers commonly give credit of survival and knowledge to calculated tactic of a genius, never the boundless risk of a liberated spirit. However, as anybody that has ever examined the threads of perception through the ages knows; calculation is but what sums a theory in retrospect and proud conclusion after being argued with risk, to the masses of people being led.
Followers will never believe until they see; naturally to avoid a flaw in survival and evolution by means of their own democratic wisdom.
Until better ideas or theories are to be authenticated by all means of logic, the most recent, modern manifesto will suffice.
Eternally, though man kind waits for the answer to his greatest wonder: Why am I here?
From knowing that the answer to this question is the greatest desire of the human race, leaders of all types have prematurely set up a vague ultimate answer that remains to not be entirely understand because of its many elements of faith not yet ripened by the answers to finer questions.
All questions, thus, are blindly lead to a theory that does not answer man kind his purpose but rather spawn even more questions still.
The ultimate theory and hopeful answer has long taken the face of various but similar concepts of heaven, hell and how they mark our destiny.
Each concept of heaven and hell is ruled by its own set of morals that appear to, but hardly so, rebuke those of other concepts.
Every moral, as well, is undergoing regular revision by thinkers and spread as news by gossip.
Truly, nobody knows what things we do today will be considered wrong tomorrow or what spite we have in present will in the same turn of time and revision be proven to be acceptable by means of fresh understanding.
One might mention that there are other theories of a great answer that do not include a heaven or hell of any kind. That is true and I'll say that I use heaven and hell as an example of attempts at answering man kind his greatest question.
All theories however, can always be updated and eventually discarded after expiring under the weight of doubt. As every form of questioning is expired and replaced by a new array of belief that has proven a deeper set logic, there is evolution in the human species.
Means of survival and well being in direct relativity to technology, government and morals, are at a constant slant. Unfortunately, questioning and finding answers is experiment to a fate that only the dead have seen and cannot bring back news of. Only the dead know if there is such a thing as life even and if it indeed has a purpose that we so hopelessly beg to understand. That is assuming of course, that in death, any truth is yielded at all.