I wanna put your ashes on the Yellowstone, floating like a Wolff on top of the water, a yellow Royal Wolff as soft as a sheep. I wanna throw you out as far as I can and watch the current carry you away…perhaps chasing that ever-elusive stick. I want you in my yard floating away, my mom’s whistle can’t bring you back anymore, you can’t just lope around the corner anymore, the only jingle I ever hear is your collar every time I hit a bump, your incessant panting is replaced by my sputtering truck, instead of a wagging tail, all I have is a pendulum of emotions in my gut. Two days ago, you didn’t know it was gonna end tomorrow; yesterday, you didn’t think about today; and today didn’t think yesterday was the end…no more opening the door by yourself and sneaking in, no more of your click-clacking paws on the kitchen floor as you sniff for food- Those memories rushed back as I felt your heart fade, your final breaths were labored- as if you were retrieving a stick and you had to keep the water out of your mouth. That shot made everything harder, that shot took me back, that shot was the worst thing I’ve ever seen…the last beat of your heart came with a crash of your head on the table…I took off your collar and all the memories along with it. All I wanna do now is go home and watch All Dogs Go to Heaven.
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