Unconscious | Teen Ink

Unconscious MAG

August 26, 2008
By Samaiya SILVER, Medellin, Other
Samaiya SILVER, Medellin, Other
7 articles 0 photos 9 comments

There was a dead girl in front of the library this morning. She was breathing, but she wasn’t alive. Whatever existence she’d had during her few years – I calculated she was around 13 – certainly wasn’t life. She was tossed carelessly on the trash-­littered sidewalk in front of a boarded-up doorway, drugged and utterly unconscious of the world around her. The filth and stench of the city were caked into her skin. She seemed part of the garbage she was ­lying in.

My home in Medellín, Colombia, has a lot of poverty. I’m used to seeing dirty, starving children begging in the streets, unkempt old men sleeping ­under newspapers, and hopeless teen­agers forgetting their pain in glue and needles.

But this … this was different.

The girl’s clothes were pulled high above her chest, ugly testimony to what had been done to her the night before. Person after person walked by. Boys leered. Children gaped and were pulled away by mothers who wrinkled their noses and quickened their pace. Not once did I see a trace of caring.

I knelt down and shook her gently.

She stirred and turned her head to me, and a grimace flashed across her face. I realized she was no child. All concept of age was erased from my mind. Perhaps she was barely a teenager; perhaps she was as old as humanity.

“Señora,” I said softly. A fly alighted on her cracked lips, and I brushed it away. Still she did not wake. I don’t know why I cared. Certainly no one else did. But I couldn’t leave her like that. I couldn’t. I should cover her. I reached out to pull down her shirt but retracted my hand. I had no right to touch her.

I knew what I had to do.

Even as I pulled the sweater over my head, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to give my favorite sweater to someone who would just sell it for drugs. I didn’t want to care. But it was too late. Once you open your eyes and see reality, you can’t close them again that easily. And even though I wished I didn’t care, I did. She was a girl, my sister in ­humanity, a person just like me. God have mercy on us both.

I draped the sweater over her. The pulsating noise of the street suddenly quieted. The outside world ceased to exist, and a deafening ­silence enveloped us. Time slowed. The moment seemed eternal. We were the only ones in the universe – just me, the girl, and the dark blue sweater fluttering down in slow motion.

I had the sensation you get when you pull the sheet over the face of a corpse and say, muerto esta. The last fold of cloth settled on the gray cement, and suddenly time was once again going. I heard the rushing cars at my back, felt the burning sun, and smelled the filth. Nothing had changed.

I got up too quickly, nearly losing my balance. I needed to get away.

“La felicito,” an old man, who had apparently been watching me, said in congratulations. “Is it a little girl? So sad, so sad. What a shame.”

“Yeah … I don’t know,” I mumbled, hurrying away, horribly embarrassed that I’d been seen. Supposedly, when you do a good deed, you get a warm fuzzy feeling inside. But all I felt was a deep, aching sadness.

I used to believe those heart-warming stories about how people’s lives were changed by some small act of kindness. If this were one of those ­inspirational stories, years later we’d meet again. She would have risen from her poverty and pain, achieved success, and been converted to some nice religion. I’d be down about something, perhaps thinking that my life was worth nothing. On an impulse I’d step into a church and – voilà! – she’d be there giving her testimony about how she’d lived a totally empty and meaningless existence until her life had been changed by the act of a caring stranger who had covered her with a sweater.

And then I’d get up, with tears in my eyes, and shout, “I am that stranger!” And we’d hug and become best friends and I’d go home completely happy in the knowledge that my life had been good for something after all.

But this isn’t an inspirational story. The real world isn’t that nice. When the girl came out of her stupor, she probably wouldn’t even notice the sweater or wonder where it had come from. She’d use it to get more drugs. That night she would again sell her body and her soul, and the next day she would once more lie on the street with her shame open to the world. And my feeble act of caring would be worth nothing.

I headed down the street and sud­denly, to my disgust, found tears running down my face. I dashed them away, not knowing whether I was crying for that girl, my favorite sweater, or the fact that no one had cared.

I thought of the Jesus I’d been taught about in church. He would have cared, I think, if he’d been there. But he wasn’t there. I wished he were. It hurt.

People at church would tell me that he was there, that he’d cared through me.

I sighed. Maybe. Maybe.

But all the way home, the pain ­remained.



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This article has 482 comments.


on Aug. 1 2010 at 8:36 pm
WackyJackie BRONZE, Bedford, New Hampshire
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!"

This was an amazing story. I think it was the perfect way to end it, tying it into religion.

on Aug. 1 2010 at 3:54 pm
chocolatkiss1013 SILVER, New York, New York
9 articles 0 photos 10 comments

Favorite Quote:
But paradise is locked and bolted, we must make a journey around the world to see if a backdoor has perhaps been left open

I love this story, it 's true that those inspirational stories hardly happen in the real world and the way you explained it was beautiful and touching

on Jul. 31 2010 at 8:32 am
BrandieTamerian BRONZE, Oak Park, Michigan
1 article 0 photos 5 comments
Your tone and writing style is beautiful. I'm no expert, but this is exceptional!

on Jul. 30 2010 at 3:54 pm
alley2cute SILVER, Lombard, Illinois
8 articles 1 photo 7 comments

omg, this made me cry. things that are true, things that really happen most people ignore but the lies, fairy tales most people pay attention. well open ur eyes and notice that shit like dis happens all the time. child abuse, murder, homeless people. etc.

=(


on Jul. 28 2010 at 8:22 pm
silence-is-loud GOLD, Chicago, Illinois
10 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE A BEE- MUHAMMID ALI

This article was absolutly... life-changing in a few words.

on Jul. 26 2010 at 4:48 am
iluvuiluvunot, Tacoma, Washington
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.&quot;Ect....<br /> -Marianne Williamson

Absolutley Beautiful ! It Was Deep And Now I HAve A Really "Butterfly-ey" Feeling In My Stomach 'Cause That's Just Heartbreaking. Very Well Writen I'm Glad Your Article Mad It This Far ! Keep It Up ! *(:

on Jul. 25 2010 at 9:04 pm
MercedesXO DIAMOND, South Easton, Massachusetts
52 articles 0 photos 280 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;I realize that life is risks. It&#039;s acknowledging the past but looking forward. It&#039;s taking chances that we will make mistakes but believeing we all deserve to be forgiven.&quot; <br /> -The Dead Tossed Waves.

Very well written, and extremely touching and painful story. For too many people in this world, that is the reality. I thought the sweater was a great contributor to the story, and the message that it sent. "Someone does care, even when you don't." That's what i got from it. Nice work. The only thing i would suggest or give for constructive critisism is the ending. I felt, personally, as though the story was lacking something "more" at the end. I'm not sure what, only that I expected something different. But altogether great job!

I'd love for you to check out my work and tell me what you think:)


on Jul. 25 2010 at 7:37 pm
polyprincess16 SILVER, Tracy, California
7 articles 0 photos 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

This was so sad and heartbreaking, but it was extremely well written. i loved it, and it made me want to cry to see how sometimes the world cares so little about something other than themselves. i was truely touched.

aubreykianna said...
on Jul. 24 2010 at 9:38 pm
wow that was deep

on Jul. 22 2010 at 2:35 pm
KirstynAlexandra PLATINUM, Baltimore, Maryland
24 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
\&quot;I\&#039;m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can\&#039;t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don\&#039;t deserve me at my best.\&quot;<br /> &mdash; Marilyn Monroe<br /> <br /> Imagination is more important than knowledge...<br /> Albert Einstein

I really loved the story. It was really touching! :)

on Jul. 19 2010 at 9:07 am
wind.and.rain.again BRONZE, Amherst, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 50 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;What is it you wish to do with your one wild and precious life?&quot; Mary Oliver

this is amazing writing and an amazing story. thank you for sharing a peice of real life and for helping a girl even if you thought she wouldnt care. if that was u who did that u are a very kind spirited and courageous person. i also loved how u said "once you open your eyes and see reality, you can't close them again that easily"

NatalieB. GOLD said...
on Jul. 15 2010 at 12:27 am
NatalieB. GOLD, Loudon, Virginia
12 articles 0 photos 61 comments

Favorite Quote:
Make your own lines, and color outside of them.

This was just beautiful. The hideous stains of reality, knowing that the miracle may not happen at all. You are an amazing writer and I hope you continue.

on Jul. 13 2010 at 1:51 pm
babigerl1194 PLATINUM, Margaretville, New York
23 articles 10 photos 155 comments

Favorite Quote:
wat doesnt kill you only makes you stronger

chills. i got chills. its nice that you cared and its nice you kept it realistic and honest. amazing. bravaaa.

on Jul. 13 2010 at 2:36 am
JamieStarr GOLD, Sevierville, Tennessee
11 articles 0 photos 54 comments

Favorite Quote:
o! thats why i love you. :) i love you.

this was very nice i got drawn in to it i think that it was very kind of you to do that to the girl. keep up the good work flecita ;)

on Jul. 12 2010 at 5:51 pm
KirbyDoodle BRONZE, Ballwin, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 5 comments
I asked because I want to see what the author was saying and what it meant to her. I didnt want to put just another "omg it was sooo amazing" comment because eventually those get old and annoying. I actually want to think about it and see what it meant to her.

on Jul. 11 2010 at 11:29 pm
bgirlnumber4 GOLD, Vancouver, Washington
11 articles 11 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself, Everyone else is already taken

Oh my god i love this article!! its is gorgeous and so Heart achingly true! keep writing!!

on Jul. 11 2010 at 7:57 pm
tianaxbiddy SILVER, Wareham, Massachusetts
9 articles 0 photos 48 comments

Favorite Quote:
&quot;Plot is character revealed by action.&quot;<br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> <br /> -Aristotle

OMGODDESS i love this!!!! it is an amazing piece itz WONDERFUL!!!! the first few words drawd me in and i was so focusd on it. i had to read it more than once and fell deepr in it. ITZ AMAZING!!!! LOOOOOOOOOOVE IT!!!!

on Jul. 10 2010 at 4:42 pm
allisonl97 BRONZE, =), Wisconsin
2 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
I dont really have a fav quote

why wouldn't they write this?? it was amazing!

on Jul. 10 2010 at 4:23 pm
ashbadash BRONZE, Ocala, Florida
4 articles 1 photo 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
Friends are like glue, they always stick by your side.

OMG you're article drew me in automatically. Even if she sold it for drugs or anything else God knew what you did and he won't forget it. Your "feeble act of caring" meant everything to God. He was there guiding you through and watching you and the girl. You don't know, she may of even kept it. Great work though, two thumbs up. Keep at it.

on Jul. 10 2010 at 4:21 pm
ashbadash BRONZE, Ocala, Florida
4 articles 1 photo 45 comments

Favorite Quote:
Friends are like glue, they always stick by your side.

Omg I was just brousing through articles and your just pulled me in. Even if she was going to sell it for drugs or something else and didn't know someone gave it to her out of the kindness of their heart, Jesus knew what really happened. He was there watching you and watching her he was guiding you through it all. Your "feeble act of caring" would be worth everything to Jesus and you don't know if she went and sold it, she may of kept it.