Child of Divorce | Teen Ink

Child of Divorce MAG

By Anonymous

   My family started out right. Two children, a small house, myfather bringing home the paycheck and my mother staying homeuntil she finished college. A regular "Leave it toBeaver" family - perfect. Then we changed, we lost ournormalcy. There is no such thing as a normal family anymore;it seems so common and easy to divorce these days. It seemsmost families take their own paths, and mine ended up on apath my father and I didn't suspect.

When my motherleft Dad, he was clueless. They had been married for years andhe (and I) always figured they would grow old together. Thatwasn't the way she intended it. She let him know that shedidn't want to be with him anymore, and hardened the blow bytelling him she had never loved him. Sixteen years, and shenever loved him. My family went off its path of normalcy; weall had to start over again.

My first reaction to thedivorce was, "Hey, what the heck, most of the kids in mytown have divorced parents." I thought that the wholeexperience would be kind of cool.

My ideas aboutdivorce changed. I had to make choices that made one parenthappy and the other upset. When I wanted to go to camp orsomething, I had to go to both parents and get their okay.Life seemed to get harder, trying to please everyone whilepleasing myself. I hated this new lifestyle.

Thedecision to move in with my father is one I will never regret.He helps me make good decisions because he trusts me. But mymother is still in my life; I talk with her almost daily.Right after the divorce I hated not seeing her every day, butafter six years it's getting better. I still miss how shecomforted me when I was sick or depressed.

It was yearsbefore I finally had a heart-to-heart conversation with mymother about the divorce. She remarried, and my older sisterand I experienced our own mother's wedding, something neitherof us ever expected. My mother told me why she had married myfather in the first place, "That was how it was if youhad sex before marriage back then." That was ridiculous;I know times have changed, but if you don't love someone, whyon Earth would you marry him?

When I talk with myfather about divorce, I usually sympathize with him. I can seethe hurt my mother caused him. His hurt rubs off on me; thefeeling that he was never loved by my mother makes me feelbad, and also afraid for my future. I fear I will never beloved. It scares me that the odds are against me having asuccessful marriage.

My friend Steve and I, both fromdivorced families, decided to defy the odds and make sure theperson we marry is the true one and that we stay with themforever.

My family definitely isn't normal. But whatis normal? The perfect families we see are families made up ofactors on TV. Shows make the audience think families can benormal, but most aren't. When do they have problems that takemore than one episode to solve? Why does television portraysuch unrealistic family lifestyles? And why does the audiencebelieve this portrayal of a happy, normal family can actuallyexist?

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This article has 2 comments.

i love this so much!

on Jul. 27 2011 at 12:22 am
shapeshifter56 GOLD, Cave Creek, Arizona
14 articles 0 photos 136 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain."
--Unknown Author

Wow. Awesome article. Great job. It's kind of sad, but you've gotten your point across so well.