I’d never pictured myself as a leader. Always more on the side, I was the one willing to help out but never expected to be able to do more than wait in the shadows to be told what to do. As a runner in stage crew, I accepted that fate.

Until Matt Carr came along.

At first, all of the Black Shadows (a.k.a. members of the Arrowhead stage crew) were skeptical about the new tech director. We’d never needed one before – the drama teachers had been effective enough managers. How could this tough-looking guy who wore the same baseball cap every day help us?

But as the saying goes, sometimes you just don’t know when you need something – and boy, was he the ultimate example.

Before, I’d focused on being back stage, too embarrassed to admit I had absolutely no clue how a light or sound board worked, how to use the drill without screwing up, or how to use technical terms in the theater. I’d sluggishly move along in my beloved extracurricular, not feeling like I was significant other than offering some entertaining one-liners and moving scenery without killing anyone.

But Matt showed me that I was wrong. He had never-ending patience, instantly laying out and demonstrating to me how to do something, making my confidence soar when I realized I didn’t have to rely on the boys to do the technical work anymore.

Finally, I felt comfortable learning about the intimidatingly complex lightboard (which, when he explained it, wasn’t as difficult as it looked). I knew he wouldn’t laugh at me for admitting what I didn’t know.

When I nervously stuttered out my insecurities about the possibility of being a stage manager for a show, he just shrugged, like it was no problem, saying, “You’ve got my vote.”

And soon, I was capable. While I wasn’t skilled at building things, Matt realized I could paint, setting me up with the artistic jobs and informing me if we ever had props to make in the future, he was coming to me.

The members of the Black Shadows were no longer separated by abilities or number of years in crew – we were a seamless team, all with our own strengths and weaknesses that our tech director used to the show’s advantage. We were a family ready to face anything with Matt urging us along. He became the gaff tape that held us all together.

Though his classroom may be in a workshop covered in sawdust, Matt makes sure we know our academics come first. Stage crew requires dedication, often lasting on build days until 6:30 p.m. and tech nights to 9. But as Matt often reminds us, there’s no guilt for when you just can’t devote the time you’d like.

“School comes first; you go get your stuff done. It’s no problem,” he told me once as I tried to explain my horrifying math grade.

It’s not just academics and tech crew that he advocates; he also reminds us of the simple moral standards that our crew is held to. “Leave the drama to the actors,” he told us one night, when he’d heard some gossip drifting around the theater about fellow students. “We don’t do that. The bad talk stops with the crew.”

Of course, there are the fun times too: the days he cracks up when I jump out of the curtain to scare him, the days he entertainingly argues back and forth with his roommate (also a set builder in our crew), and the days he rolls his eyes at us for penguin sliding across the stage.

I can tell you, stage crew appreciates those nights when he understands our need for family and homework time, shouting out his famous line, “Sign out and go home!” (And sometimes the extra, “No, seriously, Maryah, stop painting and go home.”)

He may only be in his twenties, but Matt’s life experience and stories astound us every tech day. We laugh about his tales from all the different theaters he’s worked for, the crazy things he’s had to build, his years in the army. It didn’t take long for Matt to become the unofficial father of the crew, making sure to always support us in our endeavors that mostly included not destroying things.
In no way is he the touchy-feely sort of guy, but anything anyone may need – more paint, more of his time to watch over you when you want to stay longer, someone to rant to when you’ve had a bad day – Matt shows his caring by being there for us. He is not only our authority figure, but our confidant, our general of the Black Shadow army, and our friend.

I am capable. I am ready to be the leader I never thought I could be. And it all started with Matt.