This is Jordan K reporting live from S------- middle school. Today on this beautiful Wednesday afternoon, a group of rampant students attacked a helpless science teacher out on playground duty. This teacher was tapped to the basketball hoop, and then poked and laughed at for several minutes until other teachers arrived. The Principle said this was the first time something this inane has happened at our school. He was shocked his students would ever act in this manor.
“We have always prided ourselves upon teaching the proper ethics to our students, and felt we had successfully gotten through to them” the principle informed us. The principle also went on saying that he had clandestine information about who the main culprit might be, but would not reveal any names. Finally we were able to speak to the teacher that was viciously attacked.
“Once I saw this group of children charging at me screaming at the top of their lungs, I knew I was in for some trouble” the teacher said. “It was quiet flagrant I wasn’t going to be able to stop this massive group of students because they out numbered me one to twenty. I tried to run but I was under such great duress there was no where to turn. Finally they got a hold of my legs, and tapped me up. I tried bargaining with them, saying I would let them out of school early every day if they would let me go. It was useless because they were so inexorable there was no chance of being let free” the teacher explained.

After speaking to several local families I have been advised to admonish anyone whose child is attending this school or if anyone is planning on sending their child here. Crime rates all over America are going up, and not just for adults but for our children as well. Maybe it’s the T.V. stations our children are watching or maybe it’s the videos games they are playing, but something is teaching them to act this way. I concur that something needs to be done not just in our cities and neighborhoods, but also in our schools to prevent these crimes. This is Jordan K reporting live from S------- middle school.