It was a sunny, cloudy day when my mom said that she was pregnant. I remember this day like the palm of my hand. I was six years old when this happened. My mom started having contractions at the beginning of February and she knew the baby was coming. One day, my dad, my mom and I were sitting on the sofa in the living room watching Netflix, and suddenly my mother began to move as if she were possessed by a ghost or something.

    My mother was crying and my dad and I ask her if something was wrong and she told us while crying “The baby is about to be born.”Quickly my dad grabbed my mom from her shoulders and took her to the car while I helped him bring the car seat to the car. Quickly my dad drove us to the nearest hospital. He had taken us to the Cruz Roja hospital or Red Cross hospital ( I knew this because there was a giant red cross sing in front of the hospital). After we got to the hospital, my dad called all his and my mom's family to tell them that my mom was about to give birth, right away all my family came. They all came in a hurry to see the miracle. 

    I remember that after they had taken my mom to the emergency room I wanted to go with her but my dad and my family didn't let me go because they all said that it was too inappropriate for me. I was crying because I wanted to go, I remember that I was (literally) kicking my grandpa and screaming at him to let me go but he didn't instead everyone grabbed me tight from my shoulders so I couldn't escape from there. We were all waiting in the waiting room and it was boring,( I mean it) I couldn't do anything at all. I told my grandpa that I was bored and he said: "Play with your imagination, that's what I used to do when I was bored at your age”. So then I began playing and it worked. I got entertained almost the whole time we were waiting.

    After one hour everyone was expecting to have news about my mom but no. It passed two hours and no news, and finally, it passed three hours and the doctor said: “Family of Maria” and all my family responded at the same time with excitement “Yes” and then the doctor said “Maria…. I'm sorry to tell you this but....baby Maria was born dead. When she was born she didn't breath and we tried to revive her but she didn't respond.” All my family was crying so bad that they almost sank the whole hospital. I didn't cry because I don't like to show my feelings in public so I held them till I could go to the bathroom and cry. After everyone stopped crying my dad's family went to the store and bought some balloons that said “HOPE YOU GET BETTER” for my mom and my mom's family stayed with me at the hospital.

    After a while, I finally got to see my mom. All my family accompanied me to the room where my mom was. The first thing that I saw while I entered the room was that my dad was hugging my mom and he was crying and I ask him “why are was crying” and then he took me outside the room and he told me that while my mom was having my baby sister she was about to die. I ask him why? but he didn't answer. Then I went back inside and the first thing I did was run to hug my mom and kiss her on the cheek. (I could tell that my mom was exhausted and weak because she had eye bags and she had her face very yellow that she looked like the skin color of a giraffe) Then my mom told me that the doctors had to get my baby sister out her belly and they had to staple her belly and she showed me her stapled belly. (You could see that she still had a little blood in her scars)

    After I told my mom that how did she about this and she told me that my dad was always with her, there was not even one moment that my dad left my mom. With all her strength my mom grabbed me from my hand and kissed me on the forehead and hug me as tight as a monkey mom can hold its child, and whispered me in the ear “I LOVE YOU” and then she suddenly she lost her pulse and right away I called the doctor screaming out loud “!DOCTOR, DOCTOR, HELP, MY MOM IS DYING, MY MOM IS DYING!.” My dad came running as fast as he could and he saw what I've done and he went to find a doctor right away. The doctor came and my dad took me outside as if I was a piece of trash. I screamed at him “!Let me go, I want to be with my mom!” but he didn't let me go. After I was outside my whole family came running right away to where I was and ask me what had happened.

    I told them what happened and they started crying because my mom lost her pulse. After they all stopped crying we all sat on the couch in the waiting room, waiting for god news.(and again I had to play with my imagination because I couldn't do anything) It passed an hour and the doctor had great news, Maria is alive but he said that we couldn't go in because if we went in she could have a combustion. After all that stress my dad's family left because they were so tired and it was night. My mom's family and I spend the night in the hospital because we were so worried about my mom that she could have another problem, we couldn't even go to sleep that night. The next morning the doctor gave my mom permission to be released, right away my dad took my mom to the car and he gave lots of thanks to my mom's family for not letting my mom back down, then my dad took us to our house and my moms family took my sisters dead body with her white box to the pantheon.

    Halfway the road trip my mom noticed that my baby sister wasn't with us and she asked my dad where she was and the dummy me told her what had happened (that my sister was born dead) and she started to cry. My dad scolded me and I knew he wanted to hit me (I could see it in his eyes, that face of anger and that expression, you could tell really easy that he was really mad), but he didn't do it because he didn't have time and also because my mom was crying. While we were going back home I was trying to calm my mom but I couldn't. When we got home the first thing that my mom did was to go to her room, lay down in her bed and cry. My dad  and I tried to calm her down but we couldn't so my dad said: “The best thing to do is let her calm down by herself.” Minutes later I when to my mom's room to check if she had stopped crying and she was.

    She was laying down in her bed looking at the selling. I told her to come and eat because she hadn't eaten anything but she answered no. I remember that I even begged her to eat but suddenly she said while crying “I don't want to eat because I want to go to sleep, all I want to do is sleep.”After, I told my dad that my mom didn't want to eat and he didn't respond he just walked away because he was stressed out about all those things that happened at the hospital so he let me in charge. (At the bottom of my heart, I knew that my mom wanted to cry because she already had lost one child which was my twin and losing two is too much.) 

    Here I'll tell you more about my twin and what happened. (When me and my twin were about to be worn the doctors told my mom that my twin was dead inside of her because he had choked himself with the umbilical cordon and in order for my mom to  be alive she had to have me, alive and my twin dead abort because the doctors wanted my mom to be alive. The next thing that happened is that I was born, a very healthy baby weighting, not that much and my twin, unfortunately, was dead. The doctors told my mom that she had risk too much by letting me be alive and that she could of be dead by now but thanks to the god and the virgin of Guadalupe my mom and I were alive. My dad said that the birth took a lot of time because the doctors had to open up my mom's belly and take me and my twin out and after they had to clean my mom's organs because somehow they were infected and then the doctors had to staple my mom's belly to finish the seizure. ) 

Then I went back to my mom's room and asked her if she wanted to die because of my siblings dead, then she answered while crying “Yes I can't stand the loss of two children, I just can't.” After I told her while sobbing “Don't die mommy I love you, don't die please I need you, you're the only one that understands me, you're my life I'll do anything just for you mommy .” With those words, I remember that my mom kissed me on the forehead and said: “I love you too, your the only child that I have that is alive, I swear if you die I don't know what I would do.”  Then we started to hug and love each other as a family. After I went running to the kitchen to tell my dad that my mom finally wanted to eat and my dad as fast as he could he cooked a chicken with beans, rice, and tortillas. We started to eat and I remember that my mom ate a lot and told my dad that the food was good and went to sleep.

    After a little while, my aunt Griselda (My mom's sister) came to our house from Irapuato, Mexico to where we live in San Luis De La Paz, Mexico to help my dad built the tomb of my baby sister. Before my dad left he said, “Take good care of your mom while I'm gone, I'm not going to take much time.” Minutes later my mom woke up and she asks “where's your dad” I said, “He went with my tia Gris to help her out with my baby's sister grave.” She said ok but I knew that at the bottom of her heart she wanted to cry because she can't put up with the death of my baby sister. After my dad took about two hours to come back (and he said he wasn't going to take much time) and he told us to change and wear all white because we were going to my baby sister's funeral and then he told us “But hurry up because you guys have twenty minutes.”    

    After we got dressed up my dad took us to the pantheon where my dad was going to bury my little sister's body. I had taken my favorite teddy bear with me because its something that was mine to stay with my baby sister so she could play with it in heaven and because I know that she will take better care of it than me. Since I was four I named my teddy bear nana (why you ask) well because my grandma gave it to me since I was born and the meaning of nana to me is a grandma. My teddy bear is special to me because my grandma gave it to me and I love my grandma with all my heart. She's always so nice to me, she buys me toys and stuff like she will do anything for me. I remember that everyone else brought boutiques of flowers for my sister's grave but I brought my teddy bear with me. Four minutes later the father came and started blessing my sister's grave and everyone started crying, especially my mom she was crying the most. So then the time came were people could trow something valuable at my sister's grave but no one threw nothing at least they threw flowers but I was the only one who threw something valuable my teddy bear. After the man filled my sister's grave with dirt and my mom started crying a lot. 

    A few years later, my whole family doesn't want to talk about my sisters dead because they say if someone talks about my sisters dead (and I know that I am writing about her but I write it in her honor, to remember her and never forget her and to let her know that she will always be in my heart) they don't let her rest in peace. There are some things that I learned from this memory of mine. Number one, spend as much time as possible with your family. (Why I'm I saying this you ask?) well, because you never know the last time you'll get to see someone you love. In my case, I didn't know if I was going to see my mom (because you know she was going to die) so I spend a lot of time with her before she was even pregnant. The second lesson I learned was that even though people you love die (and it hurts I know) they'll be taking care of you from heaven, they will be always protecting you from whatever you're going through and they will be at your side all the time.