To my greatest love and deepest regrets,
How the thin, silver chain that bonds our hearts runs thin. Still, though, if the bond were to rupture, breaking our fragile crystal hearts, life could not go on. For all the moments of regret were thrust upon, and eventually wasted moments of our happiness. We are like two delicate earrings; one cannot be worn without the other. For if one is lost, all is lost. Though once thought an inconsiderate gift by others, their beauty together still reigns. Our lives intertwined like a precious metal chain, because as they say, life wouldn’t be so precious dear if there never was an end.
Before you it was a dismal time. I walked alone through endless corridors and dark twisting tunnels, trudging along deeper into my own dark self. No lights. No air. No mercy. There seemed to be no end but a cruel end. A “to be or not to be” end. Then, our winding paths of despair crossed. With a glance of recognition, unfolding memories of happier times were soon to be resurrected again. Our feelings were equivalent to that of a cloudy sky at first. We were unsure of each other, and ourselves. Soon however, the hard façades fell. Our love now shines like the morning sun, along with our smiles. Perhaps what they say is true; life is darkest just before the dawn.
Your arms now, and always, clasp around my neck tenderly. Their thinness matters not to me. Hair of swirling bronze, created as a sweet caramel-chocolate truffle for the eye. Your smile of shimmering, white pearls is truly a delicacy to behold. Brown eyes sparkle like diamonds, revealing a beautiful softness, providing an everlasting comfort, and a small window to the vastness of your soul. You truly possess a tender hand of love, not lust. A touch so innocent, that not even a catholic nun would take offense. Finally a heart of gold, a beacon of all good. Truthfully, you are, and always have been, the apple of my eye.
Humanity is a flawed existence and we cannot control it all. Nights were filled sorrow when you were gone, no better than living in the kingdom of Lucifer. Forgotten calls, mislead notions, and misspoken words… all born from the lingering pain within our minds. Words wrought from anger, waging wars neither of us wants to fight, and unnecessary tears shed like the blood of war; but alas this is love. We learn to forgive, and try to forget. Love is a two sided coin of joy and damnation, which is the final truth. A truth some would rather run away from, or would rather forget. A truth we both accept, and embrace with a single kiss.
One year, two months, and twenty-three days together is only the beginning to our forever. Still though, regrets overrun my soul. If only I could have been there a week earlier, to help with an untimely, tragic death, and the destruction of a family. If only I could take away all the pain from your past, and focus solely on the future of us. If only I could stop being jealous and just remember the words “Forever and always I will love you.” If only I could do something to make your life a little easier, a little bit better each and every day. If only these regrets I hold in my heart could just fly away.
I freely choose to wear this necklace of monumental weight you have gifted me; equal to that of a heavy heart at times. More often than not however, it feels as light as a feather. The weight of love is not something that can be measured with a scale, because love is not a constant. It is constantly changing.