I sat staring at the brown, swirled pattern on the laminate-topped lunch table in silence. I wasn’t a part of the exclusive conversation; instead I was stuck at the end of the table, left only to stare at their backs while everyone laughed and talked without me. The dreadful lunch period felt like forever. I sat at the table, bewildered by thoughts and worries. Here I am, ignored. I tried swallowing my food, but the lump in my throat made it tough. After what felt like an eternity, the tables were being dismissed by Mr. Liss, the vice principal. These girls, who I thought were my friends, got up and all starting walking down the hall in a cluster. No one waited for me and I was again left to the sight of their backs as they giggled and whispered in front of me. I was stuck behind all of them, with no one to talk to or laugh with, like we used to. I went straight to my locker, avoiding all of them. I picked up my afternoon binder and headed straight to my next class, full of fear of what other people thought of me and wondering what I did wrong. I’d always had friends. Now, it seemed I had none.

The rest of the day was a blur. I went home and headed straight to my room. I sat on my bed in tears. I’d been ignored for weeks and it was starting to get to me. After I managed to calm myself down, I went on and did all my school work. When I finished, I texted the group of girls in a big group chat. Maybe I’ll give this one more try, I thought. “Hey,” I texted. I sat back on my bed and waited for one of them to reply.

“Hey,” texted Alison.
“What’s up,” Elena responded.

“OMG can you like stop… K thanks bye,” wrote Molly. Her sarcasm burned right through my screen. And with that, everyone else stopped texting me, too.

I was crushed. I felt so done with feeling isolated and ignored. I was no longer her friend and I apparently wasn’t cool enough for her. But my problem was that I didn’t have any other friends and I didn’t know where I fit in. I leaned back against the back of the bed and just cried; I was just so fed up with all her snubbing and bad words about me. The next day, I fearfully went into school, trying to play off the negative message from Molly. The loud morning bell rang, my cue to go to my locker and start another day of anxiety. The morning went by fast. Too soon, I was back at the same lunch table, for I had nowhere else to go. Once again, I sat at the end of the bench with miserable feelings. I was ignored by all the girls. I walked into lunch lonely and walked out lonely. This happened almost everyday, but the whispering and mean messages got worse. The only texts I got were ones that let me know I was purposely not invited anywhere.

“Hey, Meg. Are you going to Elena’s house?”
Elena’s house? Um, noooo. Not invited.
“Molly’s mom is taking us to the mall. Gotta go….bye.”
The mall. That would have been fun. Again, not invited.

And so it went. The only time my phone lit up was to let me down.

I coped. The year dragged with the same hurtful routines happening everyday. Soon, it was “Bring Your Daughter to Work” day. I walked into school and expected all my “friends” to be there, but instead they all ditched school and all went to the city. There it was once again…the whole group was in the city and I was left behind, purposely not invited. Again. I sat through each class in the same upsetting silence. I was so done with being used and put down. I went to lunch and sat at a different table alone. I would use this as the chance to start over new. I turned around and was happy to see Alison walk in and slide down into the seat next to me. “They’re all in the city,” Alison said. “I wasn’t included either.”

“I know. It’s so annoying,” I nodded. We talked all lunch period about all they’d done to us. We really bonded and came together. We were the only ones who could be there for each other, because we knew. To the rest of the girls, we were old news. Each day, I sat with her and talked to her. I blocked all the other girl’s thoughts about me. Instead, I hung out with Alison and didn’t worry about being left out. Basically, we were both ignored and received dirty looks and comments from Molly and the rest of the group. They all listened to her complaints and orders, but Alison and I were done. We didn’t want to worry and be controlled. The horrid year came to an end. I didn’t hang out with them the whole summer. Instead, Alison and I got close to other people that were nice to everyone. I didn’t want to be thought of as a mean girl, because that is how I now saw this group.

The table and friends I am with now make me much happier than the “friends” I had last year. As a seventh grader, I’m much happier with my lunch table even though there is occasional drama. Most importantly, my back only faces a wall, not a person, because I know how that feels and my friends do too.