I grew up with my friend Brendan at the baseball fields in Golden. I remember the first time I met Brendan, we were both dragged to our older brothers baseball games. He was an outgoing, confident kid who always wanted to make others feel better about themselves. Since our brother’s played baseball almost year-round,Brendan and I became very close. He was the one I could tell all my secrets to,a friend who would support me and do the right thing. I wish I had more time with him. Brendan and I had gotten in a fight over something stupid, but none of our fights were serious.

I was walking home with my big sister, Adalina. As we walked in you could tell my parents had been crying. Thats when I realized my brother was home to. I was wondering what was going on. I could tell something was wrong. Thats when when my mom told me and Adalina to sit down.

After, we sat down Adalina asked “are you okay mom you and dad look like you guys have been crying.” My dad said “we have something we need to tell you guys…” “what is it” I said. my dad said ”Brendan has had a lot going on so he…” Adalina and Brendan were even closer than me and him. “Adalina asked so he what?.” My dad said he killed himself last night, Connor found him this morning.

All I could think about was why? why him? I thought to myself, could my parents not be telling us the truth, could Brendan have done it because of me, then I thought he wouldn’t do that it was a stupid fight. Then Adalina started to cry and went upstairs to her bedroom. I just sat there as tears ran down my face. Jackson is my brother and after my dad told us that Brendan had died my brother came and hugged me so tight.      

Jackson kept saying he didnt deserve it he shouldn’t have been the one to go. I started crying even harder I started to try to comfort my brother. Jackson and I were never close but I felt terrible for my brother. I could feel Jackson tears on the top of my head, it was the only time he had cried in front of me. Connor is Brendans older brother and Jackson was best friends with Connor. I couldn’t even imagine what Connor felt like.

    I was in the car with my grandma and sister Adalina. We were driving to Brendans funeral. As we showed up I had saw Connor and Jacksons baseball team show up and Brendans baseball team, they had all been crying, they weren’t crying at that moment but their faces were red and speckaled so I could tell. Almost all of Golden knew Brendan or Brendans family. To us we weren’t just losing a friend we were losing a family member. As the ceremony started it was so quiet all you could hear were sniffles and whimpers. After the preacher had talked Sherry went up there to say a story Brendan had written. Sherry was Brendans mom. As Sherry talked I had all these flashbacks of when I would hang out with Brendan or Brendan and his family. I didn’t hear anything Sherry said except for “ Brendan is truly our Angel in the outfield.” Thats when it was time to go to the cemetery. When everyone watched our brothers baseball team carried him out except for Connor. As they started putting Brendan in the ground his family grabbed a handful of dirt and put it on top of him. Then as people started leaving connor stood there with tears rolling down his cheeks. Connors hands were clenched together and he was very tense, he seemed very angry but upset like it was someones fault. Then Connor walked over to the car and got in to go to the ceremony.

After everyone ate we walked by the table that had pictures of Brendan my mom added a picture that she found in her picture collection and set it down next to the others. I sat with Sherry as my mom gave her that picture. Once my mom got back my mom told me to go and be with the other kids. I had found Connor all alone in the back area of the reception place. I asked Connor if he was okay he said he was fine, I knelt down next to him crying and I said you know Connor he’s not gone, he’s the angel in the outfield, everytime you step on the baseball fields, every time you feel alone hes still with you don’t forget that. After I said that he stood up and hugged me, we then went outside and joined the other kids. The reception place had a playground and baseball field outside of it. Everyone was running around and I remember Connor yelling out “The Angel In The Outfield is with us”.