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The Stress Monster: A Story of Anxiety and Triumph
It was a chilly, dark winter night. The frosty air bit my nose after every intake of breath, and noises of flying airplanes from Midway buzzed in my ears. However, the streets of Burbank were free of turmoil and the subdued lights released an eerie effect. Could this be a sign of something drastic? On that strange, peculiar day, my family and I were driving to Liberty Jr. High for the 2014 annual talent show. I was wearing my beautiful, silky red shirt and jet-black skirt to probably the most horrific night of my life.
Vroom! As we drove into the asphalt parking lot, I saw a few other contestants with their instruments in one hand and a bundle of nerves in another. We entered the monster’s lair and followed the signs of terror that led us to the multipurpose room. I soon realized that I had to go warm up in one of the designated classrooms. Before I left, my mom said,” When you’re on stage, do what you came here to do. Forget the crowd and cameras. Focus on your playing, and you will do great.”
Then, my dad told me, “ to strive for my absolute best.” Right then and there, I only wished that their advice were true.
After my parents’ encouraging words, I went into the practice room and quickly reviewed my piece. I was going to play “Canon” by Sebastian Bach on my hand-crafted violin. “Canon” has been my favorite song ever since I laid my eyes on the sheet music and merely attempted to play it. My violin teacher, Mr. Tomalski, first introduced me to this work of art. “Canon” is very calm and soothing to my ears, and every note I play is like the voice of an angel.
Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Ring! Before I knew it, it was time for me to perform on stage. Ah! A million thoughts were going through my head and were making me want to go crazy! My hands got sweaty, my knees started to shake, and my stomach was soon tied into a jumble of tangled knots. Seconds passed as anxiety, fear, and doubt engulfed me. However, there was one question that constantly came up in my long train of worrisome thoughts: how in the world would I ever be able to play with it just waiting to sneak up and attack me? How could anyone?
Extremely nervous, I could hardly stand on my own two feet. Not only butterflies, but whirring moths filled my stomach. Bang! I slowly and quietly walked up the stairs leading to the stage, yet I heard each step loud and I clear as if I were taking heavy, tired steps. In the center of the stage, a music stand along with my sheet music was taunting me as it waited for my arrival. On stage, I placed my violin correctly between my chin and shoulder. However, before I began to play, I looked everywhere for that terrible beast, but I didn’t see it. Paranoia got the best of me, and I looked back and side to side, but instead only got a headache. I took one more look forward, and through the many bright lights, all I saw were the thousands of people in their seats staring at me with contempt, and that’s when the monster struck.
What I realized is that it wasn’t an object but rather a feeling: stress. Yes, that’s the word, the attacker. Thump! Thump! I heard my heart beat faster and faster, harder and harder. Frozen, I looked like a deer in headlights. It felt as if hours passed before I finally regained consciousness. As I stared past the many people before me, I soon noticed two familiar faces-my parents. My mom was waving her hands high up in the air, and my dad, right next to her, was giving me two thumbs up. Thoughts of my parents, siblings, and friends counting on me relieved some pressure. I first counted to four. Then, in and out, I took long breaths of air. “You can do this,” I thought to myself. Gradually, I began to calm down. My hand still mildly shaking, I rose my bow and began to play. It was a bit shaky at first since my bow was constantly bouncing off of my string. A while after, note by note the song started to come along. Towards the middle, I began to gain more confidence. I vibrated each note, and with my bow I gracefully stroked every string I used. The perfect sounds escaped my violin and filled the large room. I continued playing, and suddenly I began dancing across the stage with my violin to the extravagant music as if nobody was watching. I must’ve been a dream, a place where no anxiety existed. It surely could not be possible.
I finished my last whole note, and as I looked up, I noticed that row by row people stood up to congratulate me with a standing ovation. Instead of music, the room filled with applauses belonging to a thousand hands. “Bravo, Angelika,” I thought. “Bravo.”
Click! Click! Many cameras flashed and practically blinded me. All I saw were blue and purple dots floating in the air. Although, before I left the stage, a sudden question came up to me. Where is the stress? The monster? What I realized later on is that it went away when strength, confidence, and competence made way. As I walked down the stairs, my parents greeted me with hugs and praises. “That was beautiful!” my mom had exclaimed. “ I’m so proud of you, sweetheart,” said my content dad with a heartfelt tone. “What an incredible night,” I figured. “Just magical.”
In the end, I learned that I, a timid girl, survived the attack of the stress monster. Yes, it was a long, hard battle, but I claimed victory. Bring it on stress; you don’t scare me.
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