Dear You, 

   I can try to put this into the simplest terms for you: you. broke. my. heart. From the day we met to now, I was a little skeptical, then I realized it was all or nothing. I gave my all, when you gave nothing. If i'm being honest, it's really disappointing and it hurts. After everything over the summer: the bonfire, our sleepover's, games, going to your friends houses, my friends houses, me coming to your house at eight in the morning just because you couldn't sleep all night because you didn't want to be alone, me crying in the rain with you for two hours, and espeically me taking you to my safe place. There is one moment that just keeps repeating in my head over and over again. That one night when we were crying in the rain and you didn't feel well after. You told me to go to bed because you'd be okay. I told you I wasn't going to leave you alone. Then we came inside and you went to the bathroom and said, "I just washed my mouth with soap." I asked why you did that and you said, "So I could do this." Then you kissed me. All the memories like this one just keep swirling in my head, wondering why I wasn't enough for you. What's wrong with me? I tell myself it wasn't me, that it was you, but that's just hard. Every time I think of you, I think of all the good things, then I realize you aren't mine anymore. You aren't even in my life at all, you blocked me out. Every single time it hits me all over again. Some days, I'm okay, other days I don't even think about you, but when I do, it feels like a knife to the back. You stopped texting, calling and that's when I realized you stopped caring. That's the worst part, I still sit here and wonder how you are and if you're okay. Meanwhile, you're probably out with  another girl. I miss you and I care about you, it hurts to admit it outloud, so here it is in writing. Whenever I try to think of the bad things you've done to me, it's like the good things take over my mind. It's like they cloud my mind and it sucks. I try to tell myself, "right person, wrong time," or "if it's meant to be, it will be, eventually," but I know neither of these is true. You are I weren't meant to be. If you care about someone, you don't just walk out the door. But you did. You didn't fight for me. You didn't fight for us. You just slammed the door closed, locked it and didn't turn back. Clearly you meant more to me than I did to you. You're okay now and I feel like you just used me to fix yourself and now that you're okay, you threw me away. I just don't get how it all meant nothing to you, when it meant everything to me. I just won't ever understand, any of it. And I just have to accept that. I have to accept that I'll never talk to you again, or see you. I remember our songs, and they're lyrics are embedded in my mind. All I have left is the thought of you and I together, but now we're not. That is all I have.

               Love,

                  The girl who still loves you.