“Why do you let people who have had negative effects on your life consume your thoughts?” Many times, I allowed others to dominate my thoughts, allowing the negative points in the day outweigh the positive ones. My therapist asked me this question after a family session with my sister, father, and I. It was the first time in four years I had spoken to my father.

If I was never asked this question I do not think I would have ever realized that I was doing this. You really don’t know how you think until it is pointed out to you sometimes. When she asked me this question I was unable to answer. I didn’t know why I didn’t compartmentalize my thoughts so I would focus on something else.

The therapist has been ours for seven years. We started seeing her when I hit age ten. When we started therapy I was medicated for anxiety because I was so consumed with others opinions and trying to please them. When it came to my father he always pushed me to be the “best I could be,” but many times in his eyes falling short. I was told I was not trying hard enough or I was disappointing the family, and I would let these phrases monopolize my thoughts, instead of focusing on what I was doing right.

Since being asked this question I have been able to understand this is something I need to improve upon. Now I focus more on the positive aspects happening in my life rather than the ones that would weigh me down. And in doing so I have found I am more productive because I am less easily distracted throughout the day. But most importantly, I have found out stressing about a topic you can do nothing about does nothing for you other than make your life harder.