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Memories
I’m sitting in the last row in psychology class, looking out the window, not paying attention. Watching the leaves dance in the September wind, my ear catches something interesting. I turn my head and focus on the teacher standing at the very front of the room. She says, “Your brain doesn’t remember everything. It only remembers what was important. It remembers the events that were connected to trauma or strong emotions. The insignificant details get forgotten over time.” This fact bothers me.
Things happen to you. You were there when they happened. Isn’t all that information still in your brain somewhere? Some where deep, deep within the crevasses of that 3 pound melon inside your skull, at least? Facts, memories, events, people, my life, all of that gone if it’s not important enough? This makes me want to punch my brain because there are some things that I really want to remember.
Have you ever loved something so much that you never wanted to let it go, but you knew one day that you had to? What would you do if one day that person who knows you better than anyone else was suddenly gone? Like they never existed. I know what I did. I cried. Once people are gone, they are just a memory. They are only alive inside our heads. They only exist inside our memories. And now, this psychology teacher is telling me that eventually my brain is going to forget all the times I’ve had with this person, all the conversations, all the smiles, all the jokes, the little details about their face, and even the sound of their voice? I don’t believe it. I refuse to believe it, because even if it is a proven fact that they will ultimately be erased out of my subconscious, they will always be in my conscious. I will always remind myself that they were here, a huge part of my life that could never in a thousand years be forgotten, a person who helped shape who I am today. I will constantly remind myself of the moments we had, the jokes we shared, and even the way those clear blue eyes with flecks of gold shone when they smiled. All of those times, all of that person will forever be etched deep within my soul. In the end, I just want to say one thing to my psychology teacher. No matter what happens, I will remember forever.
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