Shorts are useless in my eyes. Here is a scenario: you are hanging out with friends and feel compelled to do something stupid, and you are wearing shorts. Someone might decide to do the stupid thing anyways, whatever it might be. That person may be flying down a hill on an office chair for instance. You fall off the office chair and scrape up the entire side of your leg. It hurts very badly, and you regret doing the stupid thing for the rest of the week. If you would have been wearing pants, you may have not scraped your leg up. That is why you wear pants all year round. No matter how hot it is, I always wear pants. Pants act as a check for me in that they tell me to rethink what I’m about to do. Pants even stop me from doing things all together. If I’m wearing tight jeans, then I can’t lift my leg up to get on a bike and do anything that I may regret at a later date.

Pants are like a shield in that they repel potentially threatening things from your legs. If you were wearing shorts and it was winter, then your day would suck because you would be cold. And yes people do wear shorts in winter. They are stupid like that. If you are from west Texas like I am, you are basically forced to wear jeans because of dirt storms.

There is one exception for shorts, and those are basketball shorts. Basketball shorts are those mesh shorts that are really baggy and awesome. When you wear them, you become automatically happy, and want to go run a marathon benefitting sick kittens. When you wear basketball shorts, you can do anything and be comfy while doing it.`

I’m not saying shorts are useless, just that I have yet to find a use for them. You would be stupid to wear them when it’s cold, and people wear pants when it’s hot. I just find it hard to believe that people wear them at all. Shorts are also a nuisance to the public because some people have some unsightly legs, and when they wear shorts, they are basically making us look and make fun of them. When you wear shorts, you are basically forcing other people to be judgmental towards you. If you wear shorts that are too small, people will complain. If your shorts are too baggy, than people might think that you are a thug and want to stay away from you. Your shorts have to match everything that you are wearing, and that is just not possible.

When I said that shorts were useless, I didn’t mean it. What I meant was that there are no uses for shorts and they are irrelevant. If you want to wear something stylish and functional wear pants. Pants are better.