That's it. I'm done. I've had it. Screw the world at this point. I can't stand humanity and what it has produced. And all because of HER.
I used to be like you, a believer of hope and love and God. But each was slowly taken from me. Death had taken all those who I truly cared for, and in the words of "Chop Suey!" I ask, "Why have you forsaken me? In your eyes forsaken me? In your thoughts forsaken me? In your heart forsaken me?", and then I realized that God didn't create Man. Man created God out of weakness, as Man was frightened and couldn't empower himself, so He felt He needed help to get through this wonder called "Life." And thus God was born, but is now dead within me.
Hope died at the dawn of the Internet. Rapists and murderers now roam the Web, posting ads that catch the Flies of Youth in their Webs of Lies. Even now, my hope to become a renowned somebody is drowning due to the creation of Wireless Fidelity.
As for love... it lasted longer than both. My seaShel came back two months after I became one of the Living Dead, and we were soon after together again. We loved each other so much. I trusted her so much, as she did me. I sensed something was hiding amidst our passion, but kept quiet out of fear it could have just been my paranoia. Then came the fateful morning where my flower wished to be with another gardener. Trying to avoid pain, I willingly released her, and she promised she would return to visit. But 'twas not so. Instead, that day when I had been jumped, the day I had smashed my most versatile weapon into the face of one of three assailants and hurt him greatly, the day the horrific fears of what would become of me and the one I loved became reality... I was now labeled as "not her problem" and "a**hole" and many other things. 'twas compared to her past lads, 'twas I. A ditz and a rapist, that's who they were, and that's what I had been labeled as, never allowed to hear her voice from now on...

That was the last straw, the straw that broke the camel's back, the drop that overwhelmed the dam, the shot heard 'round.

I'm no longer a nice person. I am working my way, slowly and painfully, out of the Hell I have made. I deserve to have my voice listened to. I am picked on by those younger, and ignored by those of my like-age. I have had enough. To the people I had worked so hard to help:

TheBlackRose: He won't fall for you. If you don't wanna be called 'slut' then stop looking for boys and open your eyes to the possibility.
Niro Rin: You don't need a boyfriend to be complete. Focus on your school and your training.
Kellner: I just hope things get better.
SeaShel: I hope you're happy now that I'm miserable

I was at one point asked by a peer who I was to compare them to my seaShel. There is only one answer, and you damn better read it carefully. I am Allen Avadonia. I am the guy who apparently cares for people who don't give a f*** for me and instead drop the people who care for them most. I do not forgive ignorance. I do not forget cruelty. Expect me in the gates of Hell.