“I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.”- Jonathan Safran Foer. That is one of my favorite quotes and the most relatable to my situation. Everything happens in life for a reason and once you lose something and knowing you can never get it back is when your whole life changes and that’s when you realize you need to appreciate the things you have learned because you may never learned how to live like that.

In May of 1998, the unthinkable and the highly unexpected happened that changed my life and my whole family’s life in a matter of seconds. Everything was going perfectly well the day before when my whole family was planning events for my birthday that was two days away. I was only about to turn three and didn’t have much clue about anything at the time. Though I was young, it just seemed liked everything was perfect; perfect family, perfect life…nothing seemed to stop the happiness. Then the happiness stopped. May 23rd… that was the day of tragedy and the most hated day of my life. That was the day my mom passed away from an un-functional releasing of fluid in the brain. Though no one knows what that is, I just say she died from a heart attack. It seemed easier and less explanation, which equaled less pain and memory to seep out from talking about her death. Though the extent of my pain grew still and it was like a bomb re-exploding over and over.

Most teenagers have such a simple life and yet they complain about it even though others (like me) have it worse than they do. When I was in middle school, that was when I had to start being like a “mom” but instead of taking care of little children, I was taking care of my dad and my older brother who is also two years older than me. When I mean “taking care” I mean like getting groceries, cleaning the whole place and organizing, laundry, making food and serving food to them. It was a lot for a kid in middle school but you learn to accept it. It made me feel different and out of place with everyone else. I felt older and the pressure to be older. Being older without a choice really pushed my limits and pushed me to my breaking points. I wondered why is this all happening to me? It made me really angry that no one my age had to do what I have to do. I’ve cried so much that the pain was eating my insides and I would scream, “Why did you have to be gone mom and never come back?!” My question wasn’t answered right away and never was to be answered by anyone but myself. I knew then that I was not lucky, I was blessed. I learned from so many mistakes so early in life that it is such an advantage! Everything that I have learned has made me appreciate things and understand life better. I mean not many people know what it is to be like a full time mom from middle school to right now. That’s like over 5 years of housework, calculating bills, doing groceries, cleaning, and keeping everyone in line! It’s still a handful to this day but I work with it! I know now that I wouldn’t change a thing in my life. Everything happens for a reason and losing my mom has created this different lifestyle that I have learned so much from. Yes, I do regret that it takes a life to learn how to live, but I have so many advantages now that I might have never gotten to appreciate.