What really gives life depth and meaning? It has always been said that material possessions don't give people real fulfillment in life, but rather deep relationships rooted in one another. Being engaged in such relations with people in life allows for feelings, fears, and needs to all be expressed in a way that lets other human beings in on your life. Without people in life to vent to and express wants and needs with life can get very lonely and unsatisfying. Whether fulfillment in life comes from a romance or friendship, the joy of such a gift in life far outweighs the lows that may be experienced along the way. The reward at the end of the day to be close to someone is what makes the journey all worthwhile. In Zora Neal Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God and Tim O’Brien’s The Things They Carried both authors depict the theme of what love and friendship is and what it is not based on lifelong journeys the characters in each novel go through.
In Their Eyes Were Watching God Janie, the protagonist throughout the novel, is raised by her grandmother whose name is Nanny. Growing up, Nanny only wants the best for Janie and her future. When Janie grows into a young lady Nanny pressures Janie into marrying a man who is well-off, hard working, and respected. Therefore, when Nanny urges Janie to marry Logan Killicks, a wealthy middle-aged farmer, Nanny and the old folks in town tell Janie that, “Husbands and wives always loved each other, and that was what marriage meant” (21). Although Janie does not get feelings for Logan right away, Nanny’s convincing words push her into thinking this is what's best for her. The way Nanny forces the marriage to Logan upon Janie solely due to the fact that she wants to see her granddaughter secure and well-off is no way a young and vulnerable girl like Janie should go about finding that one true love. Janie should be able to make her own marriage decision based on her own feelings and not on those of her grandmother’s. It is evident that Janie is unsure about the unfolding marriage because she wonders, “Did marriage end the cosmic loneliness of the unmated? Did marriage compel love like the sun the day?” (21). These thoughts make it obvious that Janie is not ready for marriage because she has not the slightest clue what to expect and how marriage should make one feel. Janie doesn’t love Logan yet but just assumes that once they get married love will naturally blossom, which really isn’t the case in any marriage. When you love someone you will know it and it isn’t a maybe thing like it is in Janie’s case with her marriage with Logan.

While Janie and Logan are married Janie soon realizes along the way that she no longer loves him anymore. Logan doesn’t appreciate what she does for him in the home and tries to force her to do manual labor which leads Janie to leave Logan and run off to Eatonville with a man named Joe Starks and they get married. It is soon discovered that Joe is highly intimidated by all the men that gawk at Janie so he makes her keep her beautiful hair up in a wrap. In addition, Joe doesn’t accept Janie for who she is as an individual and instead shapes her into the type of wife he wants her to be. It becomes evident that their marriage has turned abusive when the narrator says, “Times and scenes like that put Janie to thinking about the state of her marriage. Time came when she fought back with her tongue as best she could, but it didn’t do her any good. It just made Joe do more. He wanted her submission and he’d keep on fighting until he felt he had it” (71). Joe’s own insecurities with himself just makes him lash out and pour all his frustration onto Janie which is not fair to her at all. Janie starts to feel helpless and powerless when her husband is always shutting her down and making her feel like her opinion has no value due to his hunger for control. The way Janie is treated in her marriage to Joe is no way a wife should be treated and it does not show much love at all the way she is abused physically, emotionally, and verbally.

When Joe gets sick and dies Janie feels free on the inside but on the outside she puts on a mourning face for everyone so that the townspeople won’t judge and gossip about her newfound sense of freedom. In addition, Janie begins to resent Nanny for raising her to chase wealth and status instead of her dreams of exploring the horizon. Janie soon becomes very friendly with a man named Vergible Woods, also known as Tea Cake. The two soon begin doing things Janie would never have been able to do in her previous marriage such as going out late at night. It is stated, “It was crazy digging worms by lamp light and setting out for Lake Sabella after midnight that she felt like a child breaking rules. Thats what made Janie like it” (102). The fact that unlike Joe, Tea Cake is concerned with things beyond materialistic desires in life is what really attracts Janie to him. Tea Cake really appreciates Janie for who she is and loves her regardless of her flaws, which is what true love really is.

In The Things They Carried the concept of friendship is depicted more than in Their Eyes Were Watching God along with deeper emotional bonds. Jimmy Cross, one of the main protagonists in the novel, carries reminders of his love for a girl named Martha while at war in Vietnam. Martha is a girl from his college in New Jersey who has given no indication of returning his love for her. Cross is constantly thinking about and wondering if Martha is still a virgin when he should be focused on the constant dangers that come from being in battle. One day when Cross and his fellow soldiers are to be standing guard in some tunnels Lavender, a soldier in Cross’ platoon, gets shot dead due to Cross’ daydreaming of Martha when he should’ve been alert and on guard. The narrator goes on to say, “He felt shame. He hated himself more than his men, and as a consequence Lavender was now dead, and this was something he would have to carry like a stone in his stomach for the rest of the war” (16). Jimmy Cross’ curiosity and fixation on Martha distracted him from his duties so much that his negligence has resulted in his friend’s death and subjected him to the harsh reality of war. When one is in war it can be easy to become very distracted by homesickness and missing loved ones, but in war it is fellow soldiers that are your new family for the time being and it is crucial to protect these friends with all your power because in battle they’re all you’ve got. Years after the war when Cross goes to Tim O’Brien’s home home, “Jimmy rubbed his eyes and said he’d never forgiven himself for Lavender’s death. It was something that would never go away, he said quietly” (26). This comes to show that after all these years he still hasn’t forgiven himself for his friend Lavender’s death. When one has such a deep friendship with someone and doing something foolish results in their death, it may be a lifelong journey of grieving to even to start to begin to heal.

Another deep friendship that is formed in the novel is between Tim O’Brien and his dear lover Linda. The story of O’Brien and Linda takes place when they are just little kids and going through the stages of puppy love. The two children go on a date one night with O’Brien’s parents to the movies. On the car ride to the theater Tim goes on to think, “By the fact of not looking at each other, and not talking, we understood with a clarity beyond language that we were sharing something huge and permanent” (218). Even though the two kids felt they were very much in love, the special thing was that their relationship was built on the concept of friendship. Their friendship had such passion that without saying anything both of them could tell exactly what one another was feeling, which is very rare to have with someone. It is important to build any relationship with someone starting with the idea of forming a friendship first.

At the end of the day when it all comes down to it, all that really matters is the people you surround yourself with in life. Whether those people be friends or a lover, these are the people that give life real purpose. As shown in Their Eyes Were Watching God and The Things They Carried it is important to cherish and not take these relationships for granted because they can be gone in a heartbeat.