“You know you’re in love when you finally can’t fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams”- Dr. Seuss. I, Pure Perfect, was the one who would be known for a class clown at times or the one who would isolate herself when needed. When I am happy, I put smiles upon people faces because someone put one upon mines. When I am down, I’ll lower my head and won’t say much. My happiness comes from my first love, and my sadness comes from heart breaks that I’ve felt in the past few years.
I believe in a saying that everything happens for a reason, it’s just that some reasons are better left as a mystery. There were reasons to why it took me almost my entire four years of high school to realize that love isn’t meant to be found. You can keep trying to search for it. But when the time is right, it’ll come to you. I’ve searched for someone to love me. I wanted a different type of love. Someone who would hold me in their arms, give me compliments, or just simply make me smile. I wanted a love that my family or my best friend couldn’t give me. I’ve spent majority of my teenage years into dedicating my time into loving someone who didn’t necessarily love me back. He loved the materialistic and money I had. That was when I realized that I was more so into the idea of having someone loved me.
After my last relationship with an old friend who I’ve known since my sophomore year in high school, I simply gave up my search. But there always came a time when I was around my closest friend and I wondered if he was the one for me. I’ve never doubted it and I never got my hopes it- just so I can simply watch them fall and crumble into a million pieces that won’t be able to be put together again. There came times when I would go to his house a lot and we make jokes, play around, and simply laugh all day like the “perfect” couple. Or there would be times where neighbors and people who worked at the corner store by our house would suspect that we were together- so they always questioned our relationship. I would just tell them that we’re extremely close. I didn’t want to be the one in the relationship who would always want more out of it and get nothing. So I was the one who would always play follow the leader in our friendship and smile like there wasn’t anything I would want to tell him.
Three and a half years later he finally had the guts to tell me how he feels. One night we went for a walk down by the Susquehanna River on Front Street and he started telling me from the first time he’d laid his eyes upon me that he grew feelings. I didn’t say much because I trying to keep my cool from jumping out of my skin and shedding tears. He told me how I’m the first thought he has when he wakes up and falls asleep. We walked side by side and I just listened. He asked me what’s up and I told him the million stars in the sky. The situation was already awkward enough when he started to tell me his feelings.
From that day forward, we are happily together and are still extremely close. Every teenager experience love and heartbreaks. It’s just how we deal with them. Some of us believes that kissing our significant other, tells our feelings. But it doesn’t. It’s just something we tell ourselves because we wish to be loved by someone other than a family member or a best friend. Its okay to wait and to let love find you. Or to search- hopefully you’ll get lucky. But to wait for when the time is right is the best feeling to ever have.